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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Fiancial help???
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBXH is a very selfish man(understatement of the year). Anyway he made a financial offer fof what amount to be getting screwed over gain. I am disabled and can not work so I will have to make sure I get a lasting settlement.

I countered offered and included the vehicles and things like that. I also included his humidors, he told me I could keep them. Like what good would they do me?

Doe anybody know how to settle financially without it getting ugly? The divorce itself is going to be ugly enough.


Posts: 330 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
cvs2kkids
♂ Member
Member # 41298
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((SB))

It rarely happens. You can try mediation, but that only works if both partners are open to discussion.

In your case, with you being unable to work, you'll probably need a lot more then he will willingly give up. So unless you're willing to lower your lifestyle with what he offers, or he realizes he'll need to anty up more under the circumstances, I would prepare for court appearances.


Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind


Posts: 234 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:53 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mediation only works if both parties want it to work and are already close to being on the same page. I'm thinking that you'll be needing to go to a judge, because it's judges who make decisions for you and can/will force someone to do something. A mediator's job is to get an agreement, any agreement, and not "care" if one party is happy about it or not.

I think you'll be needing your official declarations/findings that you're disabled and cannot work in order to sway a judge to write a decision that protects you. Even then, you also need to be prepared that your STBX may still find ways not to provide support to you.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is also trying to intimidate me into agreement he is offering. I don't think he understands I am fight for my life.

Posts: 330 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honey, he understands. He just doesn't give a shit. (((HUGS)))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 10:15 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^^ what she said


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
dmari
♀ Member
Member # 37215
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry to say but I don't know if there is a way to settle financial issues in your situation without it getting ugly. You may have to do some research on your own or hire an attorney with experience in divorce and disability.

Are you receiving SSDI or any other type of government assistance? I think it may be helpful to document the amount of support you relied on from him throughout your marriage.

It does not seem as if your stbxh gives a shit about anyone but himself so you are going to have to advocate HARD for yourself. You CAN do this! Good luck!!


Me (BS): 43 Children: DD 19, DS 15
Divorced September 30, 2014
"It's always darkest before the dawn ..."

Posts: 2271 | Registered: Oct 2012
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is no time to be nice or screw around. This is the rest of your life you're talking about here. A good lawyer will be money well spent. Do not deal with this asshole without the support of a lawyer with experience in this issue.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 8

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