This is what I did:
- I moved out in the middle of June. Since the bills for the month of June were paid as of this morning, I stopped allowing my check to be deposited into the account for July 1st. I’m working on my codependency, but I still left all of the remaining money (checking and savings) in the joint account and just started my own account. He said he would live in our (rented) home, as I could not afford it by myself (but it is rather expensive). I told him that I would pay toward the joint debt we incurred. I also left all the furniture in the home, and just took my clothes, as there was some emotional and physical abuse, and I wanted a fast, clean break.
He’s livid, for one. Some of that is due to control, because he was checking the account every second of every day to see what I was doing. He’s also comparing expenses, saying that I’m having to pay much less for my lifestyle now while he stresses about money and it’s not fair. He also says that I spent money in the month of June that he needs to be reimbursed for (for example, like fixing my car). Uh, we both spent money in the month of June, I’m not asking for reimbursement. But, I need to know if what I did was ok. He’s using terms like “abandonment” and “suing” and “lawyers”… and I just don’t want anything coming back to bite me in the rear.
[This message edited by last.chance65 at 11:23 AM, June 27th (Friday)]
Grab a plate and throw it on the ground.
~ Ok, Done
Did it break?
Now, say “Sorry” to it.
Did it go back to the way it was before?
Now, do you understand?!
Whopps. ETA: you are allowed to have an account and do what you want with your money. Does he work- have income?
You may end up being responsible for some joint debt, but make sure you have the date of separation solid.
[This message edited by PurpleRose at 11:25 AM, June 27th (Friday)]
Otherwise, it's his own damn fault for wanting to stay in the expensive house. He's more than able to find a cheaper place if he wants.
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
I understand wanting to provide stability for the kids, but it's too much house. I'm finding that he's definitely more interested in what I will be spending and saving as opposed to anything else, through his comments during the day. But, I just wanted to make sure he couldn't do anything legally about me separating my finances.
Until you are served with something, no wait until you are court ordered to pay him anything, there is no fight over money and nothing to worry about. Right now it is just him blustering and bitching. This isn't about the money, this is about you leaving him and being better off for doing so, he can't handle it so he is puking his own shit all over you with a bunch of empty useless threats. Retain an attorney and get the divorce filed so you get all of this in writing. Be prepared he is absolutley livid that you want away from him so bad that you'll leave with the clothes on your back, no CS, and pay joint debts. He will likely keep ramping up the noise and threats, that is why it is best to be as NC as possible and do not engage him. I went through the exact same thing. Literally walked away from everything, gave him everything just to get away.
Congrats on the new place, may it be filled with peace.