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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 21
FrmrBH80124
♂ Member
Member # 42967
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HT, I think Frodo said it best to Sam in the Return of the King:

[Sam enters Bag End. Frodo winces and grabs his shoulder.]

Sam: "Mister Frodo? What is it?"

Frodo: "It's been four years to the day since Weathertop, Sam. It's never really healed."

Unfortunately, it never will fully heal. Time heals but doesn't fully heal all wounds.

Thinking of all you fine men dealing with this crap daily. Sending you strength and encouragement.


ME - BH 45
Her - XWS 30
D - April 2010 - never looked back and good riddance.
Happily remarried!

Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days
moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are


Posts: 181 | Registered: Apr 2014
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you stayed off SI, I remembered that I have wondered whether sometimes SI helps and sometimes it hurts us, if inadvertantly.

Don't get me wrong - it is not hyperbole when I say I owe my life to this site. I cannot imagine how I would have come as far as i have without SI. Still, some forums, some posts, they can set you back. For example, I remember venturing into JFO a few months back thinking it was my time to pay-it-forward and offer consolation and advice to some newbies. Turns out I was the one needing consolation afterwards.

Anyway, I haven't asked WW about it. Don't know if I will. Seems somewhat crude.

Yeah....definitely a discussion I could not have with my ex. Well, she's my ex so it doesn't really matter. Had we R'd, I still don't want to go down that road - why add more opportunities for hurt? Of all the hurtful things she said to me which were packaged as "advice" on what I (and not her) needed to do if we were to R, my size was never mentioned as an issue. I guess that's kind of a relief as I'm no Ron Jeremy, but I've never had a complaint in that regard either, so I guess that's good at least.

Now...if I could only convince myself of all of that.

Beautiful post overall Sal1995. We know what you mean - sometimes the toughest advice to take is your own, especially in regards to this...



“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Posts: 1255 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Nitrobob
♂ Member
Member # 42021
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now...if I could only convince myself of all of that.



Me 50 WW 40, 3PA, 1EA over single summer 7/13-9/13, DDay 10/13
M 9 years,together 12, in R mode

James Russell Lowell — 'Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully like other people.'


Posts: 135 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 1:07 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"you are NOT putting that in me". Alas, never got that.

Getting rejected for being too large might be great for the ego, but I'd still rather get laid.

It's better to stick it in and be thought small than to walk away with no sex at all.

Besides, what we're really talking about are compatibility issues. Women come in different dimensions, too.

ETA: Tred had a great post about penis size some time ago. Can't remember it exactly, but something along the lines of his penis only needs to serve his pleasure, not anyone else's.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 1:13 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


Me (BS)-45, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1456 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Besides, what we're really talking about is compatibility issues. Women come in different dimensions, too.

Short gals with tiny hands?

Some days I am good with the philosophy that it's my dick, if it's happy then I'm happy. Other days I am down on myself with the whole I Wish I Had An Extra Inch Or Two thing. I try to remind myself on those days that I'm not on Planet Gor with a harem of physicist sluts to adore my dong in erudite erotica (I MADE AN ALLITERATION ALL BY MYSELF SEE) (that is the one with the same sounds and shit right?) and my dick size is really only relevant to the woman I am fucking, and if she's unhappy with it then she can talk to me about it. Though that's probably like broaching the subject of "Honey, you should probably drop a few pounds" because it seems like one of those things that just doesn't have an easy approach. Unless you're in the mood to be an asshole, which is probably how a lot of this shit gets aired in the first place.

Then after that long, winding thought process which takes about 3 seconds to wander down mentally and then massive levels of hyperfocus to remember long enough to type it out, it wanders right back around to the point of that kind of crap coming out: it's meant to be hurtful.

So of course her never saying a word about it and my awareness being through vids and pix means I can't rationally attribute it to a hurtful intention and my brain gives me a big, malevolent villain laugh and a FUCK YOU middle finger right between the eyes. Fortunately, by that time I've lost all interest in this shit because holy fuck, I have never seen a USB cable like this before, what the fuck does it even connect to? IT CONNECTS TO THE CAN OF WASABI & SOY SAUCE ALMONDS I MISPLACES BEHIND THE COMPUTER 6 WEEKS AGO WHEN I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE THE FUCK I COULD PLUG THIS THING IN!!!

So I end up a winner. Those nuts are fucking AMAZING.

eta:

In the event someone has never viewed their awesomeness:

[This message edited by StillGoing at 1:28 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

StillGoing - You win at life; those nuts are fucking amazing!


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Posts: 1255 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Montreal
♂ Member
Member # 40627
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My D-Day was July 6th of last year. So I just passed my one year antiversary. I spent that day in a good deal of pain, to be honest with you. Couldn't eat much, stomach hurt, sweating like a pig. At some points I wasn't sure if I could take another step. "Just keep going" I kept telling myself, "Just keep going." By the end of the day I was exhausted, drained, physically beat up.

