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User Topic: July 4th and all holidays
Guinness23
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How many of you in the USA are REALLY celebrating a holiday today? Are you celebrating it as you used to or is that off the plate?

I have been divorced 3 years. Found out about the affair 6 years ago. I STILL can't enjoy holidays. I can't get into them. And my family just keeps hounding me. I would rather be working which is what I have been doing.

How about you?

[This message edited by Guinness23 at 6:19 PM, July 4th (Friday)]


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love holidays but have to spend many of them working.

The affair has the ability to take so much from us. ... we have to fight to take it all back.

I hope you are able to enjoy them again. (((Hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3846 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm just chilling alone today.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52680 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
somanyyears
♂ Member
Member # 26970
Default  Posted: 6:25 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


..

..infidelity...seems to take all the 'fun' out of life..

..

I can't get into them

..I know what you mean!!

smy


trust no other human- love only your pets
She isn't and never was who I thought..I can't believe who I married and what she did to us.
Me 67
Her 63
Married 42 yrs (together 47)
18 yr LTA with bf


Posts: 4129 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: the sad state of affairs
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm using this evening as my alone time. Usually I don't have a problem celebrating holidays that I enjoy...but sometimes it's just nice to take a little break from festivities. My folks wanted me to come out and visit them this weekend and do some stuff with them today...but I just wasn't feeling it. Luckily, they are very understanding and don't give me too hard of a time.


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 8:57 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have my kids this Jul 4th so I took them to a kids' parade this AM and I will take them to see fireworks tonight. We've been mostly at home.

Not a "celebration" per se. No BBQing or anything. But holiday at home with the kids.

If I was alone, I'd probably take it as my "me" time. Then again, I'm only 8 months since DDay. And I am looking forward to taking 3-day-weekends elsewhere in times like this.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
Lark
♀ Member
Member # 43773
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband worked, so it was just ne ans the girls. We bought squirt guns and ran and ran. It was good. I was glad it was just us and I could put all focus to them


“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” - Dumbledore

Posts: 740 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: California
RippedSoul
♀ Member
Member # 40055
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love holidays--still! Most of my family have been celebrating all day. My WH and DS14 have been home all day--they're both addicts and, therefore, less social. We'll all be watching fireworks tonight.


BW: 49; SLAWH: 46; M: 23 yrs
DD#1--11/30/12 (prostitute #1)
DD#2--1/29/13 (AP, escorts #1 & #2)
DD#3--9/13 (trolling MILF site)
DD#4--10/8/13 (EA with AP cont'd)
DD: 20; DD: 18; DS: 16; DS: 14
PS: I've NEVER NOT edited my posts

Posts: 461 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I always find a way to celebrate the holidays that I like, even though I'm usually alone. I've camped on the beach in Galveston on Christmas Eve; I've flown to NM to go to an annual family Halloween party; I cooked myself a lobster dinner for Thanksgiving.

This year I'm spending the 4th with great friends at their summer house in the Berkshires.

I will not let infidelity steal my joy.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20292 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Ginny
♀ Member
Member # 43196
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Today I am with my extended family from all over the country. I am 1000 miles from my WH's AP. I don't have to worry about running into her in the neighborhood. I don't have to see all of the places where they betrayed me for two months. I am just in my hometown where "everybody knows my name". I am known here by my maiden name. At the parade today someone yelled, "there's (first name, last name)!" then came over and gave me a hug.

I feel so much better here. I feel like I can exhale again. It has been a long 8 months trying to heal. I dread driving the 1000 miles back to my house Sunday. I wish I could stay and let him go home alone. I feel like I have my mojo back when I am here.


BW49
FWH50
DDay 11-02-13
Married 30 years
2 month PA/EA with COW
DS28
Trying to R

Posts: 98 | Registered: Apr 2014
HurtButHoping12
♀ Member
Member # 34918
Default  Posted: 12:10 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I absolutely cannot stand July 4th, because 3 years ago, it was the day that I first suspected WH was messing around. The official D Day is July 6. Every year I absolutely DREAD the 4th. Every year we end up at some family party where I'm so anxiety-filled, I want to climb the Wallace, but I play the good wife and socialize and laugh and smile until I can finally get WH to leave.

