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User Topic: The guy who left his child to die in a hot car
♀ Member
Member # 34918
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This whole thing makes me sick, I can't imagine hurting a hair on any of my own children.

To answer a PP, we have a small life insurance policy on each of our kids, I believe it's $10k and it's meant to be used for final expenses (God, I had trouble even typing that out!!). We have 3 kids and It's really cheap, like $.35 per pay check, per kid.

BW (me):30
WH (guiltfilled11): 31
together 11 years, married 5 years
DDay: July 6th 2011
False R: beginning of August
True R until DDay 06/20 - talking to another girl and lying about it
Kids: DD 7, DS 4, DD 3

On the fence... do I stay or do

Posts: 183 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: NY
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 11:27 AM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry, Guinness.

Thank you, SilverHopes

LowLow - my infertility was a DIRECT reason my exh claimed he cheated, so yes I am with you there. Life is NOT fair. Life sucks but we can never know the reasoning for all of this as we are just human. Look at the poster who lost her baby probably to SIDS this week. LIFE IS NOT FAIR.

Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23

Posts: 685 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 11:37 AM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope they get punished to the max. The thought of it makes me sick.

Regarding insurance policies, we never had insurance on either one of us or our kids but my new job offered them for such a low price, we did it for us and the kids. I hope I waste the money because the thought of losing either one of my boys makes me absolutely sick.

Posts: 188 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This story has been equal parts obsessed and horrified - ok, more horrified. I can't stop reading about it. I want to scream and cry and tear my clothes. It's so many levels of fucking awful, I just can't comprehend it.

But I will be honest...there's a part of the story that's hit a real cord with me. My husband picked up on it last night and called me out on what I was feeling.

I just could have been distracted enough in the shit he was doing to hurt our kid. He was self absorbed and sociopathic like enough in the midst of his craziness that he could have unintentionally done something like this.

And he was quick to say "yes, God spared us from so much." Which I agree. And am so thankful for. But also angry.

Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 600 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ Member
Member # 29265
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Horrible horrible story. The Mum must have been in on it. I wouldn't assume my child had been left in a car if he wasn't at nursery. Why did she ring her mum and not her husband to see where the baby was? Why would she ask her husband if he'd said too much?

Why has she not been arrested too though?

Together 14 yrs
BW - Me
WH - Him
3 Children
DD 20th June 2010 actual affair was early 2008 for roughly 10 wks.

Posts: 247 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them....defense keeps lowballing this as nothing ...

I could never have a policy on my kids. Many people do in case of emergency/funeral expenses. I could never bring myself to plan for that...too frightening of a place to go to for me.

This story shows us true evil.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3858 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
♀ Member
Member # 24849
Default  Posted: 12:54 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no words.... SMFH

FWW - 41
"Don't think first about the risks of speaking up. Think first about the risks of not speaking up." ~ Kerry Patterson

Posts: 6022 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: So Cal.....
♀ Member
Member # 37984
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

RIP little man xx

Me - BW 49
H - 52
T 31 years
M 21 years

3 children from 11 to 17.

EA with coworker for 6m maybe longer. She was 25!!
Dday 26/6/2012.

Reconciling. Hard work isn't it?

Getting there!

Posts: 94 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: UK
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 1:09 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them….defense keeps lowballing this as nothing ...

No. We do not. I do not intend to outlive my daughter, and in the event that I somehow do outlive my sweet DD, it will not be long enough to spend any money.

[This message edited by Want2help at 1:10 PM, July 5th (Saturday)]

BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014


Posts: 2333 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
♂ Member
Member # 32820
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We do not have insurance on our kids. Just before our first child was born, I had a very interesting conversation with my insurance broker. He did not raise the prospect of insuring my soon to be born child, but rather suggested a $500k or $1M policy on my W who was going to be a stay at home mom. The broker's stated reasoning was that if W died, I could use the money to pay for nanny until my child started school. The broker also explained that initially the amount of the policy on me should allow my wife and children to stay in our house and my children to go to college in the event that I die before my kids finish college, and that as I pay off the mortgage and kids graduate college, I could reduce the amount of coverage on my life.

Posts: 134 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: New Jersey
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Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Evil. The entire story is evil.

The three, in essence, life insurance policies seem excessive. When I first heard $25,000, I thought about inflation and it didn't seem out-of-line (actually made me think that we should change ours). We first got our life insurance years and years and years ago. Only my WH is covered, but we have a $10,000 rider (for burial expenses) on each child and a $25,000 rider on me. If I died, my WH would not have become rich, but he wouldn't be devastated by daycare expenses/worries, either.

Trying to find money for my dad's funeral was horrible. My sister and her husband were unemployed, my brother was a single guy who made just enough to pay for his hobbies, my WH and I were in the middle of a PhD program (w/4 kids), and my mother was a greeter at a discount chain. Our church, thankfully, ended up paying for the expenses.

