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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 21
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I paid full price for Kerbal almost a year ago. Worth every penny and they keep adding to it. Pull the trigger!

Posts: 1756 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
HeartFullOfHoles
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Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 12:17 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One more comment regarding the story Tred posted. How many had your WW basic say "Just a flesh wound" after piercing your heart?


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 183 | Registered: Mar 2014
cvs2kkids
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Member # 41298
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HFOH,

Strange bit without context. It appears she has zero concern for your well being and likely to re-offend.

Keep watch and be careful


Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind


Posts: 234 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
RyeBread
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Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How many had your WW basic say "Just a flesh wound" after piercing your heart?

Mine definitely did in the form of blaming me for the A. She had a laundry list of wrongs and assumptions that I was the perpetrator of what "caused" her to make that decision to have an A. She is an expert at minimizing her behavior and choices.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Razor
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Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How many had your WW basic say "Just a flesh wound" after piercing your heart?

Mine definitely did in the form of blaming me for the A. She had a laundry list of wrongs and assumptions that I was the perpetrator of what "caused" her to make that decision to have an A. She is an expert at minimizing her behavior and choices.

My WW definitely does not GET the level of destruction that her affair has brought into my life. But in truth. does ANYONE get it that has not experienced this level of betrayal?

Once WW was whining about how *she hurts too* and I told her that her pain was nothing compared to mine. A pin prick. And that I would trade places with her in a hot second. She was shocked.

WW also clings to the belief that my behavior pretty much made her have her LTA. IMO WW cling to this belief because taking responsibility for her choices is hard. No one wants to be wrong. IMO most people when confronted with the consequences of their actions their first impulse is to blame someone or something else for what they did. Its human nature.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
jjct
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Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 3:25 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because most of the culture reads the rot on vogue, huffpuff, or teevee - just read one this morning on "Why Women Cheat" - and yeah, it's the typical FOS stuff - menz, it's our fault donchknow - like wal says, there's just no common narrative for where we find ourselves, and it takes a bitch of an effort to forge one, we do it on our own here.

So combined with the amount of really, just shallow people out there (see funny equation above), who aren't' either equipped or willing to do the heart-crushing work...you know, those who are easily influenced by what they're hearing and reading 'out there' (like this crap):
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/26/infidelity-study-_n_5534655.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592

...so we get *this*.
It's all right though, I prefer to be here amongst people of the truth & my brothers.

& let's not forget - another reason the crap is 'accepted' so easily is because it's 'convenient', and it allows them to accept the false message that there were other reasons besides themselves.
I've stepped in puddles deeper than most of that crap.

[This message edited by jjct at 3:36 PM, June 27th (Friday)]


Posts: 6675 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
MadeOfScars
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Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh yeah, I remember 2 days after d-day where my now ex had the gall to show up at my house wanting to talk. That conversation was full of phrases like "I'm worried about you," and "I hope you don't do anything stupid." Then there was "I'm so confused" and "I don't know what I want." Then there was "I'll come back home if we can go out more (all we did for the last few months is go out and have me watch her get ridiculously drunk)." Oh, my favorite - "I know I said I wanted more intimacy, but now you're being clingy."

"I." "Me." "What I want." What I need." What you need to do differently so I won't need to cheat and lie." Even in my most vulnerable hour, I heard it for what it was. It's the WW narrative, and it's a joke. Just happens to be a very painful "joke" for us menz, but one we can get past much stronger for.

Oh yeah, I forgot - "I've been talking to my sisters and my 'besties', and they've made me feel much better about my decisions." For real. She said that shit. That helped me let go of her family and friends so much easier, so I guess that's a blessing.

Anyway, it's Friday night, so I raise a glass to you all!


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Posts: 1280 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
LostSamurai
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Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh yeah, I remember 2 days after d-day where my now ex had the gall to show up at my house wanting to talk. That conversation was full of phrases like "I'm worried about you," and "I hope you don't do anything stupid." Then there was "I'm so confused" and "I don't know what I want." Then there was "I'll come back home if we can go out more (all we did for the last few months is go out and have me watch her get ridiculously drunk)." Oh, my favorite - "I know I said I wanted more intimacy, but now you're being clingy."
"I." "Me." "What I want." What I need." What you need to do differently so I won't need to cheat and lie." Even in my most vulnerable hour, I heard it for what it was. It's the WW narrative, and it's a joke. Just happens to be a very painful "joke" for us menz, but one we can get past much stronger for.

Oh yeah, I forgot - "I've been talking to my sisters and my 'besties', and they've made me feel much better about my decisions." For real. She said that shit. That helped me let go of her family and friends so much easier, so I guess that's a blessing.

