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User Topic: Would you feel slighted?
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I've been at my job 1.5 years, get along well w my main boss. Anyway, he invites others in the office to social things but never includes me. I accepted that maybe since I was admin. and single that was why. This week he invited a new girl who has only been there ONE month who is young and single. I had figured he mainly invited couples more his age. Really makes me feel hurt and not worthy of being included...

How would you take this?


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Feb 2008
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 9:13 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes... I would feel slighted.

However I have no advice for you tho... But just reading it made me feel that ick, left out feeling, in my gut.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24591 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would too.


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6521 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd feel slighted too


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52583 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Definitely slighted.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7761 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 10:29 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Do you two get along professionally? Being social with coworkers is tough.


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13797 | Registered: Jul 2011
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do you socialize with other coworkers or do you have a "work life/personal life stay apart" vibe?

I know that I, personally, only let a very select few from my work life into my personal life.
Do you think that may be the vibe your boss might be picking up?

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 11:01 PM, July 4th (Friday)]


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6521 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:59 PM, July 4th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Being social with coworkers is tough.

THIS is so true. I have a great relationship at work with pretty much all of my coworkers, but we don't socialize much outside of the office, and honestly, I'm more comfortable with that.

However, I'm sure the slight does hurt. My only advice is keep doing the best job you can and focus on that, nothing else.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are most likely multitude of possible reasons - possibly she is in a different position and depending on her interview he feels this is a good networking opportunity etc. You don't really know.

Focus on your work and to be honest it is nice to be included but depending on your work and life balance it is also nice to not have to attend all the events.

Keep doing what you are doing and my guess is an invitation might be extended to you soon or you will be recognized for your work because you continue to be diligent which is far better!

[This message edited by fireproof at 6:35 AM, July 5th (Saturday)]


Posts: 1005 | Registered: Jul 2012
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks guys. We get along very well.

My last job was very social and I miss that. I am friendly and have never given off the vibe to not be included.

I keep in touch with my former co-workers including my old boss.

Trying not to let this affect my work.


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Feb 2008
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, July 5th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know it may not seem it but this is a learning opportunity.

Work is work - I understand the need for being included into a group but ask where people are going to lunch or maybe see if someone you like wants to grab a bite. Keep it professional.

I don't remember your age but the office can be a difficult place to have true relationships. I have had them but it is a fine line due to the professional atmosphere. On the flip side it is one place where you can get away in your work. If people know your business that could take away from your work.

If you want to make some friends invite people to grab a bite but work is really work.

Let this go or get busy establishing outside interests because not sure what the coworker is attending but it might be more of an obligation for all you know. If you want to attend possibly investigate what areas of growth there are for you in the company. I have seen people who work diligently move from an Admin to a managers position eventually. Good luck- you might be the one inviting people to the parties and don't forget if it makes business sense or not invite the admins.


Posts: 1005 | Registered: Jul 2012
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Shocked  Posted: 5:36 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all the great feedback.
Trying to let it go but still irritated. This person doesn't directly work in our dept. but sits by us. She is really laying it on thick w boss. Hope an EA isn't on the way (I know jaded right?).

Onward and upward...no need to focus on them.


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Feb 2008
yewtree
♀ Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you thought of talking to your boss about it? Or perhaps to your HR person to find out if there are special circumstances to her invitation?
If you can approach it without emotion, maybe they will be surprised that they didn't think to invite you and remember next time.


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4692 | Registered: Oct 2007
Amazonia
♀ Member
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it possible he feels uncomfortable because he supervises you? Or that it's the Admin thing except she's coming off a little too available so he made an exception?


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13797 | Registered: Jul 2011
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a non-work event so can't really go to HR.

It could be that he supervises me...I don't know...

I think she wants him for a reference or something. She isn't permanent. Something seems off.

Wish my BS radar wasn't still there...oh, well. Just need to focus on me and my work. Tune them out I guess


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Feb 2008
yewtree
♀ Member
Member # 16671
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To be honest I'd rather not hang with my coworkers. I ne'er stand that you are hurt... But I'd rather not mix my business and professional life.


Me(BS)45(at the time of D-day)

Divorced 2009, Closing on house Nov 2011 -
No longer waiting for the other "she" to drop.


Posts: 4692 | Registered: Oct 2007
positively4thst
♀ Member
Member # 23998
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can consider yourself lucky!!

"This person doesn't directly work in our dept. but sits by us. She is really laying it on thick w boss. Hope an EA isn't on the way (I know jaded right?)."

Not jaded, smart and intuitive!! My sense is that you sent a professional vibe, as you should. Keep it that way and socialize with people you don't work with. Keep a low profile and you will be happy you did. It "is" you, you are not invited because you present yourself with respect. This is one of those times you want to be ignored, trust me!!


Posts: 1252 | Registered: May 2009
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Omg...help. Trying to ignore but today was awful. She went into his office w a bag of goodies. I sit right outside so there is no avoiding. Laughing and flirting and talking abt the upcoming event

I would bet a large sum that his wife isn't invited.

I can't believe I have to witness this crap...yuck...

So frustrated


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Feb 2008
SI Staff
Moderator
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Red  Posted: 5:48 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Reminder that Off Topic is an infidelity-free zone.

Thank you.


Posts: 10000 | Registered: May 2002
Why??
♀ Member
Member # 18132
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry. Could you please move to appropriate forum?

Thanks


"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

Posts: 1860 | Registered: Feb 2008
Topic Posts: 22
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