Of course that's because I had just finished my first ever Half-Distance Triathlon!

When D-Day hit a year ago I had been in the middle of training for a triathlon. Why a triathlon? Because I had turned 40 and couldn't afford a convertible. And let's face it, nothing screams "mid-life crisis" better than a 40 year old man wearing Lycra. But once D-Day hit that all fell to the wayside. Could barely get out of bed, never mind run for two hours. I was going to chalk it up to one more thing lost to her affairs, along with my dignity, morale, happiness and innocence. But then I thought "Fuck that!" I decided to do something for ME, something to reclaim my virility, my manhood, my physical prowess. Something to reclaim the day. Women go on night marches to reclaim the dark; I was going to do a damn triathlon to reclaim July 6th and my right to wear spandex. So I found one. I found a triathlon that fell on the exact same day as my antiversary. And I did it. Drove nine hours to get to it, but I did it. In front of a cheering crowding that was enthusiastically lying about how good I looked. It was hard to think about how my wife emasculated me in a way that short-shorts just couldn't when my legs were cramping so bad I looked like C3PO on a death-march. Not saying I didn't think about it, but I was focused on other things for the most part, and if nothing else I'll have two things to remember for that particular day. Doing that worked for me. Somewhat.

As for penis size, I was one of the lucky ones that got to actually see the pics, and thus was able to conclusively conclude that yes indeed, she went for the porn stars. Emasculating indeed. But you know what? My wife is a good 50lbs overweight, and I just did a triathlon. I can't do much about the size of the physical hand I was dealt, or any other appendage for that matter, but I can stop myself from eating my way through an entire can of nuts, and from fucking around on my wife, or any other man's wife for that matter. So who is really the better person here?

How is that for cross-subject posting? D-Day, Dick-Size and My First Triathlon. Sounds like the title of an off-Broadway show if you ask me.

[This message edited by Montreal at 2:08 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


DDay: July 6, 2013
Trying.

Posts: 91 | Registered: Sep 2013
cvs2kkids
♂ Member
Member # 41298
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As for penis size, I was one of the lucky ones that got to actually see the pics, and thus was able to conclusively conclude that yes indeed, she went for the porn stars. Emasculating indeed.

Yup

However, that's about the only thing the AP had to offer, anyone. He was more broken then STBWW.

I'm about a year and a half past D-Day 1. Since I'm on the way to divorce, all that crap related to the A is easier to release.

I'm a better man than he. Much better person then she.

To hell with them both!!


Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind


Posts: 234 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm no Ron Jeremy

He's not either anymore lol. Several years ago after my first M ended I went to an adult bookstore where Asia Carrera and Randy West were appearing. He made some comment about Ron Jeremy and Asia said, "Who are you talking about?" He said, "Ron." She rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, you mean Round Jeremy?" lol

Short gals with tiny hands?

A young man asks his grandfather, "Gramps, you and Grandma have been marred for a long time. What's the best advice you can give me about women?"
The old man said, "Marry a woman with small hands."
"Why's that matter?"
"It makes your penis look bigger."

Perhaps that explains midget porn...

[This message edited by WearingTheHorns at 3:26 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony

2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 286 | Registered: Dec 2012
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 3:43 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Oh, you mean Round Jeremy?"

So, I guess I compare more to him than I gave myself "credit" for. My gut has subsided quite a bit though since d-day (which I am proud of).


D-Day, Dick-Size and My First Triathlon.

Awesome. In context it's pretty damn funny. Taken out of context and read through the viewpoint of someone who sees "d-day" and thinks about the WW2 d-day, it's even funnier.

Congrats on the triathlon!


[This message edited by MadeOfScars at 3:48 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Posts: 1255 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 4:39 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had a WW state on this site that her AP was literally "half the man" her BH is. Didn't stop him from banging her, though.

Trying to make sense of the senseless is crazymaking. She didn't cheat on you because you weren't sufficiently endowed. I doubt she had any clue as to POSER's size the first time she took the plunge. She cheated on you because she lost her way somehow and he offered her something that she perceived as lacking in her life - an escape, validation, a sense of being young again, blah blah. She wanted those things. And she didn't care who got hurt in the process. No other reason.

Besides, how many of our WWs discovered our penis size for the first time on our wedding night?

Didn't think so.

See? All this talk is nonsense. We're emasculating ourselves more than anything else. Any woman who doesn't approve of my penis size/shape/color is free to kiss my ass on her way out the door. And if she's a WW, she's lost all right to complain about shallow and superficial shit, anyway.


