ETA? Behave? That's our middle name! Especially when combined with mis and oh.
[This message edited by Tred at 11:19 AM, August 9th (Saturday)]
[This message edited by HurtingandLost at 11:32 AM, August 9th (Saturday)]
Probably going to harvest some green beans out of there today. Keeping my fingers crossed that I can still get some peppers. Those plants are still looking pretty rough. This garden has been kind of my "peace project" this year, and a labor of love. Sure beats the crappy area of crabgrass that used to occupy that space.
Love that nickname, ASC! Have fun with the Minecraft.
H&L - I love panfish. I did a lot of panfishing when I was a kid, visiting my grandfolks in Nebraska. My grandpa taught me how to filet like a champ by the time I was 10. Your post makes me hungry just thinking about it.
Not doing much with my kid today. He is wiped out from day camp this week, which I am okay with. He woke up with a really bad cough and stuffed up nose, which I am not okay with. I'll probably watch a movie with him later.
Your nap was well earned indeed, h0peless.
I need to get out before this rainstorm hits. Keep getting caught up with boring "indoor chores".
Fuckin' roomates, sometimes, I swear. I have a few stories to share in that department as well...
Going back to what StillGoing said a page or two back....I have also found that substituting the word 'affair' with any other kind of shitty behavior, i.e., alcoholism, drug abuse, domestic violence, etc., has been a pretty successful tactic, as far as shutting people down when they try to blame cheating on the BS.
I don't even mean talking about my situation really, but just dumb people who brag about their cheating and get all up in arms when I tell them they are a terrible person. I have, to borrow a phrase I heard WAL use, eaten a few people's lunches on the topic.
My MC was never as bad as the one at hand, but I did have to stop her a couple of times and point out that my wife's cheating is her issue....we're not here to figure out how to stop her from cheating. That's her job.
ETA: I think that one of the biggest mistakes us new BHs make is that when we enter into MC, we don't move quickly enough to say "We are not here to figure out why she cheated and how to prevent it from happening again. That's off the table. She can figure it out on her own time and dime."
[This message edited by Ascendant at 1:34 PM, August 9th (Saturday)]
Tomatoes have been doing ok, lots of cherry, couple burpee heirlooms, and some warped looking beefsteaks that look like a leper's offspring.
Cucumbers and beans have been doing great, squash are coming along nicely, pumkin, etc. Rhubarb and raspberries galore. But peppers and eggplant were a waste of time. The corn is about 5 feet tall but not producing, so not going to bother with corn next year either. The deer did enjoy the melons though. Ate them roots and all. The rabbits and field mice LOVE the strawberries.
First time gardening since I worked my grandmothers acre garden as a kid. Its been a great diversion through all of this shit. Bow season opens up in a few weeks and should provide another much needed outlet. Oh, and duck season. And fall turkey. Then rifle season for deer. Damn, fall's just gonna suck!
I had a really fantastic therapist, and she helped me through a lot of really difficult shit. One thing I did fault her in, though, was early on she mentioned, "We will need to discuss the part that you played in the affair."
When she said that, I felt like someone hit this huge cosmic pause button, everything went quiet, birds stopped chirping, dogs stopped barking, people on the roads came to a screeching halt, and the earth stopped rotating. I was like, what???
I explained to her that my wife's affair with POSOM started four or five months before my wife even met me. How could I possibly have played any part of her actions in her life before she even knew me?
But yeah, total bullshit when therapists do that. I think it is an "old school" way of thinking. Once I talked very openly and candidly about that with my therapist, we were able to move forward and do a lot of really great work. Therapists are human. They do make mistakes. I would in fact recommend my therapist to anyone, as she was open minded to hearing my concerns, and I felt like she changed her way of thinking by talking to me, her patient.
When I would go visit the grandfolks in Nebraska, they had a saying there about the corn, "Knee high by the 4th of July." Sounds like yours is right on track this season. I don't have to worry too much about wildlife where I am at. I do have a fence up, though, as I have a malamute that is crazy about any type of vegetables. I've caught him grazing on my sugar snap peas several times this year.
I hear you about the outdoor therapy. There's nothing quite like getting out and playing in the dirt, or casting a line out into a lake. I'm not a hunter, but I can definitely see how that would provide you with some peace, quiet, and space to think.
Good to see you posting out here, man.
But yeah, total bullshit when therapists do that. I think it is an "old school" way of thinking.
Maybe, but personally I think it's just a stupid way of thinking. The only way to look at it like that is to consider the affair a symptom rather than a cause.
Fuck, running up the family CC to buy power tools and build shitty furniture in the shed could be a symptom of a shitty marriage that way, instead of being an irresponsible waste of money.
I'm not a big fan of non-behavioral branches of psychology though, so I have a hard time going into a therapists office feeling like I'm on equal footing. I have to remind myself that this person probably isn't a total douchebag and really is trying to help, so I raise them up a bit as a benefit of the doubt kind of thing.
Which has worked out well. Our MC right after dday was great. Helped a lot. Before dday, that one... she was kind of wacky but, I wouldn't say a waste of time.
In every case I always cringe when I see a framed certificate with the word "hypnosis" on it. I just have to suck that one up though. Even my psychiatrist has one of those. I think they come on the back of corn flakes boxes or something and they make a good conversation piece.
I totally lost what the fuck I was talking about, sorry.
And all for about $400.
And DD8 got to see dad work what's essentially magic to her.
So tonight is playing videogames with dd8 night. Have a great one gents.
Grilling, golf and games. Citywide celebration, city golf championship and the grandson spending the night. FWW has been mostly awesome. Things going well.(Loudly knocking on wood)
Gentlemen, good weekend to all.