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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men Part 21
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WNO is pretty fucking awesome, yes sir.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7488 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm still plugging away on my old quad core AMD and Radeon 5770. It seems to do what I ask of it for the most part. I'll probably do a new build in the next year or so, though.

Posts: 1736 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
WornDown
♂ New Member
Member # 37977
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just introducing myself...

Long time listener, first time caller.

Actually, I had joined SI long ago, but two cross country moves and 4 years later and I lost my password, email acct changed, etc.

I've been lurking on the new account for the past two years or so. I just never took the time to write my story and introduce myself.

The story is just too long and complicated (see my profile).

But my WW is a serial cheater and I FINALLY realize that she'll never change and it's time for me to give up the dream of growing old together.

That's what finally led me to write (and I primarily just follow the betrayed Men, the rest is like just watching a rerun, and dominated by womens perspective).

Divorce is coming. My wife and kids live 5 hours from me, and I'll never get an explanation as to why. So I'm here for the support (and the beer).


Me: BH (43)
WW (43): Way to many guys to count
Three kids (D17, D15, S13)
Together 24 years, married 18

I held on to the dream of marriage for WAAAY too long.


Posts: 50 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Around the Block a few times
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome brother. Both are available in great quantities here.

Wish I didn't have to meet you, welcome anyway.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2995 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome worn down sorry to see you join our little club. But as long as your not letting tred bartend the beer's decent

[This message edited by HurtingandLost at 10:05 PM, August 11th (Monday)]


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1032 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 10:10 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just read your profile, WornDown. Rough shit. You will at least have some peace now though. Welcome to the Menz. We gots what you need here.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
mhca
♂ Member
Member # 41920
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WornDown: Sucks man, but sounds like your head's in the right place.

Read your profile, that's harsh. You're so right to be done with her. (BTW, there's a special place in hell for the Ashley Madison people.)


Me: BH 47 STBXWW 47 (Lklb5)
M 19 years, DS 15, DS 11
DD#1: 12/24/2013
TT/Broke NC/False R
DD#2: 4/15/2014
TT 4/23, 4/24, 5/31, 7/19
Divorcing

Sample recovery plan, feedback welcome: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=539961


Posts: 788 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: California
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, August 11th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Worn, don't know what you do for a living, but I would think you had a helluva argument for custody. My XW didn't drink, do drugs or attempt suicide. She was dumping the kids at her parents so she could be with the OM. Have you talked to a L yet?

Since you aren't a noob by anything other than post count, I'll buy first, next is on you.


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 20(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 2995 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 7:29 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome WornDown. I read your story. I can relate to some extent and don't blame you for being done. If I ever get a hint of my wife going back on AM we are dunski. I won't be subjected to sleeping with multiple partners against my will and unknowingly ever again.

Sorry you are here brother.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4005 | Registered: Dec 2011
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome WornDown. That is one very long tragic story. I agree with 545. I think you have a hulluva argument for custody, child support, the whole shabang. Sorry you are here but you have come to the right place.

yop


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2201 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WornDown-

Welcome. Good dudes in here.

wincing_at_light-

That computer gave me a big rubbery one. I'm jealous.

ETA: It was my 31st birthday yesterday, I should've bought one of those fuckin' things.

[This message edited by Ascendant at 9:53 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


I keep my mind on my future/and my eyes on the sky/I don't really smile much/If you were there you'd know why.

Posts: 2175 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: City in the Midwest/Best In The Whole Wide World
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ascendent,

Happy belated B-Day brother! It's not to late to treat yourself.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4005 | Registered: Dec 2011
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Didn't catch a thing. Didn't care.


[URL=http://s28.photobucket.com/user/jojodadancinbear/media/309C7F81-F309-4F14-A16A-21862F0DA8B9_zpscfzztn4t.jpg.html][/URL]


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 773 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello and welcome, WornDown - Great to have you here, despite the circumstances. Read your profile, too. Brutal stuff.

Happy Birthday, Ascendant!

Yesterday was my 41st b-day.

