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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: the other shoe dropped
Numb2014
♀ Member
Member # 43919
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So far, we had been getting along, I was crying in secret, etc. I finally told him that his move out date was "x" date and gave him a list of all of the items he came in to the house with and what he can leave the house with. He was LIVID. Said I have tried to control him our entire relationshiop, I have not say over him now, I cannot tell him what he leaves my house with etc. I don't understand his anger...he wants out. he told me he would be out. and now he is fighting me because I want it in writing and I am trying to protect me and my dd as far as what he thinks he will be taking with him. He basically told me he hates me and to trust him, he will be out as soon as he possible can.

Once he's out, I am praying that the dust will settle and he can just leave me alone, stop trying to make my life hell and just focus on making her life hell. He wanted out, so why does he have to keep kicking me while I am down???


BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

Posts: 233 | Registered: Jun 2014
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Because he is a controlling ass?


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4092 | Registered: Dec 2011
Numb2014
♀ Member
Member # 43919
Default  Posted: 10:25 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm working with him. I told him if he will tell me what day (no later than 30 days from now), then that is a starting point and we can hash everything else out. The way I am thinking, try to make the next 30 days as peaceful as possible. ONce he's out, I will not need to "work" with him anymore as we already have a custody agreement. So, I will work with him. He may think I am being a doormat still, but I need peace in my life for the next 30 days, and once he is out, out of sight, out of mind, unless we have drop off/pickup for the kids. I knwo he doesn't deserve it. I know he doesn't deserve my kindness. I KNOW THIS. But, I am a better person than him. I will show him kindness to the grave.


BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

Posts: 233 | Registered: Jun 2014
Badhurt
♂ Member
Member # 41947
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NUmb

This prick is just trying to be a true bastard. Do not back down on anything that you have a legal right to, and if necessary get an attorney. i would also try to have someone like a friend present when he is around to get his stuff for your own safety


Posts: 1097 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Eastern USA
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm confused. 2 days ago, the date was set - August 18th. Why is the date an issue again?

And for what it's worth, I don't think he's moving in with her. If he had a place to go he'd already be gone. If she's just waiting, why is he just sitting there? I think he's hoping YOU cave, and that's why he's asking for extra time, getting angry when you talk about it, etc.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Numb2014
♀ Member
Member # 43919
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Painfulpast-it's not necessarily an issue. He agreed mid aug. The issue for him is that I'm enforcing it and want it in writing vs doing an eviction. And that I'm telling him what he can take with him. I think he is moving I with her. She lives with her parents and is getting a job as a nurse so they have to save up money for an apartment. He can't get one on his own, he has terrible credit and will be filing bankruptcy in the next month or two. He has no choice but to move in with her.

[This message edited by Numb2014 at 10:58 AM, July 3rd (Thursday)]


BW-me (31)
WXH-him (30)
DD-4, DS-14
High school sweethearts. 14 years gone. He doesn't even care. It meant nothing to him.
False R-3/2011 to 6/2014
Found evidence going back 2 years. He's moving in with OW.

Posts: 233 | Registered: Jun 2014
k94ever
♀ Member
Member # 11176
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally I think Tred nailed it.


k9


BS: 56
WS: 53
Betrayed: 23 years
Affairs: 14 (2 lasted 3 months. Rest were ONS)
WS died: 16 May 2011
Do not stay in your hurt forever. Choose to move out of it.

Posts: 6614 | Registered: Jul 2006 | From: Wisconsin
Tigaress
♀ Member
Member # 43954
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hat off to you - I would NEVER have the patience and self-control to endure this for even a few days. If it was me, his crap would already be sitting in boxes outside the house and the locks would be changed. But you're doing the right thing, get him out peacefully but definitely get him out. He's a total parasite and he might be worried that he could get a bit less comfortable. I really like the idea to bring a friend along, ideally have a male friend stay with you for as long as possible? Or have friends take turns so that you never have to be alone with this person? You can do it and there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!!

Posts: 186 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: New York
Schadenfreude
♂ Member
Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, July 3rd (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not M advice but legal. It's worth the cost of a conference to make sure/ find out how you won't be somehow dragged Into his bankruptcy case. This means joint debts, a possible vindictive claim that some things,in your house are really his, etc.

You don't need more worries, but preparation for war is a key to avoiding war. One of the reasons Hitler never invaded neighboring Switzerland was that he knew by Swiss law every man had to possess a working firearm. Too much trouble to start another war front.


Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 9

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