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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Someone just hold my hand...
myheadreallyhurt
♀ Member
Member # 36424
Default  Posted: 9:11 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So he moved into his apartment 2 weeks ago in order to do what he calls his experiment. He wants to see how hefeels wwithout me and the kids. He has been breaking NC for a few months now but hadn't actually physically cheated on me in about a year. He flew OW in tonight. They're at my favorite store that I used to take him to. I feel so sick and dirty. He came last night. Told me he loved me, had sex with me, then left. Now he's with her, right this second and iI feel so sick. I just need a hug or something.


"See that no one repays another evil with evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another"

Posts: 133 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
meplusfour
♀ Member
Member # 38958
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((myheadreallyhurt))

I'm so sorry, my heart breaks for you. Gently, he is showing you who he truly is and what his words mean. For your own sake and the sake of your children, you must detach and protect yourself. You know what you need to do, you deserve so much better.

Sending you grace, dignity and strength.


BW (me)42
WH 44
3 daughters, 1 son
Married 10 years, together 13
DDay 3/14/2013, four year PA
In R
"Sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be."

Posts: 392 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
myheadreallyhurt
♀ Member
Member # 36424
Default  Posted: 9:37 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm really trying and my awesome therapist is trying but iI am so deep in the throes of codependency it's hard. In starting al anon meetings this next week. He's a recovering alcoholic and a not so recovering sex addict. His addiction counselor has not helped curb the behavior at all.


"See that no one repays another evil with evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another"

Posts: 133 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Badhurt
♂ Member
Member # 41947
Default  Posted: 9:41 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please do yourself a favor and detach from this man. Do not provide his with any more sex or any comfort and you will feel better. You should tell him YOU have decided the result of his experiment and that that result is that he needs to sign a long term lease on his apartment because he is not moving back in with you.
See an attorney and find out your rights ASAP and document what he is doing, including saving written communication.
You will feel better that you have regained your dignity.
He does not deserve you

Posts: 1097 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Eastern USA
lilacs40
♀ Member
Member # 31314
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just sending a hug and prayer for strength to do what you need to do.


I wish I could just stop I know another moment will break my heart too many tears too many time too many years I've cried over you

Posts: 360 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: IL
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((myheadreallyhurt)))))

We're here holding your hand, and sending strength.

Taking her to your favorite store is low.

More hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5528 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

I'm so sorry.

Please don't have sex with this man again. It is keeping you tied into him emotionally. You must detach and save yourself from any further pain.

He's cake eating.

CLOSE the bakery!

You AND your children deserve better than what he's giving you right now.

kick his ass to the curb.

Do you have an attorney?


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Jomarion
♀ Member
Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 7:30 PM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Myheadreallyhurts, he is being a total slob and uncaring of you and your feelings. Take back your power. How DARE he be so callous and abusive of your feelings. I am co-dependent and struggling in similar ways, so I understand the agony - my WBF took the OW to our 'special town', and bought her a present, the same he bought for me, with me actually there in the store begging him not to hurt me and buy it!! Sounds like this guy is of the same cut: insensitive, cruel, and cold. (Experiment? Experiment using your love??? How dare he?? Your love is not like a frog to be dissected)
Makes me want to
I hope I have not spoken too strongly and hurt you further.

Try your best to look after YOURSELF. You deserve better.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 192 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 8

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