Right now I want to pull the covers over NY head and sleep until Monday night.


BW (me):30
WH (guiltfilled11): 31
together 11 years, married 5 years
DDay: July 6th 2011
False R: beginning of August
True R until DDay 06/20 - talking to another girl and lying about it
Kids: DD 7, DS 4, DD 3

On the fence... do I stay or do


Posts: 183 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: NY
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I'm really lucky that I'm able to enjoy holidays through DD4's eyes. I get to see them in a new light - which is a really good thing.

A suggestion that really helped me through holidays was to do something completely new or different.

4th of July? Go to the movies.

Christmas? Mexican food and a hike. (Weather permitting)

Sometimes just getting outside of the routine can be a relief because you kinda have to let go of expectations.

(((G23)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Guinness23
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 3:43 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I will not let infidelity steal my joy.

Well - I never let that truly happen: I watched "Yankee Doodle Dandy" for the first time in YEARS which was a staple when I was growing up

I am a photographer and journalist. Before my foreclosure in Illinois, I was able to cover the festivities in 2012 and 2013 for the town I lived in. Let me tell you how COOL that was!!!! To see the fireworks done by pyrotechnic experts and to capture them on camera was just too cool!!!

Its the partying with family and friends I still can't do and have no interest in yet


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
1owner
♂ Member
Member # 41157
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

11 months from dday, I have to force myself to participate in holidays. My heart just isn't in it. I would try to work or do something productive when possible.

I do force myself, but I would rather just go hide sometimes.


Posts: 205 | Registered: Oct 2013
Myname
♂ Member
Member # 23138
Default  Posted: 8:42 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

5.5 years out from D-day and holidays are still a struggle for me. I try to avoid them as much as possible.

I worked a little yesterday and then cleaned the house and cooked all night. I turned up the music loud enough so that I couldn't hear any fireworks and pretended that it was just another day.


DD: 1-14-09 EA/PA OM #1
TT: 5-11&12-09
DD#2: 5-18-09 EA OM #2
5-31-09: Told me she hasn't loved me.
No kids
Me BH: 38
12-08-10: S

Posts: 3069 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: Inside your computer.
tryin2havefaith
♀ Member
Member # 37165
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We had a great day together. Since H worked part of the day we bbq'd early then snuggled in bed together after he got home later to watch DC fireworks as we had thunderstorms here after dark.

We are 3 years out and are focused forward. Have a lot to look forward to (see other postings).

It could be easy to let memories of A/OW suck holiday happiness dry...but I know I am in control of what I think about! I WILL NOT give it any unpaid rent space in my head anymore! If it creeps into mind, I stop-sign it. But the more forward focused we are, the less thoughts of the lowlife skank come crawling out of the dark hole I put it in. Meditation/hypnosis/yoga have been key in gaining my life back.


ME- BS
HIM- WS
DDay 1/2011
4 - 6 months of TT'ing
Fully R'd
"Just as ripples spread out when a single pebble is dropped into water, the actions of individuals can have far-reaching effects. " -Dalai Lama

Posts: 265 | Registered: Oct 2012
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've never been a huge fan of this holiday, but for reasons that have nothing to do with infidelity.

Then the affair happened over the summer of 2007. Independence Day was the only holiday they spent together, and it was and is OW's favorite holiday. She even ended up marrying her next AP on the day so she could have a red/white/blue wedding.

Now I'm even less of a fan of the holiday.

That being said, we spent the day doing things WE like as a family. We camped out in the wilderness, fished, and picked wild berries.

Miles away from drunk rednecks, fireworks, and any thoughts of OW.

[This message edited by Want2help at 5:44 PM, July 5th (Saturday)]


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014

Reconciled


Posts: 2312 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Topic Posts: 17

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