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Newest Member: ShockedandRuined (48774)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: For the newly betrayed
Questioningall
♀ Member
Member # 43959
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excellent post. Thank you. I felt so stupid when I realized what was going on in my marriage. I was totally in denial and rugswept after WH's first, made up confession. Now I'm looking at the truth and wreckage of our life together and trying to reconcile. That so many people are going through this, too, is both depressing and comforting. SI is both a trigger and a help. (So are relationship books.) But I am learning.


Me-BS 51
Him-WS 51 Sorrowfulmate
Married 27 years, 5 kids
Dday #1 12/12 He made up a ONS
Dday #2. 3/14 EAs, 3 ONS, 2 LTA

Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.


Posts: 142 | Registered: Jul 2014
needfriendshere
♀ Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much, Tred. I had a rough weekend (emotionally) and really needed it.

(((Tred)))


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 823 | Registered: May 2014
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 1:06 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump...


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4473 | Registered: Dec 2011
Jrazz
♀ Moderator
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"It is impossible to get a man to understand something if his livelihood depends on him not understanding." - Upton Sinclair

Posts: 23843 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
MadeOfScars
♂ Member
Member # 42231
Default  Posted: 2:59 PM, November 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to bump this again. I have no idea if this is a trend since I wasn't on this site yet this time last year, but it appears to me anyway that the closer we get to the Holidays, the number of new folks I'm seeing on SI seems to be increasing a a greater rate. Haven't "done the math" or run the numbers, but just sayin'.

Anyway, whether or not I'm seeing a trend that may or may not exist, I know there are many here such as myself who are entering a Holiday season for the first time after dealing with this betrayal. As a group, as a family, we too shall get through this together. I have't even been here a year yet, but I already know this - it really, really does get better.

Strength and best wishes to you all.


I have learned silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful to those teachers. ― Khalil Gibran

Posts: 2184 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
jobin
♂ Member
Member # 44908
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, November 12th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

so true Tred!

Thinking back, my biggest surprise was how 'text book' my story was. Oh, there were some very unique twists and turns, but the broadstrokes of the A, my response, etc - so common and predictable it was amazing!

Made me realize how naive I was...


Posts: 340 | Registered: Sep 2014 | From: Canada
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, November 22nd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping for the weekend. Hi Tred!


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 6065 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, January 7th (Wednesday), 2015View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

Posts: 3294 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, January 7th (Wednesday), 2015View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe we could ask the mods to stick a thumbtack in this one? It's great!


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010
DD - 6 years old
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.

Posts: 4325 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, April 2nd (Thursday), 2015View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

Posts: 3294 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
mendingme
♀ New Member
Member # 47403
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, April 2nd (Thursday), 2015View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for this post! I am 6 months out and just now finding the courage to post. I have discovered that even though a fair amount of people know what happened, nobody mentions it. The worst 6 months of my life and nobody asks how I am. So this site has been a life saver! It's reassuring to know I'm not alone in this shit storm!!


Me:BS, 46
Him: WH, 50
DDay: 10/31/14 2 1/2 year affair
Married 24 years, 3 Awesome kids
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 31 | Registered: Apr 2015 | From: midwest
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, May 20th (Wednesday), 2015View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll

Posts: 3294 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Topic Posts: 32
Pages: 1 · 2

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