Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Sadmw (45324)

General Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is he capable of love?
Blanket
♀ Member
Member # 43881
What?  Posted: 8:16 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have mentioned in previous posts that my H has insecurity issues with himself. Despite a flashy persona put on for the rest of the world deep down he doesn't really like himself. I read frequently that if someone can't love them selves they are never really capable of loving another- is this true?
And if he doesn't fix these gaps in his character will he always be vulnerable to an A? :


D day 20th may 2014
Me -BS (33)
HIM- WS (35)
OW- 18 yr old COW
Together 7 years, married 1

I can't tell if it's killing me or making me stronger


Don't kick me when I'm down because when I get back up you are f****d!


Posts: 75 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Uk
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi blanket. In my experience this is true. Long story as to why I'm here on SI, but has to do with my NPD mom and her A. She could never make herself happy. We as a family could never make her happy. However, she's full blown NPD so nothing about her will ever change. That said, your husband most likely isn't. Yes, he needs to get to the bottom of how to live a self fulfilled happier existence. Nothing you ever do or don't do can help him with that. That's something he needs to figure out on his own. For that very reason, if he had an A, not fixing himself and figuring out why he's not happy in life, IMHO leave him susceptible to another A. He'll always be looking to fill that void within himself with something.

Sending you strength blanket.

yop


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2184 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How does he feel about your pain?
My h will probably never be a really happy guy. Bt he is better than he was,. I think he was shocked at how much he hurt me. He could cheat again, but I don't feel like he will.

So, I think it really depends on what your gut is telling ou and how much remorse he has.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Blanket
♀ Member
Member # 43881
Default  Posted: 8:57 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Pent up. I think my pain is too much for him to deal with - so he doesn't really. He's sorry and full of regret but not what I'd call remorse.

Thanks yearsofpain. That's what I thought.


D day 20th may 2014
Me -BS (33)
HIM- WS (35)
OW- 18 yr old COW
Together 7 years, married 1

I can't tell if it's killing me or making me stronger


Don't kick me when I'm down because when I get back up you are f****d!


Posts: 75 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Uk
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum: General Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.