Topic: For the newly betrayed
Member # 43959
| Posted: 10:39 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014|
Excellent post. Thank you. I felt so stupid when I realized what was going on in my marriage. I was totally in denial and rugswept after WH's first, made up confession. Now I'm looking at the truth and wreckage of our life together and trying to reconcile. That so many people are going through this, too, is both depressing and comforting. SI is both a trigger and a help. (So are relationship books.) But I am learning.
Him-WS 50 Sorrowfulmate
Married 26 years, 5 kids
Dday #1 12/12 He made up a ONS
Dday #2. 3/14 EAs, 3 ONS, 2 LTA
Buttercup: We'll never survive.
Westley: Nonsense. You're only saying that because no one ever has.
Posts: 78 | Registered: Jul 2014
Member # 43350
| Posted: 10:52 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014|
Thanks so much, Tred. I had a rough weekend (emotionally) and really needed it.
Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.
Posts: 478 | Registered: May 2014
Member # 34086
| Posted: 1:06 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014|
Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
Posts: 4196 | Registered: Dec 2011
Member # 31349
| Posted: 10:12 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014|
"The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding." -Dr. B. Rieux
Posts: 19144 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 42231
| Posted: 2:59 PM, November 12th (Wednesday), 2014|
Just wanted to bump this again. I have no idea if this is a trend since I wasn't on this site yet this time last year, but it appears to me anyway that the closer we get to the Holidays, the number of new folks I'm seeing on SI seems to be increasing a a greater rate. Haven't "done the math" or run the numbers, but just sayin'.
Anyway, whether or not I'm seeing a trend that may or may not exist, I know there are many here such as myself who are entering a Holiday season for the first time after dealing with this betrayal. As a group, as a family, we too shall get through this together. I have't even been here a year yet, but I already know this - it really, really does get better.
Strength and best wishes to you all.
"Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going."
Posts: 1546 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Texas
Member # 44908
| Posted: 3:40 PM, November 12th (Wednesday), 2014|
so true Tred!
Thinking back, my biggest surprise was how 'text book' my story was. Oh, there were some very unique twists and turns, but the broadstrokes of the A, my response, etc - so common and predictable it was amazing!
Made me realize how naive I was...
Posts: 136 | Registered: Sep 2014 | From: Canada
Member # 35812
| Posted: 11:26 AM, November 22nd (Saturday), 2014|
bumping for the weekend. Hi Tred!
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Member # 42012
| Posted: 12:56 PM, January 7th (Wednesday), 2015|
"I remind myself of this. I am a survivor. I have taken all this world has dished out and am still here. So there is no reason to be afraid. Whatever happens, I will survive. So now onto living. It is time for me to thrive." - DrJekyll
Posts: 2648 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
Member # 3703
| Posted: 2:23 PM, January 7th (Wednesday), 2015|
Maybe we could ask the mods to stick a thumbtack in this one? It's great!
D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
Posts: 3740 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
|Topic Posts: 29|