Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: ChaosRider (45729)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Me again...
Numb2014
♀ Member
Member # 43919
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have lost 4lbs since Sunday. I still wake up sick. He sleeps with a smile on his face. The next 47 days cannot come fast enough...


BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

Posts: 233 | Registered: Jun 2014
strongerdaybyday
♀ Member
Member # 40264
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi there,

I'm sorry you're going through this. It must be hard to eat (i know for me it was). Can you handle even a meal supplement/replacement drink? To ensure you're getting nutrients/etc.

I'm not sure what's happening in the 47 days but I hope it's what you need to help you heal.

((HUGS))


Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 13+ years
D-Day Summer 2013
children-3
If it is what it is then what is it?

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**


Posts: 384 | Registered: Aug 2013
KeepCalm_CarryOn
♀ Member
Member # 33374
Default  Posted: 10:34 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's tough. I remember right after D-day, when I would see my husband sleeping peacefully, I just wanted to kick him!

Maybe do something special for youself today?


You are not dealing with rational people or situations. Normal thought processes won't work...story of my life.

Me- BW, 30
Him- fWh, 36
Mostly R'd, minus a few scars...bought a house and got a puppy...And baby makes 3! She arrived August 2013


Posts: 2043 | Registered: Sep 2011
seethelight
♀ Member
Member # 43513
Default  Posted: 10:40 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When I was going through the same anguish as you, awake all night and literally wasting away. My wayward was also sleeping like a baby.

When I confronted him about that, he said it was because he was glad it was over.

He was looking for a way to dump the OW, but she kept threatening to out him to me.

When he was already outed, it was easy for him to dump her because he never loved her. It was just an affair to him, and she initially insisted she only wanted an affair.

So maybe it's a good sign.


ďIf two people truly have feelings for one another then they donít have an affair. They get a divorce and they sort out their feelings. You are accountable for the people you hold hostage in a marriage when your mind and heart refuse to fully commit

Posts: 1516 | Registered: May 2014
Embers2Fire
♀ Member
Member # 25557
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Losing weight and not eating or sleeping is normal after this type of betrayal and trauma. I would see a doctor ASAP and get on some sleep aids. You have a difficult road ahead of you and some difficult decisions to make in the coming weeks, so having a fully rested mind and body is of utmost importance.My XWH also slept like a rock as if he had not a worry in the world. The best thing you can do is get something to help you rest from this nightmare that is now your life. I wish you all the best.


BS - me 49
XWH - him 48
DDay 05/08
Married 25 yrs, 2 sons 28/23
Divorced
2nd Marriage 11/1/13 livng the dream

God has breathed new life into me fanning my fading Embers into a brightly burning Fire.


Posts: 421 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: Land of the healed and home of the grateful
BlueBlueEyes
♀ Member
Member # 43949
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was the same for me. I felt like I was the crazy one and he could sleep! When I returned from Afghanistan, one of the counselors used the phrase, "it's a normal reaction to an ABNORMAL situation." I just kept telling myself, I'm reacting to an abnormal situation. You just found out. He's known all of this for a while.


BW - 49
WH - 50
Married 30 years
Beautiful Son, Daughter and 2 Grandsons.

OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.

Hopeful but cautious


Posts: 194 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Texas
Tigaress
♀ Member
Member # 43954
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't even know how you do it! The first thing I did when I found out was that I kicked the lying cheater out. Does he at least sleep on the couch? I think he has no right to the marital bed after what he has done. If you don't have a couch then he can sleep on the floor, that's still too good for him. And maybe that would help you to get some rest!

Posts: 183 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: New York
BlueBlueEyes
♀ Member
Member # 43949
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tigaress,
I kicked my husband out too. Then I prayed for two days and decided that if I wasn't completely positive it was over (and hesitant to make a life change during a crisis of emotion) we needed to try to be together and work on things. I did not say that I could handle it and did not commit to stay in the marriage until a month of communication had occured. There are still panic periods throughout the day and I'm 5 weeks out at this point.


BW - 49
WH - 50
Married 30 years
Beautiful Son, Daughter and 2 Grandsons.

OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.

Hopeful but cautious


Posts: 194 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Texas
Tigaress
♀ Member
Member # 43954
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have a big heart and you love the guy ... but I'm worried that he thinks you already forgave him? Honestly, if you are losing weight and feeling sick something is not right. I think he needs to move in the guest room (or the attic, or basement, you know where I'm coming from). I'm not a guy but what I've seen a lot is that they don't respect what they don't have to fight for. He seems to have gotten your forgiveness much too easily? Big hug for you, hope you're feeling better !!

Posts: 183 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: New York
Numb2014
♀ Member
Member # 43919
Default  Posted: 11:06 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have tried kicking him out of the marital bed. I've locked him out, etc, and he just beats on the door all night long. at this point, it was choose your battles. we sleep with a body pillow between us. I will post my whole story soon....


BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

Posts: 233 | Registered: Jun 2014
Sunnydaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 43756
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, July 2nd (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((numb))

Looking back, the only good part about the last two months is the weight loss...although it certainly isn't worth the physical toll. I find it amazing they can sleep peacefully while we are falling apart.

I have been reading your posts, so sorry for all of the pain he has put you through. Sending good thoughts your way, stay strong!!


Posts: 81 | Registered: Jun 2014
Topic Posts: 11

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.