Cheers, man.


Posts: 7555 | Registered: Dec 2010
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WornDown...welcome

Sunsets...you suck! not really, I'm jealous and thats one hell of a view.

Ascendant & Losfer
Two birthdays on one day.
Hold on, were'd I put that damn tap....found it.
Keg stand time!
Happy birthdays fellas.

[This message edited by DefiledRage at 11:13 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


M:14yrs
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 555 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Birthday Losfer and Ascendant.

WornDown, read your profile and I'm sorry Brother that you've been put through that shit. I'll second the fact that the AM folks can burn in hell.


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1032 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 12:01 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome Worn Down. I read your profile too. I am so sorry, but I am glad to see that you are headed towards escaping that hell.

Happy belated B day Ascendant !

Sunsets- No sharks ? Are all the sharks gone ? Maybe near the tip of S Africa filming shark week promos ?

Bad day fishing beats a good day trying to R with an unremorseful WW. LOL.

Not much new on my side. Just having ruminations related to my W "getting away with it." I have a hard time shaking that. Along with the, "So she is sorry ? " Seems too easy.

My narrative seems misaligned with my real life.

IDK. Maybe if I had something big I needed to be forgiven for it would prove to me that I would get the same treatment (role reversal IC empathy exercise). I honestly don't believe my W when she tells me that. Maybe part of that is knowing I wouldn't cheat.

No, I am not going to go all RA on you guys.

"The last thing we (read I) need is another woman." Tyler Durden


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2559 | Registered: May 2010
HurtingandLost
♂ Member
Member # 29322
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Numb -

Maybe if I had something big I needed to be forgiven for it would prove to me that I would get the same treatment (role reversal IC empathy exercise).

I don't know your wife but the shoe wouldn't fit on the other foot if the roles were reversed with my stbx.

"The last thing we (read I) need is another woman."

My stbx pulled the whole "you'll find someone" B.S. in the midst of her latest fling and I looked at her like she was nuts. Why in the hell would I even want to put myself through this shit a third time?

Meanwhile, FIL and her step dad both along with my dad are chearleading me to "get back in the game" and establish "service points". WTF is wrong with folks? I just want to go get a dog from the pound and be left the hell alone. If I had the funds I'd buy one of the isolated farms a little further out from town to complete the tranquility of it all!

[This message edited by HurtingandLost at 12:14 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)]


36 BH
Sons 16 and 8 Daughters 11, 7, 5.
Ex and STBX both cheated, thinking of getting a dog as a companion after D. At least they're loyal.

Posts: 1032 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: MidWest
WornDown
♂ New Member
Member # 37977
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks all.

Kids are a complicated matter. The oldest is a senior and pretty much independent (she's learned her mother is not the most reliable person - the bipolar and ADHD (BPD?). In fact she told my youngest just that last week - mom's not reliable.).

The other two however, have tended to side with mom when she and I have fights (Dad, just leave mom alone), so I'm kind of the mean, bad guy. My kids love me, but mom also lets them do what they want (stay up late, not clean, etc.), largely because she doesnt want to deal with an argument.

Add to that, I'm living in a basement in another state, and have no $ to rent/furnish an apt (bipolar wife spent the $$, and a year of unemployment)...

I'm going to wait and see how the kids do in school etc. this year. If they start having issues, then I may push for custody.

And to be brutally honest, I think sometime on my own is needed. I feel like I've lost who I am after spending 18 years dealing with what the wife wants, plus kids, etc. But honestly, today, I just know.

The reality of my marriage being over and kids being 5 h away has been hitting home the last few days.


Me: BH (43)
WW (43): Way to many guys to count
Three kids (D17, D15, S13)
Together 24 years, married 18

I held on to the dream of marriage for WAAAY too long.


Posts: 50 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Around the Block a few times
numb&dumb
♂ Member
Member # 28542
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, August 12th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oops missed Losfer. Sorry buddy. Happy Bday.


Me-35 her-35

DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.

Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.


Posts: 2559 | Registered: May 2010
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