Me (BS)-45, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1456 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 5:12 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

stbx blew one of her OM the first time because when he kissed her he was hard. Size had nothing to do with it. Another OM was reportedly hung like a mushroom and she still did him for over a year. A third I know is not well hung and she went back for more with him. I am confident that size is not what drove her involvement, it was how special she felt about the attention from the OM. There was no special size, shape, or technique that kept her interest, it was all in how attractive, smart, and special she felt from their attention.


FBS 54
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4133 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You guys realize that you're worrying about the wrong things, right?

What you should be worrying about is how badly your WW has broken her mud puddle of a vagina by cramming god-knows-what foreign objects into it for the last few years.

I mean, shit bounces back, but nothing stays elastic forever. The more you wear it out with fruits, vegetables and whatever dicks happen to be hanging around, the less shelf life its got.

Stop mourning the size of your dick. The fact that she's broken her twat to the point that she needs a Mack truck rolling through there to moisten up is really more her health issue than yours.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6750 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 5:37 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WAL hit it spot on......if you ever find yourself deep inside swinging like a lasso and still can't touch the sides, be glad that you strapped on the stainless steel titanium reinforced prophylactic.

RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN, seek immediate urgent care for STD check followed by intensive psychotherapy, to figure out what in the hell is wrong with you that you wanted to have sex with that to begin with.


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1032 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm always a little nervous following up a WAL post. I just saw this, and I think it will do just fine.


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 37406 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH5-

Good shit.


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2175 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 6:07 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Having a cheating wife is just devastating to a man's self-image. And from what I gather when venturing in General, having a cheating husband is devastating to a woman's self-image. I guess having a spouse that thinks it's ok to shed clothing for someone else will do that to a person.

It's funny...in a sense married persons really are two halves of a whole. When one half of a body is sick, it affects the entire organism. Women who for years thought of themselves as attractive and cherished all of a sudden see sagging boobs and crows' feet. Men who thought of themselves as attractive and cherished start thinking about the possibility that their freakin' penises are too small.

We suddenly realize what it feels like to be...expendable. We can be replaced, with better parts. Or newer parts.

We obsess over what that says about...us. Us, not them. Oh sure, we pay lip service to what's wrong with them. But we obsess over what we think is wrong with us.

Truth is, nothing is wrong with a loyal, faithful spouse other than the usual petty stuff that fallible humans do to annoy one another from time to time (this assumes you're not an abuser, raging drunk, etc.).

We know at some level that most of the fuckedupedness in our marriage comes from our spouse. And that it always has. We saw it early in the marriage, but chose to stick our heads in the sand or rationalize it all away. So what if her family is completely dysfunctional and she kind of sorta acts like them? She's the good one, we tell ourselves. So what if she was a little too easy in the early days. Easy as in an uncontested layup easy. It must be due to my awesomeness (guess my penis and the rest of me was good enough back then). Naw, can't be something more serious, like an indication that her morals, standards, and boundaries might be shaky, if not almost entirely nonexistent. We put on some dark shades to block out that huge neon warning sign that hangs just over her head.

Now that they've behaved in a way that, in hindsight, was highly predictable, we do the most illogical thing imaginable and wonder just what the hell is wrong with us.

Makes perfect sense.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 6:14 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


Me (BS)-45, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1456 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We know at some level that most of the fuckedupedness in our marriage comes from our spouse. And that it always has. We saw it early in the marriage, but chose to stick our heads in the sand or rationalize it all away. So what if her family is completely dysfunctional and she kind of sorta acts like them? She's the good one, we tell ourselves. So what if she was a little too easy in the early days. Easy as in an uncontested layup easy. It must be due to my awesomeness (guess my penis and the rest of me was good enough back then). Naw, can't be something more serious, like an indication that her morals, standards, and boundaries might be shaky, if not almost entirely nonexistent. We put on some dark shades to block out that huge neon warning sign that hangs just over her head.

Now that they've behaved in a way that, in hindsight, was highly predictable, we do the most illogical thing imaginable and wonder just what the hell is wrong with us.

Makes perfect sense.

Touchdown.


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2175 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
doubleboggy
♂ Member
Member # 40622
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Once again Sal, you nailed it.

Giving WAL a run for his money as thread guru.


D Day: 3/31/13

Posts: 107 | Registered: Sep 2013
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Touchdown.

Thanks Ascendant. I'll take the 6 points. It's not just POSERS who "score" around here.

Giving WAL a run for his money as thread guru.

Doubleboggy, I appreciate that. I really do. But if you think that's the case then we need a thread devoted to nothing but WAL's greatest hits. His command of the language, and the overall topic, far exceeds mine.


Me (BS)-45, WW-43
DDay 2/17/13, 9-10 month PA/EA
M - 18 years, 4 children
Reconciling

Posts: 1456 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
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