Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 21
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congrats 545! She's adorable

Losfer I'm jealous of you and Koda getting sway in the mountains like that!

MOS you are absolutely right about your gut brother. Don't ignore it.

[This message edited by WearingTheHorns at 7:25 AM, June 30th (Monday)]


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony

2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 272 | Registered: Dec 2012
HoldingTogether
♂ Member
Member # 29429
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


If you ever have the chance to go to an SI G2G-

...just do it. You will not regret it, trust me. The people on this site are the fuckin' coolest.

I spent the last three days with some of the nicest, warmest people I have ever met.

Peace.

Conveniently enough there just so happens to be a G2G coming up in Dallas/Fort Worth this October.

What a coincidence! People should really look into that. Hint Hint

There are several of you gentlemen who I absolutely need to meet. Seriously, it's on my bucket list.

HT


Me:BH 41
Her:FWW40(Walkinoneggshellz)
2 Beautiful little girls 13&10
Dday: 7/24/10 1yr EA turned 5 monthPA
"I gotta hole in me now... I got a scar I can talk about."

Posts: 407 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: New Life
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 7:24 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let me echo the sentiments on the G2G. Seriously - Go to one if you are at all able. The Houston one in March was an incredible experience, and come Hell or high water, I will be in Dallas in October.

The thing about many online communities is meeting folks in person can often be disappointing. This site though? I came away far more impressed by the character of the people of SI than I ever knew through a computer monitor, and you are all very, very impressive through the 1s and 0s as it is. We are all family, and we treat each other as such.


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Posts: 1152 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Coming up for air as it's been insanely busy..

545 - your grandkid is adorable. Congratulations!

I've never heard of an SI G2G in Norcal. Hope there is one soon.

Saw STBXWW's new house (had to pick up the kids). As big as the one she left because she can't afford, but at least now it's a rental. Apparently her mom is helping her, though I find it incredible she still needs that much space. Heard she bought all kinds of things for it - seems she's overextending herself, which explains why she asked if I'd be paying her credit card last time I saw her (WTH?).

I felt angry about it, she's still out of control, and this time financially, which pretty much guarantees she'll go bankrupt eventually and probably blame me for it. I realize I can do nothing to help her self-destructive streak but be ready to have my kids 100% of the time at some point, probably sooner than I'll feel ready for. But so far 50/50 has been working great, so I'm sure I'll adapt.

Cooking like crazy for the week. Tired but my mood is improving as I get busy and do stuff.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 749 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
HeartFullOfHoles
♂ Member
Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ATS, too funny, but that's the type of complement that ends up with some serious repercussions. I can already hear the words she would be saying!

It seems like my WW may be trying to do the work needed to add an 'f'. Still to early to know for sure. The way things have been going for the last six months I had odds on an 'x'. 'f' is certainly best for all involved, but I'll be fine either way. Actually if all I cared about was me the 'x' would probably be slightly better, but that's not who I am.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 160 | Registered: Mar 2014
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How To Write a Poem
by jj

my WW may be trying to do the work needed to add an 'f'.
Still too early to know for sure.
The way things have been going for the last six months
I had odds on an 'x'.
‘f’ is beyond some’s capacity to endure…

'f' is certainly best for all involved,
but I'll be fine either way. So good!
If all I cared about was me the 'x'
would probably be slightly better that way,
but that's not who I am,
nor how I roll in my hood.

Thank you. Thank you.
I'll be here all week, and please tip the waitstaff.


Posts: 6617 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 7:01 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations GrandPappy! The baby is cute. Nice to have some blessings around here.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never heard of an SI G2G in Norcal. Hope there is one soon.

There have been some g2gs in the N. Cali area but they were before you joined. Last summer there was one in early June and another in August. Maybe they will throw one together again soon.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52327 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So yesterday the lesson in Sunday school was about temptation and giving in vs. fighting it. The prime example used was adultery. I noticed WW mostly sat there looking down at her bible, so I figured she was feeling a little beat up on. Later in the afternoon I asked her what she thought about the lesson. She looked at me like "What do you think I felt?" She said it was hard having everyone judging her and telling her what a sinner she was. That it's hard enough having to be reminded of it, and having everyone tell her what a bad person she is for having done it was even harder. I said it wasn't directed at her, and that wasn't the only sin they were talking about. She said she knew that, but it felt like it was all directed at her. She told me again that's not the person she is anymore, and swore up and down she'd never do it again. I told her it's hard for me trying to get through it and to believe that, she said she knew it was. She said every day when she prays she's thankful for everything she has because she knows how close she came to losing it all. I have to admit part of me felt a little sorry for her, but a little part of me danced a jig knowing she felt like it all was directed at her.

I didn't think about it until right before bed, but one thing that kind of stuck out to me, was that there wasn't a single "I'm sorry" from her, and there hasn't been the last couple of times we've talked about it. I've told her before I don't need to hear "I'm sorry" every day, and maybe she's taken that to mean I never need to hear it, I don't know. I can't really even say how often I feel like I'd need to hear it, but I think that I do. Of course, even if I did get that from her I can't say it'd make any difference. Do those of you who do get at least an occasional "I'm sorry" find that it makes any difference to you?


