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Newest Member: conflictedcolleg (44943)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Rough day
aero1122
♀ Member
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just feeling like crap today. Nothing in particular happened but I am very on edge. My H is leaving in 9 days to go away with the military for 3 weeks and I am afraid he will do something stupid. He has been great since d-day, being open and fully committed to us but this will be a test for me. His cheating has nothing to so with the military and the 1 woman in his unit is lesbian but I am still nervous and it sucks.

I hate not being able to trust him anymore :-(

Just needed to vent.


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 101 | Registered: Dec 2013
veronique12
♀ Member
Member # 42185
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My MC characterizes post-A injuries as injuries of attachment and this seems to fit, at least for me. Pre-A we trusted that when our spouse left our sight, s/he would still exist to us as they usually did (loyal, committed). This is much like how a toddler learns to trust that mom still exists and is still mom when she is in another room. The A changed that and there is increased anxiety about what we took for granted before. Of course you're edgy, even though his cheating is not related to the military and he won't be around eligible women. You can't see him and so you don't feel that connection to him. Is there any way that he can Skype with you or connect with you in other ways to help with this?


BW: me (38)
WH: 43
OW: false "friend"
D-Day: 11/29/13 (4 month EA discovered); 12/19/13 (discovered was also PA); TT thru 2/14
Married: 2001; Together for nearly 20 years
2 beautiful young kids

Posts: 495 | Registered: Jan 2014
aero1122
♀ Member
Member # 41575
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, June 27th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He will be out in the woods training for 12 of the days he is there so no possibility of Skype. I will get a few phone calls or text messages but that is all.

Your analogy makes perfect sense to me. That is just how I feel.


Me-35
WH-36
Together 18 years
Married 7 years
2 kids
D-day 12-7-13
Both currently in counseling
Trying to R

I am a warrior!
I will survive and thrive!


Posts: 101 | Registered: Dec 2013
Topic Posts: 3

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