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Newest Member: Tryin2staykewl (45320)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Ownership of feelings
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Our emotional experience is a direct expression of our identity. When we know who we are, we know how we feel and why we feel that way. We CHOOSE our emotional reality based on our truth. This is the result of diligent mindfulness. Too often, we abandon ourselves to embrace someone else's emotional reality. We give up our power and defer responsibility to others for our feelings.

Holy shit. This seems to put into exact words the journey I have been on for the last four years. And where I am ending up right now. I am finally identifying with who I AM. And I base it in my truth. Awesome stuff MJ


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5051 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When we know who we are, we know how we feel and why we feel that way. We CHOOSE our emotional reality based on our truth

this is also meaningful to me... So many times I have others' voices in my head when in fact, my own is just as good. I need to live MY truth, and no one else's. I need to stop abandoning myself.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.


Posts: 5242 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
20WrongsVs1
♀ Member
Member # 39000
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Rachelc, I'm hardly a philosopher, but what the quote means to me is that our responses to external stimuli aren't involuntary. Take those British soldiers who stand guard outside Buckingham Palace for example. Tourists take great pleasure in shouting in their faces, but are unable to provoke a response.

We truly can train ourselves to react with compassion instead of fear or anger, e.g. Antoinette Tuff.


fWW: 42
BH: 52
DDay: April 21, 2013
Sweet DS & fierce DD, under 10
"Between stimulus and response there’s a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom." V. Frankl

Posts: 1229 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Redneck land
somethingremorse
♂ Member
Member # 42047
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MJ --

Your original post really hits home with me. I need to own my feelings and my reactions to those feelings. I need to understand what is happening around me, and know I can chose the way I react to those things.

Too often before I'd withdraw and justify it by blaming everyone around me. Or I'd overreact to minor things around me. I can control my reactions to all of those things around me.

To a very large extent, I can control my feelings, too. For example, when I get stuck cleaning up the kitchen at 11:30 PM (like last night), I used to feel upset and unappreciated and the like. Now I relize that I have more energy than BW, and when I do things it is because I want to, not because I am being ignored. I can control my feelings in situations like that.


Me: WH (42)
DDay 11/03/13
In MC and IC

Posts: 616 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Pennsylvania
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 9:00 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TG:
I am finally identifying with who I AM. And I base it in my truth.
I am on the same journey - isn't it an amazing feeling?
I need to live MY truth, and no one else's. I need to stop abandoning myself.
You said it yourself and I wholeheartedly agree.
Too often before I'd withdraw and justify it by blaming everyone around me.
I am guilty of this too. It happens but once you have the awareness of it, things can and do change. I am glad my post helped.


FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 5969 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
BrokenButTrying
♀ Member
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am finally identifying with who I AM. And I base it in my truth.

Me too!

I need to live MY truth, and no one else's. I need to stop abandoning myself.

I have done this for years and years. It's a hard habit to break.

Too often before I'd withdraw and justify it by blaming everyone around me.

I'm guilty of this too.


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - 01/10 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1235 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 26
Pages: 1 · 2

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