"What God has joined together, let man... no man put asunder" -Pastor at our wedding concluding the ceremony
2 Cor 12:9-10
But right now, if it is heartfelt, it means everything to me to still hear it.
On the other hand, when it is empty or going through the motions, it hurts.
BH (Me) 49
D-Day Mar 19, 2014
1 year passionate EA/PA, ended by me on d-day.
Attempting to R
In the first few months I wanted the words, but after the shock wore off I needed to see the "I am sorry" in action.
What did mean something? Actions. When his behaviors changed, and saw him healing himself, I knew he was sorry and full of remorse for what he did to us. I also was happy to hear that his goal was to heal us, heal himself, and make me laugh every day (which he does). That meant more than sorry. It meant the actions changed and it wouldn't happen again. It meant he was doing the work.
He isn't a really verbal emotions kind of guy either, and I knew this. I needed reassurance, that he was happy with his choice, I needed to know he didn't have regrets in regard to his family, kids, and me. When I did need to hear the sorry from him, I would get it, if I asked for it, but it was rarely offered up on it's own.
I will say that sorry was hard to hear early on. I would think, sorry? Are you kidding? If you're sorry, then why do it in the first place? It was just hurtful to hear., and felt insincere.
Now, it feels sincere. It is backed up by actions, and it helps me when I am hurting.
What doesn't kill me, scars me.