So, yes, despite not expecting my children to die before I do, I'd never NOT have insurance for them, hoping, somehow, that that would keep the grim reaper away. As I've learned through experience, that just makes a tragic situation even more nightmarish.

BW: 49; SLAWH: 46; M: 23 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute #1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (AP, escorts #1 & #2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
PS: I've NEVER NOT edited my posts

Posts: 476 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 4:06 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Curious for those who have kids, do you have life insurance on them....defense keeps lowballing this as nothing ...

Yes I do.
I've always had jobs that offered life insurance as part of the benefits package. I usually get $X00k for myself, $Y00k for hubby, and $10-20k for each child.
The $10-20k is to cover funeral costs in the event the unthinkable happens.

Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for cl

Posts: 6679 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
♀ Member
Member # 38141
Default  Posted: 5:01 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This couple should be locked in a car and parked in the dessert.

Guiness, I am sorry for your hurt.

I always think of those of us who are foster / adoptive parents. There are so many options for the fools out there who harm their children and then morons go and do this. I just do not get it. Why couldn't they walk into any adoption agency and start the process? I don't get the evil.

ME - Betrayed Spouse
Him - Wayward spouse
Not sure, but trying I guess.

Posts: 486 | Registered: Jan 2013
♀ Member
Member # 6687
Default  Posted: 5:41 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The story is so sick and getting even sicker. I can't stand the thought of these people having been entrusted with an innocent child. The sexting and penis pictures while his son was in the car - horrible, so disgusting and evil.

As far as insurance, both DH and I have life insurance through work and also through private companies. Each of our work life insurance came with optional child policies, I think it was DH's policy that we chose to include them on - not more than $10K per child, if that. When the private insurance company asked if we'd like to include our children we both said NO immediately, knowing the work insurance would suffice and not wanting to court fate by checking the box for our children on the private/voluntary policies we were getting for ourselves.

Posts: 3197 | Registered: Mar 2005
♂ Member
Member # 5491
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This happened about 4 miles south of where I work (about 12 south of where I live). So not surprisingly this has been in the news here a few days longer than nationwide.

The county police were VERY quick to file rather significant charges. I have to confess that I was one of many wondering "why". What could they possibly know so quickly to file such charges? The local constabulary took quite bit of heat for it. But as information started coming appears they (the police) were very much on top of it.

Innocent until proven and all that......what I can't wrap my head around is of all the possible ways of reaching the ultimate conclusion how could this have risen to the top?? I mean as fucked up as this guy appears to be --- the thought of his son dying this way didn't rattle him one little bit?

Edited to fix a telling typo.....

[This message edited by Kuwaited at 9:14 AM, July 6th (Sunday)]

"For every trip to the vet, there's a car ride.", Satchel Pooch.

"At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost." -- Tad...from Craig's List

Posts: 8491 | Registered: Oct 2004 | From: North Atlanta Burbs
♀ Member
Member # 16958
Default  Posted: 3:27 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I came on here tonight because this story has been haunting me. DS is a month older than this baby was. My NPD ex had affairs with 5+ women at a time and he's selfish. He hated to watch DS all day when I was working. I can't help but think that he might actually have done something this horrible. Terrible thought but true. The fact that him taking him to daycare was routine and a mile from the restaurant, coupled with the "overpowering smell" he got in the car and drive with and the internet searches seals it for me. He needs the death penalty. By burning.

As for the wife, she should be investigated. I will admit there was a time in our marriage where I had my head so far up my ass I had no idea what was going on. Maybe she wasn't in on it? My understanding is she told the police both if them had searched for info on hot car deaths so maybe she was just trying to cover for him. But I'm skeeved if she really called her mom before her husband...

All I know is this case devastates me. I was putting reusable bags and a child cover on the grocery cart while DS was still in his car seat. Even though he has autism DS still made a little protesting sound like "don't forget me!". And I could never! I can't stop thinking of that sweet baby (who they said was talking) yelling "daddy" as that evil man walked away. Then crying from being hot, then thirsty, then desperate, then passing into a merciful coma. Poor, poor baby!!!! I can't stop seeing DS in his place!

I agree that he, and his wife if in on it, should be burned alive.

Police: Father was 'sexting' as son was dying

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!

Posts: 943 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
♀ Member
Member # 39001
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH's brother was an insurance agent so we bought policies with each new addition. Most parents pray they would never have to face that situation but, I can tell you that it was one of the best decisions WH ever made. Our first child developed a very aggressive brain tumor at age six and died within 6 months.

Horrendous for sure but, we still have the policies on the other 3 just in case, God forbid, the unthinkable happens again.

[This message edited by outtanowhere at 7:03 PM, July 6th (Sunday)]

BS - 58
SAWH - 61 multiple encounters with prostitutes and other sex workers
Married 38 years
Dday - 2/19/13 - found the emails
He promised me Heaven then put me thru hell

Posts: 775 | Registered: Apr 2013
Topic Posts: 57
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