Long time listener, first time caller.
Actually, I had joined SI long ago, but two cross country moves and 4 years later and I lost my password, email acct changed, etc.
I've been lurking on the new account for the past two years or so. I just never took the time to write my story and introduce myself.
The story is just too long and complicated (see my profile).
But my WW is a serial cheater and I FINALLY realize that she'll never change and it's time for me to give up the dream of growing old together.
That's what finally led me to write (and I primarily just follow the betrayed Men, the rest is like just watching a rerun, and dominated by womens perspective).
Divorce is coming. My wife and kids live 5 hours from me, and I'll never get an explanation as to why. So I'm here for the support (and the beer).
I held on to the dream of marriage for WAAAY too long.
Wish I didn't have to meet you, welcome anyway.
[This message edited by HurtingandLost at 10:05 PM, August 11th (Monday)]
Read your profile, that's harsh. You're so right to be done with her. (BTW, there's a special place in hell for the Ashley Madison people.)
Sample recovery plan, feedback welcome: http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=539961
Since you aren't a noob by anything other than post count, I'll buy first, next is on you.
Sorry you are here brother.
Welcome. Good dudes in here.
That computer gave me a big rubbery one. I'm jealous.
ETA: It was my 31st birthday yesterday, I should've bought one of those fuckin' things.
[This message edited by Ascendant at 9:53 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]
Happy belated B-Day brother! It's not to late to treat yourself.
Happy Birthday, Ascendant!
Yesterday was my 41st b-day.
Sunsets...you suck! not really, I'm jealous and thats one hell of a view.
Ascendant & Losfer
Two birthdays on one day.
Hold on, were'd I put that damn tap....found it.
Keg stand time!
Happy birthdays fellas.
[This message edited by DefiledRage at 11:13 AM, August 12th (Tuesday)]
Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."
WornDown, read your profile and I'm sorry Brother that you've been put through that shit. I'll second the fact that the AM folks can burn in hell.
Happy belated B day Ascendant !
Sunsets- No sharks ? Are all the sharks gone ? Maybe near the tip of S Africa filming shark week promos ?
Bad day fishing beats a good day trying to R with an unremorseful WW. LOL.
Not much new on my side. Just having ruminations related to my W "getting away with it." I have a hard time shaking that. Along with the, "So she is sorry ? " Seems too easy.
My narrative seems misaligned with my real life.
IDK. Maybe if I had something big I needed to be forgiven for it would prove to me that I would get the same treatment (role reversal IC empathy exercise). I honestly don't believe my W when she tells me that. Maybe part of that is knowing I wouldn't cheat.
No, I am not going to go all RA on you guys.
"The last thing we (read I) need is another woman." Tyler Durden
DS 1, DD 6
Dday 8/31/11. ONS that occurred 3 years earlier. Lied to for 3 years.
Every truth comes to light in a long enough timeline.
Maybe if I had something big I needed to be forgiven for it would prove to me that I would get the same treatment (role reversal IC empathy exercise).
I don't know your wife but the shoe wouldn't fit on the other foot if the roles were reversed with my stbx.
"The last thing we (read I) need is another woman."
My stbx pulled the whole "you'll find someone" B.S. in the midst of her latest fling and I looked at her like she was nuts. Why in the hell would I even want to put myself through this shit a third time?
Meanwhile, FIL and her step dad both along with my dad are chearleading me to "get back in the game" and establish "service points". WTF is wrong with folks? I just want to go get a dog from the pound and be left the hell alone. If I had the funds I'd buy one of the isolated farms a little further out from town to complete the tranquility of it all!
[This message edited by HurtingandLost at 12:14 PM, August 12th (Tuesday)]
Kids are a complicated matter. The oldest is a senior and pretty much independent (she's learned her mother is not the most reliable person - the bipolar and ADHD (BPD?). In fact she told my youngest just that last week - mom's not reliable.).
The other two however, have tended to side with mom when she and I have fights (Dad, just leave mom alone), so I'm kind of the mean, bad guy. My kids love me, but mom also lets them do what they want (stay up late, not clean, etc.), largely because she doesnt want to deal with an argument.
Add to that, I'm living in a basement in another state, and have no $ to rent/furnish an apt (bipolar wife spent the $$, and a year of unemployment)...
I'm going to wait and see how the kids do in school etc. this year. If they start having issues, then I may push for custody.
And to be brutally honest, I think sometime on my own is needed. I feel like I've lost who I am after spending 18 years dealing with what the wife wants, plus kids, etc. But honestly, today, I just know.
The reality of my marriage being over and kids being 5 h away has been hitting home the last few days.