Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: betterneverlate (44986)

Off Topic Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I was assaulted
MissesJai
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 9:17 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG Razzie!!!! I am so glad your instincts kicked and you acted like a running back trying to get through the defensive line during a football game.

Thank you for sharing this and really, I am sooooo glad you are okay. How are you feeling today?


FWW - 41
Fawk you.....pay me!

Posts: 5914 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
Bigger
♂ Member
Member # 8354
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jrazz SO VERY GLAD YOU ARE SAFE!!!

Great that you had the drive to push him away and rush out. Great reaction on your part.

Just one suggestion: If you ever (and God forbid) get into a similar situation then shout out
Im Jrazz! Im a SI-Guide and we dont take ANY shit from ANYONE!!


"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

Posts: 5556 | Registered: Sep 2005
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry this happened. I'm so glad you're ok.


((((Jrazz))))


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,10
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7437 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Too bad you didn't get to dump some finger nail polish remover in his eyes.

I was kind of hoping that would happen TBH.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6744 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Weatherly
♀ Member
Member # 18222
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((Jrazz))))))))

I understand, more than I wish I did. I'm glad you are ok and safe.


Me-29,Two boys, 10 and 8

It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end

Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.


Posts: 4487 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: Indiana
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

J,

First, I'm so glad your instincts were solid here. I think your intelligence and courage really served you well on Friday.

I'm glad you're looking for an IC. This may not have turned out to be as bad as some other trauma in the not very distant past, but it's still a trauma, nonetheless. Doing a good job under high stress is one thing. Dealing with the feelings that came with the high stress is also important.

It sounds like you know this, but keep in mind, this was about him, not about you. There's no justification for his actions.

To everyone else:

This happened in a fairly new, probably well run chain store. They advertise heavily, but they're not a low-price outlet. The store is in the middle of a neighborhood that prices out at least as average to above average for the Chicago area.

You can be assaulted no matter where you are.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10110 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so glad you were able to escape that situation. How incredibly frightening! I also have had a male intrude into a public restroom. There was another woman in the restroom with me; I think that kept my situation from becoming anything more than a peeping tom incident.

Please find a counselor to talk this out with. (((Jrazz)))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7813 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Joanh
♀ Member
Member # 39146
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh My, That would have been so scary and invasive, please continue to take care.


BH 39
WW 43
D day November 9, 2012
3 children 22, 8, 6
Just....

Posts: 435 | Registered: Apr 2013
plainsong
♀ Member
Member # 37826
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry this happened to you in our city. You handled it magnificently - I'm so glad you were able to use your core strength and your assertiveness to push past him and get out. For others who have had this kind of experience, fight and flight are two reactions to trauma, but so are freeze and going limp. All are the body's way of protecting us the best it knows how in any given situation. Sending good thoughts to all who have experienced similar assault or intrusion into their sacred space.


Me,WW,69;
Him,BH,70 - Happy Birthday!
Dday,12/22/2010
I use capital letters for emphasis, not yelling!

Posts: 70 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Chicago area
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fight and flight are two reactions to trauma, but so are freeze and going limp.

This is so incredibly true. I was rehashing with Crazz this morning, and I found myself recounting things that had happened in the miliseconds between action.

The impulse to go limp was very strong. I don't consider it a weakness at all - it was a physical response that my brain and body were seriously considering and I had almost no say in the matter.

It didn't occur to me for one second to hurl nail polish remover at him because involving tools meant strategy and there was almost no space for that. If I had had a plan PRIOR to the encounter, I may have enacted it, but I had nothing. I had frozen terror and physical instinct. I'm no hero for getting out, I'm lucky as hell.

I like that this is turning into a message of self-defense and awareness. It was a very nice neighborhood that I hope to return to someday. I'm not going to let one jackass keep me at home in the dark, but I will definitley be looking over my shoulder more often. Jiu-jitsu is also sounding good right now. Seriously.


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17380 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You did exactly what you needed to do to get yourself safe and that was the perfect response.

It angers me that so many women here have similar experiences.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6744 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Chrysalis123
♀ Member
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Holy cow....that had to have been really frightening. I am glad you are OK.


Dont get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.

Posts: 2682 | Registered: Jan 2010
Crescita
♀ Member
Member # 32616
Default  Posted: 12:14 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So glad you are safe now. (((Jrazz)))

Posts: 3388 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: The Valley of the Sun
abbycadabby
♀ Member
Member # 27428
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((JRazz)))

So glad you're okay and that you followed your instincts. So many times those of us who have been subjected to sexual abuse kinda freeze when facing new threats. You didn't do that, which I think is just amazing. You are so brave.

I'm still very sorry for this experience and for that of little JRazz. I agree with other suggestions to follow up with IC.

ETA: I hadn't read all the responses but it looks like freeze response had already been covered.

[This message edited by abbycadabby at 12:39 PM, July 1st (Tuesday)]


Posts: 1252 | Registered: Feb 2010
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Jrazz))

OMG...that's so terrifying. so glad your instincts led you down the path to safety!!!


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future. -foulton oursler


Posts: 8440 | Registered: Apr 2008
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 12:51 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How scary! I am so glad you are okay. I also operate on the assumption I will always be safe...hard to be reminded it isn't so but it's important to be aware too.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4173 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
TrulyReconciled
♂ Member
Member # 3031
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jiu-jitsu is also sounding good right now. Seriously.

I believe everyone should know at least some rudimentary self-defense. Simple releases from attempted holds and strikes to vital areas plus the sensibility to know when you need to do that should be taught to everyone. Jiu-jitsu isn't the easiest one either.

I only ever had to hit someone in self-defense once ... and one punch ended the encounter.

[This message edited by TrulyReconciled at 1:00 PM, July 1st (Tuesday)]


"In a time of deceit, telling the Truth is a revolutionary act."

Posts: 21133 | Registered: Dec 2003 | From: Hell and back, way back :o)
JustDone
♀ Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 12:58 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just read this, saw the other thread you inspired in General. I'm very thankful you escaped!

((((Jrazz))))


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2788 | Registered: Feb 2006
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG.

Just glad you are OK. That had to be terrifying. I carry a small taser in my purse...

As a college student working alone in a strip mall clothing store...I remember looking up and out the window because something caught my eye.

There was a man masturbating at me.

I too, froze. He was just...watching me. *shudder*

It probably took me 20 seconds to reach over and grab the phone to call 911, but it felt like forever. He left before the police arrived.

I've also heard about children being assaulted in bathrooms...I always wait outside the bathroom and tell my kids to not talk to strangers and start yelling if they are uncomfortable.

Uggg. So glad you are OK.


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4146 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 1:16 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW. I am speechless.

So very happy that you are ok


Posts: 1383 | Registered: Jan 2010
Topic Posts: 142
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8

Return to Forum: Off Topic Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.