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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 21
MindMonkey
♂ Member
Member # 41679
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This conversation is triggery for me. I have given her suggestions on where to look for ideas, I have given her specific things to read and in every case somewhere in her response is this is just too hard or I don't think I have it in me to do that. I guess it is real easy to drop the bomb, but is too much work to help cleanup the aftermath.

Sorry for the trigger. I get you brother.

In the beginning she said she would do "whatever it takes for as long as it takes" (I think she read that in a book). Actions aren't always that great. I too have given suggestions and received "I don't know if I can do that".

How about a subject change...fireworks?

This is my first year in the DC area. As the nation's capitol I expect to be impressed!


BH, 35, CoD, Military...sober since 6/17/14
FWW, EA/PA (x2) different OM coworkers
Reconciling since 8/1/13
100% ready to file at next dealbreaker...don't test me.

Posts: 209 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: NoVA
FrmrBH80124
♂ Member
Member # 42967
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Looking forward to the fireworks in St. Pete Florida! Should be a spectacular display. Not as good as DC but not bad either.

Happy 4th Gents!


ME - BH 45
Her - XWS 30
D - April 2010 - never looked back and good riddance.
Happily remarried!

Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days
moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are


Posts: 169 | Registered: Apr 2014
FeelingMN
♂ Member
Member # 32240
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I live in St. Paul, MN. Usually our fireworks are set off right down on the banks of the Mississippi near downtown and we sit almost right underneath them. Not DC for sure but we don't know the difference yet either. Because of the flooding though they had to move them so I'm expecting it to be not as good as years past.


Me 41
fWW 37
DD(19), DS(17), DD(11) (Mine, hers, ours)
Together 14y, Married 12
DDay Aug 2010, 4 mos TT & gaslighting
ONS + EA after 15yr Class reunion out of state

Posts: 267 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Minnesota
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's always asking what can She can do to make me feel better.

It sounds like myy WW is a cross between MindMonkey's and Frmr's. Like Frmr's, mine doesn't ask, but if she did MM's three reasons (mainly #3) would be behind her asking. I feel like her attitude is, "I'm willing to do the hard work it'll take as long as you do all the hard work because I don't like thinking about what I did."

[This message edited by WearingTheHorns at 2:06 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)]


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony

2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 272 | Registered: Dec 2012
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

STBXWW sent another "I'm sorry, I can't fix this, we will be happier in the end", text after complaining of how hard she's worked to get the marital home sold. It was very hard to stay crickets.

It helps that her hoovering is in form of these "broken person" texts instead of flirting. It's very much not attractive.

It's not that she "can't" fix it. It's that she "won't" fix it. Or "can't" because of the FOO crap and issues. Doesn't matter which I guess. Bottom line is that I'm alone now.

Took my lunch hour to look at some houses today. After the marital home is sold, I may want to get into a house, new construction preferred, to make my own memories with my kids from scratch.

I'm in no huge rush, but at this time in my life I'd rather pay mortgage than rent. Time continues to run and sooner than I want to there will be my kids' college to pay, so I have to straighten up the finances.

It's my year to have the kids on July 4th so I'll be picking them up tonight.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 745 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MindMonkey - cool! I'm just outside of DC. We don't go to the Mall anymore; too many people, too much traffic, and too much security. Plus, they've cracked down on the partying since I used to hang there. No coolers, crap bathrooms, and nothing to help me put up with it . But they are awesome fireworks, some of the best I've seen. Not Sydney on New Years good, but good.

I think we won't do fireworks this year - golf, grill out, and enjoy the evening watching the lightning bugs in the trees. They are so dense right now the canopy looks like Christmas trees twinkling. If you've never seen it, it's a thing of beauty.

Happy 4th Mates! Stay safe, and may the fourth be with you


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3960 | Registered: Dec 2011
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've seen it Tred, it is beautiful. May the fourth be with everyone too!

Posts: 6617 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Looks like we'll be spending the 4th with WW's family. Brats and fireworks on the lake. Could be worse
Have a fun and safe fourth gents. Remember the brave men who gave us cause to celebrate the day. When they ended the Declaration of Independence pledging their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor they meant it. Many of them lost their fortunes, some of them lost their lives, but none of them, ever gave up their sacred honor. I like to think that to some small degree we menz share that quality with them.


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony

2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 272 | Registered: Dec 2012
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you're on the VA side of DC, you used to be able to get a good view of the fireworks from the Iwo Jima memorial and other places along the Potomac.

We usually go to Wilmette for brat(wurst)s, ice cream, and wonderful fireworks viewed from the beach on July 3. My back just won't be able to take that tonight - we're going to miss the show and the friendship this year.

Famous (in Illinois) 4th of July parade goes by our door tomorrow, and...to say what I was about to say would get me uncomfortably close to the 'no politics' boundary. Suffice it to say, the parade here is a showcase for political candidates, which is sometimes special.

Beautiful day today, supposed to be beautiful tomorrow.

[This message edited by sisoon at 4:16 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)]


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10166 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you're on the VA side of DC

I used to live by the Huntington Metro station. On a good night we could see them from the top of the hill.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3960 | Registered: Dec 2011
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy 4th to everyone. May everyone be successful in their quest for shade at your local parade (At least here in the west, hotter than a tick on a hotplate)

Not very exotic this week, but I like it.
Cheers Fellas


M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 543 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Looks wet. And it's beer. What's not to like?

Gents - I started a thread in JFO in case we unfortunately have some new members. We know it's slow here on weekends, especially holidays. If you are on, jump up there and bump it if you think it's worthy. I'll be golfing, drinking, and healing


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 3960 | Registered: Dec 2011
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Beautiful post in JFO, Tred. I'm sure that will provide many with solace and comfort. Thank you.

Ah, beer. Looks good from here, DR!


Posts: 7216 | Registered: Dec 2010
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dusted off the whiskey tasting table for tomorrow, lets see if I can get this photo url to work.

Now that I know it's working, who wants a glass of what. Yeah, some guys are into cars which is cool, I like to drink things that make me think that I go fast. This is what I have out, but anyone is welcome to whatever they want. I have plenty more in reserves that aren't in display.

>

Look, actual whiakey porn mags in the background.

I'm starting off with a Glenmo Companta. Anyone else want one?


[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 9:25 PM, July 3rd (Thursday)]


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2154 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yop25, you may be my most favorite person ever now!


Looks wet. And it's beer. What's not to like?

Well said as always Tred.

Happy 4th brothers!


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Posts: 1149 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, yop... I am in shock and awe. Beautiful collection! Wow... Just, wow...

Posts: 7216 | Registered: Dec 2010
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 10:19 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I call it the double Double.


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2407 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sigh, yop, my brother. Really? I would probably have some inappropriate comments right now if we weren't both still married.

Wow, just wow!


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2869 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MM, sometimes it takes time. 8 months into the year I gave her, I got the same thing. Regret only goes so far and really, has nothing proactive about it. Remorse, well

She's always asking what can She can do to make me feel better.

won't enter the conversation anymore.
Glad you *see* that.

Happy 4th gentlemen.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2869 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Looking forward to the fireworks in St. Pete Florida!

Heading there right now!

This is my antiversary season. A year ago last night she didn't come home. July 13th was d day. It's been on my mind. But I'm meeting up with old friends for a beach day. Going to watch the fireworks from a rooftop pool deck in Tampa. Surrounding myself in love and positivity and support. And palm trees.

D is final in one week. Next weekend is gonna be rough.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 759 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
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