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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: ugh....wtf, inlaws???
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So one night when I had too much wine and was fighting with my husband about his sexcapades with hookers, I called his parents crying saying we were getting divorced. They flipped out, said that we couldn't bc we love each other and to wait until we could talk to them. Well I told them what had happened and they were pissed at him.

His mom said she wanted to.slap him, his dad said he couldn't believe it and was pissed.

So they know our issues....

Today, we're sitting, chatting about fb and his dad starts talking about all of my husbands friends from hs that he found.

He mentions this gorgeous chick that my hubby liked in grammar school and hs....and how she "looks like an actress" etc

So I get my blood boiling and say "he should date her.....fb is the relationship killer.......so why not? Plus, she's loaded!!!"

Fuckin pissed me off!!!!!

[This message edited by Raspberry at 9:27 PM, July 6th (Sunday)]


Posts: 147 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 9:32 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some people are completely clueless.

-10 FIL

(((Raspberry)))


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17846 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Tigaress
♀ Member
Member # 43954
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder who your husbands role model was for his sexcapades with hookers! Just ignore the dad, what he said was idiotic and tasteless, particularly as he knows about his sons issues. Don't let it get you down. Big hug!

Posts: 181 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: New York
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 10:48 PM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The funny thing is, is my inlaws have been.together since they were 16. They are 70-72 now. Beautiful relationship.etc....I admire them. I truly think they are clueless but it still fired me.up.


Annnnnd...just had another blowout with wh. F him.


Posts: 147 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
MakingMyFuture
♀ Member
Member # 43530
Default  Posted: 4:03 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be grateful they were at least pissed at him initially. Please know, that nobody will keep what has happened in the forefront of their mind the same way you will.

Maybe in the future, you can let them know when they bring up something that crosses the line or makes you uncomfortable. You can simply say, "given what you know has happened, I think that's a really inappropriate and hurtful thing to say"?!?


When people show you who they really are, believe them - Maya Angelou

DDay 1 - 1/13, False Recovery Discovered more + Broken NC so DDay2= 7/14

9/9/14: filed for divorce

BW: 42 (me)
WH: 40 (him)
DD-10, DS-8


Posts: 100 | Registered: May 2014
Tigaress
♀ Member
Member # 43954
Default  Posted: 5:41 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also outed my husband to his parents. They are Indian and quite conservative and they were angry at him. But now, a week later, they seem to have moved on ... A few people here said 'blood is thicker than water' and such things and I believe they're right, even if you're married for the longest time and part of the family, in the end the family will normally stick to their own. Maybe in this case they would just like to forget that their son did something that was so against their model of a life-long happy marriage ... But I totally get that you were furious, I would have been, too :-( And even if they live in their illusion that their son's marriage is ok (now), it's not a nice thing to praise some other woman's beauty over one's own daughter in law. That should be common sense, I think.

Posts: 181 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: New York
12yearsloyal
♀ Member
Member # 43064
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very stupid for your FIL to bring that up. (especially knowing the history of HIS son) Sometimes they just don't think.

I agree FB and technology in general is killing many relationships. I long for the days of 1 phone in the household with a long cord on it.

Now we have secret burner phones, Whats app, Vonage app and many others that allow the WS to keep in easy contact with OW/OM. I know cheating went on in the 50's and the 60's but now it is so "convenient" to cheat and for that we can thank TECHNOLOGY.

Porn sites open 24/7 in the comfort of your own home, what more can a cheater ask for? You can get what you want anytime, any place and very often keep it SECRET from your LOYAL spouse. Yes - thank you technology for making all of our lives so convenient and EASY. It is now EASY to be an "EASY" person.


Him: WS, Selfish, mental, mid-life crisis LTA EA PA
Me: BS American, Blonde, thin, attractive (and none of that mattered)
OW: Caribbean whore (RuPaul is better looking)
What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?

Posts: 161 | Registered: Apr 2014
Bigger
♂ Member
Member # 8354
Default  Posted: 7:34 AM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So one night when I had too much wine and was fighting with my husband about his sexcapades with hookers,

So why do you think it’s a good idea to talk about relationship issues when drunk?


"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

Posts: 5565 | Registered: Sep 2005
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^

I talk to him about it alllll the time about it. I'm saying that the day I had too much wine, I called his parents and went off.
I would have never done that but I flipped out bc as much as he's telling me, I still feel like he's withholding info.

[This message edited by Raspberry at 6:29 PM, July 7th (Monday)]


Posts: 147 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
12yearsloyal
♀ Member
Member # 43064
Default  Posted: 9:05 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's good his parents know his "issues". You are not on trial here and it does not matter if you had one glass of wine or 3. He is the infidel and this is his truth and his reputation. He can own it.

I have thought long and hard about spilling the beans to my MIL. I have not done it yet but deep down feel she should know what her son as done to me. In-laws can paint a picture of how great their kids are it can make you sick when you know the secret of what the truth is and they don't.

I think it is good you told them and it does not matter the circumstances which it was under.


Him: WS, Selfish, mental, mid-life crisis LTA EA PA
Me: BS American, Blonde, thin, attractive (and none of that mattered)
OW: Caribbean whore (RuPaul is better looking)
What will it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?

Posts: 161 | Registered: Apr 2014
Raspberry
♀ Member
Member # 42853
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, 12yearsloyal. I was alittle taken aback with the "drunk" comment above.

His parents never mentioned it to him (about what he did etc) so they've pretty much rug swept it. Not me though...everyday gets harder and harder.

I'm starting to think that I'll never recover. And what sucks is, going forward, I believe ill always be cheated on, so I'd rather be alone. *cries*

This is absolutely awful.


Posts: 147 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Raspberry
hopefulmother
♀ Member
Member # 38790
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Back then, getting a divorce was unheard of and infidelities were not always a reason for divorce. Not to mention, BS were expected to suffer in silence...you just didn't air your dirty laundry. My grandparents...same issue. My grandmother put up with a lot.


Me-BW 39
WH-39
D-day 9-4-12
Major TT 8-14
Friends for 20yrs dating since 2000
Married 10yrs with 2 toddlers
My wedding band is a symbol of hope, forgiveness, love, and grace.

Posts: 946 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: PA
Topic Posts: 12

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