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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 21
FrmrBH80124
♂ Member
Member # 42967
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been divorced from XWW for more than 4 years. We have no kids and don't have anything that warrants us to keep in communication, yet she feels the need to text me that she is going for her MBA and is taking Managerial Accounting. I'm a CPA IRL.

On what planet does she think I care?

I've haven't emailed, called, texted, or responded in any way in over a year and I STILL get random texts from her. I've blocked her number but seriously, WTF? Not really needing any advice, just a mini vent.

I'm new to the thread so hope you have room for another...


ME - BH 45
Her - XWS 30
D - April 2010 - never looked back and good riddance.
Happily remarried!

Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days
moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are


Posts: 181 | Registered: Apr 2014
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 4:09 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On what planet does she think I care?
Bizarro world where rainbow farting unicorns roam the land in vast herds?


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 3997 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
WearingTheHorns
♂ Member
Member # 37916
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Funny how I didn't trip and fall into another vagina!

Odd how we don't do that but often are treated as if we had. I've mentioned before about doing local theater, ande while I'm definitely not the handsome leading man type, I have played roles that required kissing the woman playing my wife. WW always HATED that, and it was like whomever I had to kiss immediately became her mortal enemy. After dday I asked her about that. How was it such a HUGE betrayal for me to kiss another woman on stage only because the script said to, while her kissing, fucking, and sucking other men was acceptable? She didn't really have an answer other than it presented the "possibility".

[This message edited by WearingTheHorns at 4:15 PM, June 30th (Monday)]


Dday: over a period of three days 11/14-16/2012.
EA/PA: ~ 2 1/2 years
EA/beginning PA: ~ 10 months

"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony

2 Cor 12:9-10


Posts: 281 | Registered: Dec 2012
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are we still making no0bs bring the beer?

You're welcome here Frmr.

I remember my first Coors in the 70's...it was REAL good - fresh, because I believe they shipped it cold, didn't they?
I think it became too expensive to do so, and it went to tasting like everything else...
dunno if that's right,
or I'm making it up.

Trying to keep contact (outside of kids and finances) is a way they seek to legitimize themselves.


Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
FrmrBH80124
♂ Member
Member # 42967
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hope I brought enough to share....

Go large or go home....


ME - BH 45
Her - XWS 30
D - April 2010 - never looked back and good riddance.
Happily remarried!

Though much is taken, much abides; and though we are not now that strength which in old days
moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are


Posts: 181 | Registered: Apr 2014
HoldingTogether
♂ Member
Member # 29429
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Trying to keep contact (outside of kids and finances) is a way they seek to legitimize themselves.

Exactly. Cause, you see, if you are still buddies then she must not be a total bitch. Right?

The effort to retroactively reconcile their own fucked up actions in their own minds in an attempt to some how exonerate themselves from their own internal self recriminations would be sad really if it wasn't so fucking hilariously transparent.

And that is the winner for longest run-on sentence of the thread thus far. GOOOOAAALL!



Me:BH 41
Her:FWW40(Walkinoneggshellz)
2 Beautiful little girls 13&10
Dday: 7/24/10 1yr EA turned 5 monthPA
"I gotta hole in me now... I got a scar I can talk about."

Posts: 430 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: New Life
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 4:56 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I remember my first Coors in the 70'

JJ and the Bandit...you look like a '77 Trans Am type of guy


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4002 | Registered: Dec 2011
HeartFullOfHoles
♂ Member
Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 5:04 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seems like my WW may be trying to do the work needed to add an 'f'. Still to early to know for sure. The way things have been going for the last six months I had odds on an 'x'. 'f' is certainly best for all involved, but I'll be fine either way. Actually if all I cared about was me the 'x' would probably be slightly better, but that's not who I am.
I was wrong. She retained an attorney this morning. Looks like I need to practice writing STBXWW. She also said in the counseling session she still wants to be friends. I'm sure she does so that way I can come take care of things for her or answer her questions. I told her I was not going to fight for her this time. Here's what I wrote our counselor this morning regarding something I had given STBXWW to read ("How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair") and the comments she had made.
Her comments left me somewhat conflicted. It seems like she was making some good observations, but they were often in the past tense. The same applies to the email messages she has sent recently, also in the past tense. It feels like a bunch of I'm sorry messages that will eventually be followed by goodbye.
Looks like I nailed that one. I guess time to start focusing on me and my daughters.

