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User Topic: Does "Hope" = Gullibility?
laid2waste
♀ Member
Member # 20474
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been reading through my journal entries here and I'm both amused and appalled.

I was so full of hope that we were going to get past the betrayal and make our marriage work the way it should have that I became gullible.

Back then, I loved him with everything I had and would do just about anything to keep our marriage. I allowed him so much slack. I gave him more chances than any one person ever deserves. I overlooked so many things that should have screamed at me to run away and never look back.

Hind sight is always 20/20. I wish present sight and fore sight was just as vivid and accurate - I could have saved myself a lot of frustration and aggravation.


D-day: 6/20/08, 7/15/08
ME: BS/43
HIM: WS/41
OW#1: 44 YO - EA/PA lasted over a year!
OW#2: 55+ YO - PA/EA approx 8 months
STATUS: Spent 6 years trying to recover. I moved out; finally recovering nicely.

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Western Wisconsin
Furious1
♀ Member
Member # 42970
Default  Posted: 6:39 AM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think so. For me, my hope for the future has taken a major shift. For too long, my hope for the future revolved around the hope that my marriage would work out. Now I realize that whether my marriage does or does not work out, my hope for the future revolves around me. One way or another, I will survive this painful chapter of my life and be a better person for it, with or without my WH. I don't see that as gullible. I see it as sheer determination. I've been through a lot of crap in my life and I have seen the worst side of human nature. I survived it and I will survive this too.


BW (me): 41 WH (him): 49
Married 19 years. SD: 26 from his 1st. M. DS: 21 from 1st M. DD: 17 (autistic)
D-day: 10/4/13 with ongoing TT (last TT was 10/2/14).
2 OC with 2 different OW. 7 year EA followed by 8 year PA with my sister.

Posts: 359 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
need_hope
♀ Member
Member # 23989
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think if hope isn't tempered with a good dose of reality it has the ability to turn into gullibility. I know because I lived it. I wasn't gullible about what he was doing - I was tracking him as he was doing it. My blindness was in believing him capable of admitting he has a problem and committing to fixing himself. Once I finally admitted those things to myself, my decision was clear.


Me - happily single
Him - no longer matters
Married 28 yrs
Filed for D 1/10
DIVORCED 12/12

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic.


Posts: 1750 | Registered: May 2009 | From: East Coast
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope for another person's behavior when that person has demonstrated that s/he does not value you? yep, that is gullibility, IMHO.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 661 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
laid2waste
♀ Member
Member # 20474
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's exactly what I meant, WB.

I was gullible for 6 years... which makes me feel pretty stupid too.

And the light switch was right there the whole time - all I had to do was turn it on and find the door.


D-day: 6/20/08, 7/15/08
ME: BS/43
HIM: WS/41
OW#1: 44 YO - EA/PA lasted over a year!
OW#2: 55+ YO - PA/EA approx 8 months
STATUS: Spent 6 years trying to recover. I moved out; finally recovering nicely.

Posts: 135 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Western Wisconsin
Topic Posts: 5

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