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User Topic: Need mommy advice
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was married and already had 3 kids when most of my friends were just getting married. So a lot of them ask me for baby/kid advice since I've BTDT compared to where they are. Well, now I need the advice for my oldest DD.

DD is 8 and will be 9 at the end of this month. She has always been physically mature. In the last year and a half or so she has entered puberty and on Memorial Day she got her first period. A real period. And then 27 days later she got it again. We aren't talking the beginnings of a period and irregular...a full on my baby is a woman period. She is practically a teen in some ways...and still a 9 year old kid in others. This summer I feel like she intellectually would get that if she has her period she can't swim, but it doesn't mean it wouldn't be disappointing to a kid. Have any of your daughters started this young and did you even entertain the idea of tampons? What would a young competitive swimmer (like 10) who has their period do? DD is 7 inches taller and 40 pounds heavier than an average 9 year old. She plays hockey but for that she can use pads. I'M too young for this!

[This message edited by TattoodChinaDoll at 10:58 AM, July 6th (Sunday)]


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My dd's were older and it still took them years to be comfortable enough to use tampons. I think 9 is too young. But you know your dd best.

Have you talked to your pediatrician? My cousin had a dd showing signs of early puberty and I believe she was put on a med to delay it. Not sure that can happen after the fact.

UGH! a period at 8yo.


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6550 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She has an appointment soon. I noticed the signs awhile ago. It started with the hips. Then the acne and greasiness. And te chest around the same time. I saw that she had hair down there and the next week had the "talk" with her thinking it would be another year before anything started. It literally was the next week! And it's weird because she has everything else but no hair under her arms. She's a big girl. And I don't mean fat. She's been tall and dense since she was a newborn. I don't think it's any weird hormonal imbalance. I think she was just ready...unfortunately at 8 years old! I sure wasn't ready!


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 11:38 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Talk to your ped, but I think the notion of girls not using tampons is old fashioned based on "breaking their virginity". If she learns how to use them sensibly, changing frequently, I don't see any issues with them. Alternately, if you think she could handle it (I can't!) you could get her a menstrual cup (diva cup).


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20278 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 11:41 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And regarding my opinion of tampons...I just don't know if I'm being over protective and "my baby! My baby!" Or if it's really something that will mess with her body and head. Or if because she is the size of a grown woman that it would basically be ok. But what about psychologically?! If she would be ok with it, I guess I would. Maybe this will mess me up psychologically the most! I know that the first few times I tried tampons I couldn't do it. I only was able to comfortably use them when I lost my virginity.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 11:42 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't believe that breaking virginity stuff. I'm just more freaked out about my baby using one.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Alyssamd24
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Member # 39005
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD is only five so we havent been through this yet....8 is so young, I feel for both you and your DD....I feel like now a days girls are getting their periods much earlier....its more common to hear of 10 year olds getting their periods...but 8?!

What does your DD know about tampons? She may not even be willing to use one...i wasn't able to use them until after I lost my virginity at 17....until then I just wouldnt swim ...it sucked not being able to go in the water but at the time that was much better than the alternative.


"I need to be redeemed to the one I've sinned against because he's all I ever knew of love"

Posts: 870 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Massachusetts
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We discussed it all when we had the talk including tampons. I also got her a book and it talked about them.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

8? Ugh. I'm sorry. I think kids should be anatomically incorrect (like Barbie's little sister) until they are 22. Is it possible she is shaving under her arms and not telling you? Maybe she is embarrassed?


I was talking to DD about tampons yesterday. I think it is less of an age thing and more of what are they comfortable with using. Just a sidenote, if she chooses to go that route, remind her that the plastic applicator does not stay inside her.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:23 PM, July 6th (Sunday)]


Posts: 35824 | Registered: Mar 2011
TattoodChinaDoll
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Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She isn't shaving. I've been keeping an eye on it. I did ask her if anyone has talked about shaving yet because she has dark skin and dark hair so she is on the hairy side. She said no one has mentioned it and she isn't bothered by the hair on her legs, her upper lip, or her unibrow...poor hairy kid.

The first two days of her first period she seemed scared. After that and this last time she seemed like an old pro. She is independent so she just does everything on her own. But I've made sure she knows she can talk to me, her aunt, her cousins, and even her father (she actually is more open with him than me).


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Feelthrownaway
♀ Member
Member # 33772
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My daughter was 11 and she was small for her age. She wanted to use tampons since I used them. I bought the smallest ones I could find. I told her how to use it and showed her as she didn't want me to watch her. She had no problem with using one. My close friend growing up was nine and she also started with tampons.

Ask her if she wants to try tampons. Explain that she can swim while using tampons but unfortunately with a pad she can not. Make her comfortable with having a period, that it is natural, and nothing to be ashamed of. My daughter was excited to get her period. I started late and never wanted one LOL


BW- 48
FWH-49
D-day- aug 16,2011
Married 23 years- together 25

What doesn't kill me, scars me.