Going to spend some time with my oldest daughter this evening. It's going to be hard since STBXWW doesn't want to tell them yet. I feel like going to the house and telling them now, but don't want to mess up the evening with my daughter.

Welcome Frmr.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 176 | Registered: Mar 2014
HeartFullOfHoles
♂ Member
Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 5:08 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Forgot to add. She said this was likely going to be the worst mistake she ever made (divorce). Well for her it probably will be, but her affair is #1 for me.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 176 | Registered: Mar 2014
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:13 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Frmr!
I think we're set.

Tred, you pretty much nail it, though an earlier version:


...'68 400

It basically got stolen, so I rebuilt a 307 (.30 over) & added a few tweaks & stuffed it in this:
.

...71 Camaro


Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
HeartFullOfHoles
♂ Member
Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That looks like a '67 not a '68 JJ. I have a '67, yellow with black vinyl top. I fairly sure only the '67 had wing windows.


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 176 | Registered: Mar 2014
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:35 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ugh HFOH)))!
I had to actually let her think we could still be friends (with neutral responses to her comments, such as; "Hmm. Interesting. I need to think about that.") because I needed to reduce the drama and potential for out-of-control-ness.
That was my sitch,
maybe not yours, but overall it's wise now - for your protection, to play your cards close to the vest.
Can you figure out how to do that without giving it away that you *actually* are?

Google the phrase: "How to tell children about..."
& there will be good ideas out there for you for the (((DD's))).
Often STBXWW's 'agree' to tell the children as a team, together...and often it's a lie and they jump the gun. I hope she can at least be decent about further traumatizing them & holding off until you both can game-plan it.

She "retained"?
You need to get yerown methinks.


Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

& good catch on the '67!
I had forgotten.

ETA: you "have" one? holy guacamole!
What's in it? Can't be an original un-rebuilt 400 can it?

[This message edited by jjct at 5:40 PM, June 30th (Monday)]


Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
HeartFullOfHoles
♂ Member
Member # 42874
Default  Posted: 6:04 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes I'm trying to play it close to the vest. I said I wasn't sure it made sense to continue going to marriage counseling if we were going to get divorced. Yes I will play the understanding person as long as I can because like you said it is in my best interest to do that.

Yep it's an original 400 had it since I was in high school, which was a long time ago. Sorry STBXWW but that's not part of the marital estate!


BH - Divorcing
D-Day 4/28-29/2012
Two daughters in HS

Posts: 176 | Registered: Mar 2014
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 6:13 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello, and welcome, Frmr! You definitely know how to make an entry!

jj - As you know, I usually prefer the micros, but being a Colorado boy, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Coors. Still tastes fresh to me, but I get it pretty close to the source. I always have some on hand, if you're ever in the neighborhood.


Posts: 7485 | Registered: Dec 2010
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a '67, yellow with black vinyl top.

Pics or I'm calling you on that . With a handwritten date stamp on the car - no stock photos .

Hate to say welcome, but I will.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4002 | Registered: Dec 2011
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What's up with the El Camino in the garage JJ?


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 37370 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Ain't mine - stock photo.

HFOH - original? That is hard to believe! How many miles on it? Do you drive it regularly? Have you ever thought about rebuilding it? omg - I'm not excited.

Losfer - I took a tour of the Busch brewery in Williamsburg when I lived there, and it tasted entirely different at the brewery. Fresh. Close to the source indeed! AmIright @ my memory of cold-shipping when they started?

In that vein, looks like plenty of room for pitching a tent here:
http://spencerbrewery.com/
Road trip!
(DR! - check it out - they even have a glass! )


Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
wincing_at_light
♂ Member
Member # 14393
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I might have to punch some of you guys.

After getting *this close* to the finish line, I had to buy my first ever minivan last year.

So, yeah, proud owner of a 2013 Dodge Grand Caravan. Fuck you guys.


Machiavellian idiot savant

Posts: 6749 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: Indiana
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and HFOH - the way you said it; "I'm not sure..." (@ MC) is pretty good...it doesn't ping her alarms that you're detaching.

However my brother, if you're really "not sure", let me assure you now. Your gut is spot on. It would be a total and complete waste of money and time. (Don't tell her I said that though)...


Posts: 6644 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
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