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User Topic: I was assaulted
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Jrazz)))

Thank you for posting about this.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5094 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So thankful to hear you're OK, Jrazz. That is so horrible.

You are so brave! It takes a lot of courage to run, and not freeze. I am inspired by and in awe of you! And so very thankful you're safe.

I hope they catch that bastard so he won't ever do it again.

((((((((((Jrazz)))))))))))


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3911 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
livewithhope
♀ New Member
Member # 41910
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jrazz! I would've never have known that this happened. I am glad that you got away! You seemed really composed on Friday.

Posts: 2 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Illinois
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, lwh. We had some triage just before the bulk of the group arrived, and I took breaks that I hoped nobody noticed.

Honestly, the SI G2G's are like getting together with the best of family. You were a part of a group that made me feel safe that night, so thanks goes to you along with the others.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17909 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
doggiediva
♀ Member
Member # 33806
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Razz)))))
You definitely are the winner! You thought quickly and on your feet with your adrenaline surging thru you..
I also want to caution women not to answer somebody knocking at their door when at home ...Especially when tired or distracted..Don't even open the door to the police unless there is a search warrant..

[This message edited by doggiediva at 4:17 PM, July 1st (Tuesday)]


Don't tie your happiness to the tail of somebody else's kite

Posts: 1271 | Registered: Nov 2011
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 4:36 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great point, doggiediva. Actually, Crazz and I are installing chain locks tonight. Long overdue.

Stepping outside myself for a moment and observing my behavior over the last few days, I'm noticing a lot of manic jumps. I will be able to enjoy myself and be giddy, and later get caught in a memory loop of what happened.

I wonder if I should be concerned that I seem to be handling this too well? Friday night I was kindof in a trance, but when I go into "work" mode I'm able to move through most things. It was fun to meet people and share wine from my work - I honestly enjoyed that, but then I look back and it all looks like a dream a little bit.

I know, something to talk over with a new IC. I'm looking in earnest tomorrow.

I'm also wondering if anyone has after-the-fact experience with talking to the police? This is going to be especially tricky considering I'm so far away from where it happened. I have to admit I'm starting to feel shame and guilt for not sticking around to give a report. Without my word how on earth would they have been able to arrest him?


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17909 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Jeaniegirl
♀ Member
Member # 6370
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

JRazz, incidents like this stay with you. You can turn it into a positive by knowing now that you need to always be 'aware' of your surroundings.

When my daughter was a baby, my washer was broken and I had to go to the laundry a few miles from my house. Left daughter at home with her Dad, thank goodness. As I was putting my laundry in my car, I just had the feeling I was being watched. Sure enough, a man came out from around the corner of the building and he was exposing himself to me, all the while walking towards me. I had sense enough to get in the car and start it and then he was trying to get in the driver's door, to get at me. I put the car in reverse and ran over his foot. He yelled. I did not have a cell phone at the time so I drove home and called the police and we went back to the scene. Of course he was gone but the police checked hospital ER's and sure enough, he showed up for treatment. I followed through and testified against him and since he was already on probation, he was sent away for 5 years. His past history included stalking, attempted rape and assault and battery. He was hunting that night and I feel he would have really hurt me had he got control of my car.

After that I became SO aware of my surroundings at all times. Just because a place is well-lit and even with people around, we aren't always safe.

Edited to add: The pervert had a crushed foot and had to have surgery and pins put in his foot. Those older Buicks were heavy cars!

[This message edited by Jeaniegirl at 4:39 PM, July 1st (Tuesday)]


"Because I deserve better"

Posts: 993 | Registered: Feb 2005
gahurts
♂ Member
Member # 33699
Default  Posted: 5:23 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so glad you are OK JRazz and very impressed with how you handled the situation. I agree with the poster who would have liked to have seen you pour nail polish remover into his eyes but what you did was the best and smartest thing.

The fact that you were able to have a good time with everyone afterwards shows how strong you've become.


"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indominable will" - Mahatma Gandi

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - Aubrie


Posts: 3443 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Georgia
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((((((jrazz))))))))))))
Another hug my dear friend.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 45041 | Registered: Sep 2006
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The fact that you were able to have a good time with everyone afterwards shows how strong you've become.

Part of it is due to things I've been through in my life, but I have to reiterate that being with my SI family, and alerting the staff almost immediately after it happening and having their support.. well, I can never repay the community for the power of healing I've gained here.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17909 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doode. Cheezus. I'm shaking for you just reading this. Just hold still. That makes me want to puke.

Like you, I tend to act impervious. I had an experience a couple years ago that shook me up and I was very lucky. It is terrifying to see how your world can be altered in the blink of an eye.