Posts: 1076 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Down South
tushnurse
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Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 4:43 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Speaking as a mom and a medical professional here. My Dr's best friend started at 9 and she was miserable. She was bigger than the rest of the kids and missed out on a couple of pool parties.
My DD was just 11 when she started and did competitive cheer and had 1 period before her next competition and need for use.
So we discussed it and she was willing to try. I got the smallest ones with the softest applicators. We went into the bathroom hand mirror and mom and we talked through it and then she did it. We talked about getting it in far enough and how long she could keep them in. I personally preferred tampons to pads and encouraged her to give them a an honest try. Within a month she was sold.
As a nurse it doesn't hurt them change them or cause problems for them to use them. I teach no more than 4 hours for a single tampon and give your body breaks so typically we do tampons during the day and pads at night.

The other thing to be aware of for a lot of girls that start young they quit growing shortly thereafter so make sure you have this discussion, because even though she may be lots bigger than everyone else now she could end up shorter.

Deep breaths tcd you will get through this too.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8691 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you TN. That made me feel a lot better. I'm not tall (I think I've shrunk from 5'4" to 5'3 and a half"). My mom and my aunt are 5'2" and under and on the other side I think my grandmother never made it to 5 foot. I have a cousin who is just 5 foot. But I also have female relatives that are tall. I was always the tallest until about 6th grade and never grew again. I hope she gets another inch or two in the next couple of years though.

Next time I will ask her. I'll leave it up to her because if it were up to me she wouldn't have her period until she was 18.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
rachelc
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Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What would a young competitive swimmer (like 10) who has their period do?

Mine were 12.5 when they had theirs but were knee deep into comp. swimming. They abhored tampons. when they're in the water the blood doesn't come out. so, they would use a pad until the last possible minute and then jump in for a two hour practice. During competitions, same thing. And then at age 14 they started using tampons. Most of their swimming peers used tampons right away.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.


Posts: 5249 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Undefinabl3
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Member # 36883
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I didn't start at 9, I was 11. I never used pads. My mom gave me a box of slim tampons and told me to practice until I couldn't feel it. She gave me pointers and stuff (like, it can't just sit at the opening, it has to go in there), but it was full on hands on learning for me to start using tampons.

I have only used pads when I absolutely can not use tampons...i hate them. They are bulky and messy. They can smell and they are not that easy to hide. In school, the embarrassment of hauling a pad to the bathroom was felt.

Learning how to use them, changing tampons often, and using a liner for any leaks between is a good way to go.


Me: 31 MH
Him: 37 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit

Posts: 1767 | Registered: Sep 2012
lost_in_toronto
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Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No advice from the mommy perspective, because my kid is still a toddler and the thought of her hitting puberty freaks me out already.

From the kid perspective, I can remember desperately wanting to try tampons but being incapable of bringing it up with my mom because I was too embarrassed. However, pads really sucked and I wanted something more discreet.

If your daughter isn't interested in tampons there are some great alternatives like natural sponge that would be soft and easy for her to handle and would work when she was swimming. Check out a health food store for some ideas.


Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1677 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've tried the cups before and it's just so odd. I think I spent the whole day with my legs crossed. I've never heard about a sponge but I just looked it up. Found one called a Jam Sponge...ha! Guess because you jam it up your hoo hoo. That one is just a sea sponge. It looks like it would tickle.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
tushnurse
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Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They abhored tampons. when they're in the water the blood doesn't come out.

If she flows heavily she will bleed in the water too, and you want to talk about embarrassing moments.....Imagine closing the whole pool due to a biohazard event and being the cause.....that's the shit that causes life long issues.
I have a girlfriend that never did get good at using tampons, and she would just douche with warm water a couple of times before going into the water.

The cup thing sounds awesome, I would have liked to try it prior to having my Hysterectomy, but that was so long ago I didn't even know it was an option. The sponge things again would be awkward and could be really icky if she flows hard.

The main thing is to just be very matter of fact about it, and not make a big deal about it, even if you are freaking out on the inside.

I did get my DD a box of them and told her keep trying, and don't be afraid to use many until she got it right. She wasted 2. She prefers tampons to pads, and gets aggravated that mom makes her wear pads to bed and call me old fashioned, and rolls her 15 year old eyes at me.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8691 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
trying_2_recover
♀ Member
Member # 28778
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My granddaughter started two weeks after turning 10 and that has been traumatic for her I can't imagine 8. We had thought gd was going to be tall because her father is 6'4" but she's only 5' and I know this pretty much signals the end of her growth spurts though her feet are still getting gigantic . There is just something wrong with having to deal with a period in 4th grade (my gd)

Posts: 243 | Registered: Jun 2010 | From: Washington
TattoodChinaDoll
♀ Member
Member # 34602
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I asked her this morning if she wanted to try using tampons next time and she got a horrified look on her face and shook her head. Oh well. I told her that if she wants to try so that she would be comfortable swimming and not have to miss out, I would help her.


Me (BW): 32
WH: 33 TimeToManUp
Married: 11 years, together 16 years
3 daughters: 9, 5, 3, and and 2 angel babies (2013 and 2014)
D-Day: 12/21/2011
Confronted him: 12/22/2011


Posts: 1727 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: New Jersey
Topic Posts: 21
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