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Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Golem and Pygmalion effect
islesguy
♂ Member
Member # 38090
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Golem effect is a psychological phenomenon in which lower expectations placed upon individuals lead to poorer performance by the individual.

I believe that I have been suffering from this within my relationship for the last few years because since my past was revealed my wife just expects me to fail. Breaking this pattern has been a daily struggle that takes a lot of focus and mental checklists to overcome.

The opposite of this is the Pygmalion effect whereby the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform.

The Pygmalion effect is the way I feel in my professional life and because of this it has been even more difficult to deal with my failures in my personal life.

Has anyone else felt this way?



Me: WH
Father of 3 beautiful girls

* I am a RS (Recovering Scumbag)
* Do as I say, NOT as I did. :-(
* I acknowledge the grace I have received. I know do not deserve it.


Posts: 228 | Registered: Jan 2013
sunnyrain
♀ Member
Member # 30164
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Golem effect is the worst! That feeling when you start to believe that you are a total failure because someone in your life keeps telling you that you are a failure, and then you decide to just "go with it" because, "hey, they all believe it anyway."

^ That type of thinking was a big factor in why I didn't think choosing an affair was that big of a deal. I mean, I'm a failure, right?

The Pygmalion effect, on the other hand, seemed to balance the scales somewhat for me. As long as I had someone believing in me, I seemed to be OK (ie: I was able to maintain appropriate boundaries and hold myself up to certain standards). It was only when I lost the Pygmalion glow that I fell into a funk and lost the belief that I had in myself, and began my A.

Anyway, not sure if any of this is helpful to you, but yes, I understand how the two different effects can cause the mind to battle.

I'm still digging my way out of the pit I created in my own mind. One thing I've learned for sure is that right actions matter. And even when I'm feeling at my lowest, I have to remind myself that wrong actions don't lead to right results. Self-respect is more important than self-indulgence.

Don't fall into the Golem trap. Keep your head above water! You are worthy and capable of being the best YOU for you and your family.


"I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

Posts: 450 | Registered: Nov 2010
dana47
♀ Member
Member # 43711
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, June 26th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My parents lead me to feel like a failure. I believe it is because deep down they are envious of me.

Posts: 56 | Registered: Jun 2014
Topic Posts: 3

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