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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I thought i knew her
VikingTom
♂ New Member
Member # 43997
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So last year me and my wife for 7 years almost split up after she told me she had fallen for a guy she talked with online, well after weeks of talking about it and discussing things she tells me she will not leave me because of the kids and because of the promise she made when she married me.

So we moved on and everything seemed fine, and we talked about moving back to my old country Norway because i have family here and we could start fresh and build on our marriage.

So we start planning, i leave my job for 9 years, cash out my retirement, sell everything we have and buy tickets and pack down our life into 2 large suitcases each......

We get to Norway and we start planning....Suddenly after 2 weeks here, she tells me the guy she almost left me for had met her and flown from the Netherlands where he is from to Ohio to be with her..they had sex and i of course didn't know...and she told me he had bought her and our oldest kid (Not mine biologicly, but still cared for) plane tickets to come and live with him,,,the youngest one our 8 year old is with me.....and i told my wife she will not be around him.

So right now i am sitting here mad and angry and trying to figure out what i am going to do, i have return tickets and money left to go back to the US where i know i will get custody for our youngest because my wife has been in Mental institutions many times.......

Any ideas on what i should be doing first?

Tom


Posts: 2 | Registered: Jul 2014
Tigaress
♀ Member
Member # 43954
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Tom! I'm so sorry to hear what your wife did to you :-( Her behavior seems so cruel to you as well as to the two children!
Do you still have ties in the US? It sounded like you packed up and left. How is your legal status? I'm definitely not an expert but I was thinking that you could maybe talk to a lawyer in Norway and find out what it would mean to file for divorce in your home country? Maybe you would have the same chance to get custody for your youngest child there and you wouldn't have to move again? Are you worried about the older child, is your wife in a state where she can care for him/her? I would assume that even though you're not the biological father you still have strong feelings for that child. I hope that you have strong family support in Norway! Wishing you a lot of strength!!

Posts: 181 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: New York
VikingTom
♂ New Member
Member # 43997
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Tigaress, for responding....Well my thoughts are for the best of my youngest to go back so she can be back with her friends and school she did well in and liked.

I don't have much support from my Norwegian Family a little but not as much as i wanted....i still got money to last for a bit there, here everything is very expensive....

My wife and the oldest moved to the netherlands, she will how ever be coming here and stay for 4 days to see the youngest...but i know it wont be much fun for me, but my most important task now is on my young one


Posts: 2 | Registered: Jul 2014
Tigaress
♀ Member
Member # 43954
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You sound like you're a great father. Make sure to also take care of yourself, you're going through very rough times. Only when you're in good shape will you be ready for the things that are going to happen next with your wife, in the divorce etc. I hope her visit will go by peacefully - she won't try to take your younger child with her?
When I arrived here in this forum last Sunday, many people recommended I should start reading in the 'healing library' and particularly do an exercise that is called 180 - it's about managing yourself and your emotions in the upcoming difficult times with your cheating wife. I'm sure other people will have lots more advice for you and will share their experiences... All the best for you and your child and a big virtual hug!

[This message edited by Tigaress at 7:59 PM, July 6th (Sunday)]


Posts: 181 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: New York
Commanche1
♂ Member
Member # 39692
Default  Posted: 1:31 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

VikingTom "so she can be back with her friends and school she did well in and liked." This is the 1st thing you should do, Think of your daughter and forget you ever had a wife. Life will get better Go back to the states, your daughter will be happy and you will too

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jun 2013
soccermom9
♀ Member
Member # 43805
Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Virtual hug! This is a hard road we embark upon and when someone treats you in that manner, it's time to move on!


Me: 44
WH: 43
Dday: 6-20-14
He admitted to drunken sex at massage parlor!
Attempting reconciliation

Posts: 66 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: Kentucky
Brandon808
♂ Member
Member # 35619
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i have return tickets and money left to go back to the US where i know i will get custody for our youngest because my wife has been in Mental institutions many times.......
Do this as soon as you can.


xBH
D final 8/2012

Posts: 4000 | Registered: May 2012 | From: southeast
Topic Posts: 7

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