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Newest Member: Littlest (45078)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Left alone....
yme32313
♀ Member
Member # 42091
Default  Posted: 1:52 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is it bad that I'd rather be by myself than with my H. He says some of the dumbest things that trigger all my emotions. I know he doesn't mean it but he's so dumb to say things.

Ugh! Will the triggers just stop!


Me: 31
H: 55
Dated: Aug. 2003 M: Mar. 2013
Cheated: While dating

Posts: 179 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New Mexico
karmahappens
♀ Member
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((hugs)))

Triggers suck, and so do stupid comments.

When it happens do you talk to him? Can you explain to him the need for him to think before he says things?

The triggers do end, eventually. It takes work to end them though, I really had to work through my triggers. I had to explain them to my husband so he understood what they meant and where they came from.

Your husband needs to want to help you through them.


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3822 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
KatyDo
♀ Member
Member # 41245
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes too you need to heal on your own, to come to terms with what has happened, without someone "messing it up" by saying stupid unhelpful things. That can be very healing - and talking to someone who does get it is good too. Healing within the relationship and on your own are both important.


Married 7 years, together for 14
Me: BS Him: chronic boundary issues, EA for 2 years, DD Spring 2013

Posts: 193 | Registered: Nov 2013
Topic Posts: 3

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