Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: hurtingnTN (44890)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: So lost....
yme32313
♀ Member
Member # 42091
Default  Posted: 9:55 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been 10 months since Dday and I thought I was doing better but for these past few days. I can't let go of anything and continue to cry. Were others like this? Or is it just me?


Me: 31
H: 55
Dated: Aug. 2003 M: Mar. 2013
Cheated: While dating

Posts: 179 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New Mexico
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Healing is not a linear process--it is cyclical. As you continue processing, the downs will still come, just not as often and for shorter durations. Remind yourself that the upswings will still come too and that even the pain you are feeling is part of the journey forward.

(((yme)))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4139 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Landoes
♂ Member
Member # 40222
Default  Posted: 10:23 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a little over a year since d day, and these past two weeks gave been rough. But nothing like it was before. Trust me, it gets better

Posts: 70 | Registered: Aug 2013
steppingup
♂ Member
Member # 42650
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everyone is different, but it can take years to resolve the feelings. It all depends on how loving and remorseful your spouse was. The less helpful they are the less healing will happen. God bless you.


Her (WW 40s) Me (BH, 40s) very young DS & DD

“Whatever follows after DD is much more crucial than the infidelity action itself” Quote by SI Member Melian40

"I'm a good man, not an option" - Steppingup


Posts: 406 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: CALI
Dawn58
♀ Member
Member # 37656
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It has surprised me how long this process takes, with all the ups and downs. At ten months, I laughed for the first time. I stilled cried and felt angry and so much pain.

I am a year and a half out now, going through the divorce. I can say that I have moments when I am happy, the tears are fewer and farther between. I still feel angry but also feel that I am letting go.
I relish the freedom in my life now and exploring who I am. I still feel lost at times but am enjoying the discovery process.

I have found that the ups and downs are still there, but not as frequently. I don't get stuck in the downswing as long. I am looking forward to the day when I don't have a single thought about the affair or him.


I got into the marriage, because I loved him. I got out of the marriage, because I love me.

Posts: 468 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Southern California
yme32313
♀ Member
Member # 42091
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He feels bad for what he did but he wants to move forward.

He says that it was in the past and we weren't even married.

It just hurts to think that he did to me and I have no idea how long he did this to me.

For me to get accused of seeing someone else and he's doing it, is what hurts. I ended my friendship with this friend because of his jealousy only to find out he was hurting me all this time.


Me: 31
H: 55
Dated: Aug. 2003 M: Mar. 2013
Cheated: While dating

Posts: 179 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New Mexico
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What he is really saying is that he wants to rugsweep. If rugsweeping happens, real healing can't. It i still hard when you are dealing with everything in the open, but at least it's being addressed. If you jut brush this all aside as in the past, it will only fester. So, is he able to step up and actively work on healing you and the M?


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4139 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
yme32313
♀ Member
Member # 42091
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's so hard Norabird he doesn't want to own up to anything nor does he want to talk about what he's done. Saying we weren't married and was so long ago.


Me: 31
H: 55
Dated: Aug. 2003 M: Mar. 2013
Cheated: While dating

Posts: 179 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New Mexico
Plinker77
♂ New Member
Member # 43901
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't let it make you miserable. take back control of yourself if you can ( I know it's easier said than done). Praying that you get better!

Posts: 27 | Registered: Jun 2014
yme32313
♀ Member
Member # 42091
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How can I get over all of this?


Me: 31
H: 55
Dated: Aug. 2003 M: Mar. 2013
Cheated: While dating

Posts: 179 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New Mexico
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Find a therapist for YOU. Take care of yourself and know that you can be as strong as you have to be.


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 562 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
yme32313
♀ Member
Member # 42091
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seems every IC I have seen either tell me to leave him or say well you weren't married at the time so you should get over it.


Me: 31
H: 55
Dated: Aug. 2003 M: Mar. 2013
Cheated: While dating

Posts: 179 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New Mexico
WeepingBuddhist
♀ Member
Member # 39139
Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

well, the ones who are saying you should leave him get my vote, but really, you have to figure out what will help you be happy. Is this the relationship you want AS IT IS?


Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

Posts: 562 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Columbus
yme32313
♀ Member
Member # 42091
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We're married now...I found this out after we got married. Had I known before I would have left. I did make my vow to God to be married to this man.


Me: 31
H: 55
Dated: Aug. 2003 M: Mar. 2013
Cheated: While dating

Posts: 179 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New Mexico
outtanowhere
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You made a commitment based on lies and deceit. It's honorable that you want to be true to your vows but, really you didn't know what you were truly getting into. You can now be true to yourself and admit that it just might be a deal breaker in the long run.

It hurts. All of it.


BS - 57
SAWH - 60 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 37 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 723 | Registered: Apr 2013
yme32313
♀ Member
Member # 42091
Default  Posted: 7:07 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He said he honors his vows as well and this is a commitment. Been with the man for 10 years. I'm just so hurt and confused.


Me: 31
H: 55
Dated: Aug. 2003 M: Mar. 2013
Cheated: While dating

Posts: 179 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New Mexico
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 7:12 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right there with you (((yme32313))). Be strong, my friend. It goes up and down. I am not as far as you, but feel the same thing. Today I hate his guts. Yesterday I loved him a lot. Ugh!


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 944 | Registered: Dec 2013
yme32313
♀ Member
Member # 42091
Default  Posted: 8:32 PM, July 1st (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

These little bits and pieces go up and then down. Feel I can't live without him then I feel I can. Why can't people just stay committed? ((Deena)) we really need to take it day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.


Me: 31
H: 55
Dated: Aug. 2003 M: Mar. 2013
Cheated: While dating

Posts: 179 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New Mexico
Topic Posts: 18

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.