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Newest Member: Basia52 (45745)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: So, where is your husband?
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, June 28th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, where is your husband?
I dunno... with his girlfriend?

I have been asked this question by at least 3 different people while out and about with DD. I think at least one was trying to do the "is she attached?" (not-so) subtle question. But OMG is that freaking awkward?

Way to assume, guys. I am never going to figure out this new world order.

I reply "No... no husband" and hold up my un-ringed left hand.

I wear NO rings on any finger. No mistakes. Just do a (not-so) subtle glance at my left hand. I don't mind.

But please, for the love of God, don't make me answer awkward questions about my kid's sperm contributor.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 498 | Registered: Nov 2013
newlysingle
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:36 AM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I proudly say "I don't have one".


BW - Me (38)
XWH -The Gnat
OW - Hello Kitty the Whore Engaged to the Gnat. I hear the white trash, wedding bells as we speak.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (7), 1 DS (2)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 960 | Registered: Mar 2013
latebloomer45
♀ Member
Member # 18021
Default  Posted: 1:03 AM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Or, as one SI member used to have in her signature-
"I dumped him because I didn't like his girlfriend."

(Maybe not in front of DD)


Me: BS 52
Him: FWS 54
Married 28 years
Son-22 Daughter-19,
D-Day #1 12/11/2007
D-Day #2 5/23/2008 fucking trickle truth!
Whatever Threnody said, I concur.


Posts: 2096 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Chicago suburbs
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 2:42 AM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I get asked this a lot too. I think they think it's a cute way of asking if we are single. I don't like it either.

I DO NOT suggest responding with:
Hopefully in a ditch somewhere getting pecked to death by magpies.
It illicits a rather nervous laugh.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5658 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
luv2swim
♀ Member
Member # 13154
Default  Posted: 2:48 AM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My answer:
"You know, I loved my husband. But honestly, I did not love his mistress. So... we are now divorced. Comprende?"


Me: BS
Him: NPD WS
Married 24 years
incredible kids
D day: 2006 ... he left to live with OW.
Divorced: 2009
WS + OW: Married 2011

Posts: 357 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: US
ImEnoughForMe
♀ Member
Member # 41869
Default  Posted: 7:56 AM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've got this too. I don't know if it's a good thing for me or not, but my ex used to "fish" for information - I got real good at recognizing it AND ignoring it. It's continued on without him.

Ask me straight out or you don't get an answer.


Do the best you can do until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. - Maya Angelou

Posts: 74 | Registered: Jan 2014
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I DO NOT suggest responding with:
Hopefully in a ditch somewhere getting pecked to death by magpies.

Maybe if I want the person to go away

I do like the ignore it unless you ask directly approach.


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 498 | Registered: Nov 2013
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I DO NOT suggest responding with:
Hopefully in a ditch somewhere getting pecked to death by magpies.

We think alike, SBB. I have been known to say, "Dying by the side of the road somewhere, if there is any justice."

Once this prompted a lecture on how horrible I would feel if she really did die. I probably only made things worse when I said that I'd love to test that theory.

Seriously, they expect a warm, mature response from someone who is divorcing?


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after 17 year marriage, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 2157 | Registered: Jan 2013
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Flew de coup".

People can do what they will with the response.

Often said with baby in hand.


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2366 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't been asked this yet, so I'm taking notes for future reference.

I'd like to humbly suggest the following..

"I don't know. Where's your wife?" or "With your wife."

"Don't know, don't care."

"I invoke my 5th amendment right not to incriminate myself."


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1969 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, June 29th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I probably only made things worse when I said that I'd love to test that theory.

After the nervous laughter I have been scolded for incriminating myself in case something bad does happen to him. I laughed and said I'll be suspect Número Uno no matter what I do so why not have a laugh?

I don't actually wish him death. But if it happens and magpies are involved at least he'll have an ironic death. I'd also be more careful with this superpower in future.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5658 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Plinker77
♂ New Member
Member # 43901
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know it's awkward. Hope it gets better.

Posts: 27 | Registered: Jun 2014
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On the positive side....at least they are checking to see if there is a husband before hitting on you.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2249 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
libertyrocks
♀ Member
Member # 38924
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It depends, if it's a friend I haven't seen in a while, I tell them we've been seperated. If they inquire more, I just tell them straight out. If it's his extended family, I just tell them "he's at work." haha Because there's really no difference. I used to go to all his family events without him anyways.

[This message edited by libertyrocks at 4:36 PM, June 30th (Monday)]


Me-BW 36. STBXH-35,Recovering Alcoholic, M6yrs T13. Boys 2 & 4 1/2.
DDay #1 Nov,2012. 1 1/2 year false R & TT. 10 OW PA's 1LTA (W lied to) 3 years.
S Nov, 2013 again Jan,2014
Filed for D Feb,2014.

Posts: 962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: So Cal, baby. :)
PhantomLimb
♀ Member
Member # 39668
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep getting hit on by boys in their 20s for some reason. Three this week. They always say the same two things: "I didn't realize you are in your 30s" (mid-30s at that!) and then "How is it that you're not married?"

It's the first time I've been getting that last question. It really has shocked me! All I've been able to answer is "I was. It didn't work out." That has usually been a conversation killer, thankfully.


BS / D

Posts: 863 | Registered: Jun 2013
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PL, I am fond of rolling my eyes and saying, "Oh god, I used to be, thank GOODNESS I got rid of him!" when I get asked why I'm not married by someone whose business it's not.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13871 | Registered: Jul 2011
Sadmumma
♀ Member
Member # 42192
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I say "he's not with us any more" or "its just me and the girls"


On any given day you have the power to say "my story is not going to end like this"
Me 41 BS
Him 41 WH
6 kids...7 weeks, 5,7,9,11&13
D day jan 29th 2014

Posts: 536 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Land down under
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:31 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish they would just ask.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5546 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
ManBearDivorce
♂ Member
Member # 36258
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me I think just the way you look and feel tells a lot about yourself. When I first went out I was miserable and most people assumed I was still married. Fast forward 2 years and people don't even bother to ask but assume I am single because I have a nice big smile on my stinking face!!!!

Posts: 342 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: St.Paul Minnesota
Sleepingbeauty
♀ Member
Member # 43792
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This hasn't happened yet. I am still trying to tan the line and fatten my finger up so the mark doesn't show anymore. Twenty+years has left a definite mark.

I am looking forward to the first one who asks that question. Still have to think of the answer bu may keep some of these in mind.


Posts: 333 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: East coast
Topic Posts: 21
Pages: 1 · 2

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