I so glad you are ok. It feels stupid to say that, but so. Glad. ((big hugs)


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6581 | Registered: Jan 2011
isadora
♀ Member
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 8:02 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jrazz, I am so glad you are ok, what a horrible experience. I lived in Chicago for 17 years and I am so sorry you had to encounter a poor excuse for a human being.


Me: BW Him: WH
Married: 12 yrs
2 DDs and DSs all under 10
2 Affairs - 2010 year long PA/EA, 2008 2 month online EA
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.


Posts: 4509 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
Skan
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Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good job. Really. Good job. You're a winner. If you can get away, you win. Those are the only victory conditions that matter getting away.

Call the police closest to the CVS. Explain what happened and ask if a report was filed by someone in the store. Add your report to it, or start one of your own. I guarantee that if you let the police know that you were so frightened that all you could think of was to get away, they will understand. They see, unfortunately, this sort of crap all of the time.

Me? I rarely go anywhere without a weapon of some sort. One that I'm willing to use. If I go use a potty at the end of a hall, I'll search the bathroom quickly, then lock the front door before I go into a stall. And I have the snarl of death and fanatic crazy-eyes look down. You just can't let down your guard. From this point on, I daresay that you won't, and you'll start looking at places that might be trouble with new eyes. And that's a good thing, a safe thing for you. (((hugs))) I'm so glad that you did what you needed to get away.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4962 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
jrc1963
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Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just saw this... boy am I glad you got away safely!!!

Excellent survival skills.

(((Jrazz)))


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24601 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all for your kindness. I know this isn't an easy topic to post about and it's a true sign of friendship and compassion that you have taken the time to reach out to me.

I want to reiterate that freezing up or giving in isn't failing or losing. It's fucked and the person who victimizes others is the loser.

Love and good thoughts to you all.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17909 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 11:59 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First and foremost, just want to reiterate the others, so glad you are safe and sorry you went through that.
I'm noticing a lot of manic jumps. I will be able to enjoy myself and be giddy, and later get caught in a memory loop of what happened.

This is very normal and part of the PTSD you will have for a little while. You are doing the right thing by seeking out counseling
I wonder if I should be concerned that I seem to be handling this too well?

Yes and no. The body has a way of dealing with this stress. The normal routine of things is nice and familiar and comforting. It's like a certain part of the brain takes over when necessary to give a victim relief from the incident for a little while. It's also partly shock. Just make sure you have snacks and water handy for a few weeks. Sugar and fluids help prevent shock.
I'm also wondering if anyone has after-the-fact experience with talking to the police?

I do. Just go in and do your best. Don't beat yourself up if you cannot remember things immediately. Sometimes the mind shuts down. Oftentimes, it will come to you later and they will assign a PI for the case. You can always call her/him back later with remembered information.
FTR I was attacked and fought my way out of being raped. I had to go in after the fact and give a full report. Definitely take your H or close friend for support.
Again, so glad you are safe and relatively unharmed!


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2342 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
brokengirl37
♀ Member
Member # 42530
Default  Posted: 12:41 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Jrazz)))))

I just came to read this thread. Wow. So glad that you ok.


Me: 38
WH : 40
2 Boys Age 10, 13
D-Day Feb 16 2014
OW: My Co-worker

Posts: 71 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Canada
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I do. Just go in and do your best. Don't beat yourself up if you cannot remember things immediately. Sometimes the mind shuts down. Oftentimes, it will come to you later and they will assign a PI for the case. You can always call her/him back later with remembered information.
FTR I was attacked and fought my way out of being raped. I had to go in after the fact and give a full report. Definitely take your H or close friend for support.

I can't go in. I'm in CA and this took place in IL so I will have to call. Mergh.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17909 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Mama_of_3_Kids
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Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Jrazz)))


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11586 | Registered: Dec 2009
Newlease
♀ Member
Member # 7767
Default  Posted: 8:13 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It took me awhile to respond because I had a physical reaction when I read your first post. It is so sad that so many women have had to deal with this kind of danger in their lives. Things you think you are "over" can come back to you quickly when you read or hear about someone else being victimized. I can't even watch movies that have rape in them. I have to leave the room.

I'm very proud of you. You got yourself out of danger and yelled your head off until someone called the police. THAT IS AWESOME! And even if they didn't have enough to take him in, at the very least now the store is alerted to his behavior and he will be watched closely or even banned from going in there. That is a victory!

Sending strength and peace.

NL

[This message edited by Newlease at 9:54 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday)]


Even if you can't control the world around you, you are still the master of your own soul.

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