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Newest Member: Riverrat (46994)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: For the newly betrayed
♀ Member
Member # 43959
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excellent post. Thank you. I felt so stupid when I realized what was going on in my marriage. I was totally in denial and rugswept after WH's first, made up confession. Now I'm looking at the truth and wreckage of our life together and trying to reconcile. That so many people are going through this, too, is both depressing and comforting. SI is both a trigger and a help. (So are relationship books.) But I am learning.

Me-BS 50
Him-WS 50 Sorrowfulmate
Married 26 years, 5 kids
Dday #1 12/12 He made up a ONS
Dday #2. 3/14 EAs, 3 ONS, 2 LTA

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Jul 2014
♀ Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much, Tred. I had a rough weekend (emotionally) and really needed it.


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 518 | Registered: May 2014
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4243 | Registered: Dec 2011
♀ Moderator
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions. And at bottom, those opinions are merely our efforts to escape the underlying uneasiness of being human. - Pema Chodron

Posts: 20802 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, November 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to bump this again. I have no idea if this is a trend since I wasn't on this site yet this time last year, but it appears to me anyway that the closer we get to the Holidays, the number of new folks I'm seeing on SI seems to be increasing a a greater rate. Haven't "done the math" or run the numbers, but just sayin'.

Anyway, whether or not I'm seeing a trend that may or may not exist, I know there are many here such as myself who are entering a Holiday season for the first time after dealing with this betrayal. As a group, as a family, we too shall get through this together. I have't even been here a year yet, but I already know this - it really, really does get better.

Strength and best wishes to you all.

“Moving on, is a simple thing, what it leaves behind is hard.” - Dave Mustaine

"A unicorn isn't a unicorn. It's a donkey with a plunger stuck to it's face."

Posts: 1738 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
♂ Member
Member # 44908
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, November 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

so true Tred!

Thinking back, my biggest surprise was how 'text book' my story was. Oh, there were some very unique twists and turns, but the broadstrokes of the A, my response, etc - so common and predictable it was amazing!

Made me realize how naive I was...

Posts: 163 | Registered: Sep 2014 | From: Canada
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, November 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping for the weekend. Hi Tred!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 5560 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, January 7th (Wednesday), 2015View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

Posts: 2738 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, January 7th (Wednesday), 2015View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe we could ask the mods to stick a thumbtack in this one? It's great!

D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 3813 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Topic Posts: 29
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