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony

2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 272 | Registered: Dec 2012
Nitrobob
♂ Member
Member # 42021
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's a tough one. When I start talking about it, if WW starts the "I'm sorries" or occasionally starts crying, I say, "stop, I didn't mean to upset you, I know you're sorry, just saying how I feel" stuff. In other words, I get protective. I want to stop the crying, even though I'm causing it. It's a weird dynamic.

The problem is that a thousand times "i'm sorry" just doesn't cut it, and never can. There is nothing that can be said or done to undo it.

It's an epic betrayal, for which there are no epic apologies.


Me 50 WW 40, 3PA, 1EA over single summer 7/13-9/13, DDay 10/13
M 9 years,together 12, in R mode

James Russell Lowell — 'Whatever you may be sure of, be sure of this, that you are dreadfully like other people.'


Posts: 133 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Midwest
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a weird dynamic.

Amen brother.


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony

2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 272 | Registered: Dec 2012
LostSamurai
♂ Member
Member # 41347
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's an epic betrayal, for which there are no epic apologies.

At least she shows it. My STBXWW doesn't even show empathy for the hurt and pain she has caused me. The family is suffering and I feel like I am perishing day by day because of this.


I am now nothing by a mere Ronin.

Posts: 1036 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: Maryland
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBXWW doesn't even show empathy for the hurt and pain she has caused me.

Ditto!

All I get are the reasons why it was justified. She says she knows I am hurting but the focus is always her and her feelings. And I mean ALWAYS.
Not to mention her behavior since shows that she is not sorry. My WW earned the STBX title, with honors. Or should I say dishonors.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 1030 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The problem is that a thousand times "I'm sorry" just doesn't cut it, and never can. There is nothing that can be said or done to undo it.

It's an epic betrayal, for which there are no epic apologies.

Exactly.

My STBXWW doesn't even show empathy for the hurt and pain she has caused me.

If our WWs had the ability to have empathy on any level I doubt they would have had their affairs.
OR.
If they had empathy for what they were about to do then it would be clear that the affair was directly intended to hurt us to the core. If they had empathy and did this anyway then IMO they would be evil to the core.

My WW has no ability to feel empathy. She doesnt get it. but she knows she doesnt get it and I think thats something at least. A sociopath (no empathy) that at least knows in her head that what she did was wrong and caused pain is at least a slight improvement from a sociopath that doesnt know this.


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.

Hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of man.
Friedrich Nietzsche


Posts: 3483 | Registered: Sep 2007
atsenaotie
♂ Member
Member # 27650
Default  Posted: 11:14 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If our WWs had the ability to have empathy on any level I doubt they would have had their affairs.

^^^^^^ What Razor said!


FBS 54
Separated and Divorcing

Posts: 4132 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: FL
HeartFullOfHoles
♂ Member
Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the poetry lesson JJCT! I couldn't have said it better .

WTH, Sounds like the Holy Spirit was working overtime in your WW yesterday. It is interesting to see how easy it seems for them to fall back into the it's all about me thinking in times of stress or conviction. WW hasn't been to church in probably a year so I don't get to see her conviction if she ever gets any. We had a sermon on bitterness.
That made for interesting conversations with friends after.

Sending strength LS.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 160 | Registered: Mar 2014
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

CONGRATS 545


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7456 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
cvs2kkids
♂ Member
Member # 41298
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBXWW doesn't even show empathy for the hurt and pain she has caused me.

Ditto!

All I get are the reasons why it was justified. She says she knows I am hurting but the focus is always her and her feelings. And I mean ALWAYS.
Not to mention her behavior since shows that she is not sorry. My WW earned the STBX title, with honors. Or should I say dishonors.

X2.

She recently said I am one of her best friends and will always be.

Take note other BFF, apparently hide your husband

She calls me to update me on her new job status and ask my opinion

STBXH, not your f'ing father!!

Told me it's both our faults

Funny how I didn't trip and fall into another vagina!

Anyway, can't fix stupid or emotional retardation. Starting to look forward to D.

And Congrats 545, apparently grandchildren are perfect, unlike their idiot parents!

[This message edited by cvs2kkids at 2:30 PM, June 30th (Monday)]


Philippians 4:6-7

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your mind


Posts: 226 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: NB Canada
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Funny how I didn't trip and fall into another vagina!

I can be pretty clumsy myself, but I've also always managed to avoid that one.

On those best friend and source of advice comments, I think my ex has finally figured it out, or just found someone else to leech off of - I don't care either way. No, we are not best friends, let alone friends. I've had to cut ties with friends for less painful/hurtful things. No, I don't want to know how you're doing or just "catch up sometimes." No, it is not my problem that you don't know what to do about this-or-that. The last time she asked my advice was right after our divorce was final. I was at least nice enough to remind her that I was dropping her from my benefits coverage, to which I got numerous questions on what she should do to get coverage for herself. "I don't know - talk to your HR" was my copy-and-paste response until I gave up and stopped responding; then she stopped asking. All's quiet since on that front - finally....


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

Posts: 1152 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Sproket
♂ Member
Member # 41262
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

New thread part 21,

My doctor has released me saying my recovery is complete.

Ready to get back to work.

[This message edited by Sproket at 3:16 PM, June 30th (Monday)]


ME:BS 40
W: WW 40
M: Oct 2009
D.D Nov 2, 2013

Posts: 80 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: VA
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.