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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: For the newly betrayed
♀ Member
Member # 43959
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excellent post. Thank you. I felt so stupid when I realized what was going on in my marriage. I was totally in denial and rugswept after WH's first, made up confession. Now I'm looking at the truth and wreckage of our life together and trying to reconcile. That so many people are going through this, too, is both depressing and comforting. SI is both a trigger and a help. (So are relationship books.) But I am learning.

Me-BS 50
Him-WS 50 Sorrowfulmate
Married 26 years, 5 kids
Dday #1 12/12 He made up a ONS
Dday #2. 3/14 EAs, 2 ONS, 1 LTA
TT until 7/14 Timeline given

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because

Posts: 68 | Registered: Jul 2014
♀ Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much, Tred. I had a rough weekend (emotionally) and really needed it.


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 456 | Registered: May 2014
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4128 | Registered: Dec 2011
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Welcome the rawness of vulnerability as an opportunity to open." - Pema Chodron

Posts: 18673 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, November 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to bump this again. I have no idea if this is a trend since I wasn't on this site yet this time last year, but it appears to me anyway that the closer we get to the Holidays, the number of new folks I'm seeing on SI seems to be increasing a a greater rate. Haven't "done the math" or run the numbers, but just sayin'.

Anyway, whether or not I'm seeing a trend that may or may not exist, I know there are many here such as myself who are entering a Holiday season for the first time after dealing with this betrayal. As a group, as a family, we too shall get through this together. I have't even been here a year yet, but I already know this - it really, really does get better.

Strength and best wishes to you all.

"Donít let the past steal your present. This is the message of Christmas: We are never alone." - Taylor Caldwell

Posts: 1394 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
♂ Member
Member # 44908
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, November 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

so true Tred!

Thinking back, my biggest surprise was how 'text book' my story was. Oh, there were some very unique twists and turns, but the broadstrokes of the A, my response, etc - so common and predictable it was amazing!

Made me realize how naive I was...

Posts: 99 | Registered: Sep 2014 | From: Canada
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, November 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping for the weekend. Hi Tred!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 5217 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 27
Pages: 1 · 2

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