OH HELL. This sounds like my story to the T. It is so scary to realize the women we loved are no longer the women we fell in love but basically monsters now.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1041 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
Mikey56
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Member # 38063
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How many had your WW basic say "Just a flesh wound" after piercing your heart?

My WS called it "a bump in the road". I told her it felt like I got hit with a brick.

Peace Brothers...enjoy the weekend.


Posts: 115 | Registered: Jan 2013
HeartFullOfHoles
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Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CVS, It's basically she does not understand all the pain I am in and unbelievably her first husband cheated on her. Oh, but that's right she only had an EA. She seems to be starting to get my pain, but I'm starting to get to the point where I don't care anymore and she is still acting very odd. I'm probably going to give it a bit more time since it would be better for everyone involved if we stayed married, but the only way that's going to happen is she has to own her issues instead of trying to dump them in my lap.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 183 | Registered: Mar 2014
HeartFullOfHoles
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Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And I forget to say I hope everyone has a great weekend. I get to spend some time with my youngest watching a movie while WW is out with a friend and am spending Monday evening with my oldest so I have a few things to look forward to other than work.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 183 | Registered: Mar 2014
sunsetslost
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Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry to thread jack but I gotta brag quickly. An old pal is in town with his kids for the oldest's U-12 All Star baseball tourney. Unfortunately he's the man that told me about SI. His son led off today, first time with the All Star team. 3-1, he turned on a fastball and hit the sumbich 300 feet (dead center is 225).


Don't know who was more proud. Glad I was wearing sunglasses.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 773 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
MadeOfScars
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Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No need to apologize sunsetslost. That is damn impressive. That's a friggin' bomb right there!

It's the mark of a good man who is proud of his kids, that should go without saying. There's something pretty special too about a man who is proud of his buddy's kid.

ETA: Need to check up on my Goddaughter tomorrow.

[This message edited by MadeOfScars at 10:46 PM, June 27th (Friday)]


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Posts: 1280 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
WearingTheHorns
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Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 12:26 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I." "Me." "What I want." What I need."

Yeah, I've thought several times the theme song for all waywards should be that Beatles song "I, Me, Mine"


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony

2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 287 | Registered: Dec 2012
jjct
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Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 3:51 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pFCPTYq5Tc

Posts: 6675 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
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Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:04 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto sunsets!
There's something pretty special too about a man who is proud of his buddy's kid.

And vice-versa! (right now, I think Tred's putting the vice into vice-versa )

Reminds me...
A few pages back, I told of my oldest son, DS1 telling me good and comforting things @ how he would never cheat because he 'saw what I went through', and how he 'always respected me for not talking bad about mom'...

Earlier this week, DS2 - who has been a work in progress because he's tender-hearted = feels things deeply... called me , he was very upset...teary.
He was telling me @ a girl he really liked (I've seen her, she's a looker), and how he opened his heart up a little to her...
Now get this.
He was upset that she wanted to have sex with him.

He told me that he doesn't want that.
"I don't roll that way, dad."
"I don't do like all the others, and go for hook-ups."
"I'm not into that, and all my friends know that."
"I want something meaningful - more than that - and she just turned around and left when I wouldn't have sex with her."

Me - astonished - "You're a true and special young man with a boatload of integrity."
Him - "Of course I am dad - look who my father is!"

Really. Just shoot me now. My life is complete.


Posts: 6675 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
WearingTheHorns
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Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is truly awesome jj! You should not only be proud of those boys, but proud of yourself for shaping them into the fine young men that they are.


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony

2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 287 | Registered: Dec 2012
5454real
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Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

*Bang*

Damn jj. You done GOOD brother. Let us know when your feet touch the ground again. Truth to tell, when you do that well, a little floating is well deserved.

Brothers, take heed. That's the way a GOOD Father raises a child.

"Just a flesh wound"

Am I the only silly SOB who flashed back to Monty Python?


Enjoy the weekend brothers, sosorry and I are welcoming DGD to our family.

Drinks are on me!

[This message edited by 5454real at 2:22 PM, June 28th (Saturday)]


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 3031 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Schadenfreude
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Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 2:25 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Looks almost like
A
Clone
Same hairstyle anyway

Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
HeartFullOfHoles
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Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 5:07 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

5454real, That was on purpose. Gotta love the Black Knight for his perseverance, but some days I feel too much like him.

jjct and sunsetslost, All I can say is doing good! Other than being daughters I hope my two end up in a similar place. Thanks for sharing.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 183 | Registered: Mar 2014
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