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User Topic: Should I get a dog?
Deeply Scared
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Member # 2
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are you upset with me? Because I don't know how I said anything that would lead to the charge of not understanding that pets require attention and care.

Absolutely not!!

I just feel it's bad advice for anyone to tell her to get a dog and in some cases...TWO. She's not ready, and I feel this is a situation that will turn into huge upset/heartbreak for both Badmedicne and the potential dog/puppy.

IMHO


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198293 | Registered: May 2002
Rebreather
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Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like the idea of dipping your toe in by dogsitting for friends or working with a rescue.

I love my dogs so much but I do fantasize about no dog hair and slobber marks and not getting up during the night to let Mr. Small Bladder outside to pee. Worse than an infant!


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, I would not won a dog if I worked too many hours unless I could employ a dog sitter/walker. We did this with our dogs and had fantastic results (we had much more disposable income at the time, now we have no disposable income but lots of time at home ).


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014

Reconciled


Posts: 2312 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
scaredyKat
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Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 6:06 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When you are ready, do consider cats. I NEVER thought of myself as a cat lady. Now? I adore my girls. They are great company, independent enough to be left alone if needs be, affectionate, sometimes too much!
But I would absolutely adopt a cat who was a year or so old, or siblings. You'd know the personality and that they'd be friendly to one another.


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3656 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
Jomarion
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Member # 43659
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have had lots of dogs most my life, and if you can give a dog that needs a home, such as from a shelter, wonderful! Puppies ARE a lot of work, I actually prefer adopting older dogs, they can be cute and fluffy too! I have only had at least two dogsat a time so they can be companions when I am not about. If you are not home full time, a quiet non-energetic dog is a good idea, greyhounds are coach potatoes, and often need homes (last I heard 1 out of seven racing greyhounds is killed once its racing days expire).

If you have any mind to a cat, many breeds can be very dog-like. Abysinean cats are very dog like:ours would go on walks with us, play fetch, and are beautiful and very cuddly too. Less demanding than a dog. Cats sleep much more than a dog, so your being out would not be so burdensome for them.

If you are determined to give a dog/cat a loving home for life, go for it! Without my animals, I would be in crazy-land. They can heal broken hearts.


me:BGF, 54, American immigrant. one son. me and my ex get along great, the most amicable split imaginable!
him:WBF,43, Polish immigrant
together since 2006,
DDay:October28,2009,after his 3 teen kids push him to cheat with OW.
5 betrayed me

Posts: 192 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: UK
ISPIFFD
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Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just to add another 2-cents I got a puppy last year after feeling lonely and somewhat adrift. I work part-time and have the financial resources to care for a dog, and the XH and I had raised 3 other dogs so I wasn't new to the concept. As soon as I started thinking of the idea, I couldn't get it out of my head for months. Then I went ahead (against my therapist's suggestion that I try fostering first) and got Cobber, an 8-week Australian Terrier.

What a horrid mistake I felt I'd made, after just a few days I was here whining and moaning about the burden I'd taken on!

Look at him:

Look at how friggin cute he was!

What he was NOT was cuddly, friendly, happy to see me, the least bit interested in doing anything I wanted to do, biddable, eager, etc. All I wanted to do was play and cuddle with him. What I ended up doing was pulling him off me every time he latched on for life with his demonspawn razor teeth. And cleaning up pee and poop.

And I couldn't even give him back!

Which turned out to be a great thing because it made me deal with the situation and learn a LOT about how to raise a less-than-Disney-perfect puppy. He's now the best friend I could hope for. But it was a very very unfun first few months! And it involved lots of training time and Thank Gawd for doggy daycare where he could run off all his energy every day.

Cats truly are a lot easier. My 3 tried to tell me!

I would second all the suggestions to foster or take on a friend's puppy for a week just so you can see all the things you'd be dealing with that you might think you can handle but maybe don't really anticipate fully.

If you get a dog, you'll end up having a great companion. But puppies are HARD. If you go to one of the dog forums and type in "puppy blues" or just "overwhelmed", you will find dozens upon dozens of posts from people who just got a puppy and are so overwhelmed by the responsibility they can't stop fretting or even crying. It's a lot like having a baby and then a toddler. The upside is those phases for pups last for months not years

Meanwhile, I can't wait to get a second dog, but it won't happen until I move in Oct and Cobber gets used to the new place. Then it will be a better time to bring in a new dog and throw our lives into chaos again.

Edited to add: I LOVE hamsters!!! That was the only pet I was allowed to have as a child, and I still had them when I was married. Hamsters are a wonderful pet! Sweet, cuddly, furballs that stay in their little homes and don't mess the carpet. Just sayin'

[This message edited by ISPIFFD at 9:00 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1873 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
metamorphisis
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Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What I ended up doing was pulling him off me every time he latched on for life with his demonspawn razor teeth

Our trainer told us to go stand in the bedroom and close the door every time the puppy bit us or chewed on us. The idea being that removing attention was key, and he had to learn when he bit, we would leave.
Anyway.. at one point all four members of my family were standing in the bathroom together. Afraid to go out in the hall and face the demonpup.
Seriously.. I don't think he let us cuddle him for about 4 months. His urge to chew and mouth us was just too strong. He made my trainer bleed. Oh lord.. puppies are not fun.



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44957 | Registered: Sep 2006
lieshurt
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Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 9:31 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Anyway.. at one point all four members of my family were standing in the bathroom together. Afraid to go out in the hall and face the demonpup.



Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13807 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
badmedicine
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Member # 41692
Default  Posted: 11:00 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone for the advice! And the visual of a family crouched in a bathroom

My initial post may have sounded more flighty than I am about this. I think part of the reason I haven't wanted a dog before is the commitment and the training and also feeling like he/she would be alone. My schedule varies but I work about 65 hrs/week. I would definitely have a dog walker on really long days. I know a puppy is a lot of work and this is why I'm looking into it ahead of time. I also know that they grow up (hopefully!!) and become dogs. I am NOT planning to just adopt a dog without any advance planning. I am a bit surprised at how many people came out and told me not to get one. Something to think about. The particular breed I was considering is very small (10 lbs or less) at full size and good for an apartment. They can also be trained to use a pad/box so they can stay alone for longer periods of time so that's something I'm considering.

OK, SI, I promise to keep thinking about this. I won't do anything crazy. But I also know that everyone who has a dog has to have a first dog sometime, right?

ETA: I was anticipating something like ISPIFFD's experience. ...really tough for a few months but worth it overall (and that puppy is adorable!).

[This message edited by badmedicine at 11:08 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


"The wishbone will never replace the backbone." -Will Henry
"This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it." -Dorothy Parker

Posts: 208 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: United States
Sad in AZ
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Default  Posted: 11:20 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah; it's me, Debbie Downer again. Even reading your disclaimer, I still don't think you get a dog. Your selection of breeds under 10 lbs is pretty much limited to Chihuahuas, teacup poodles and teacup Yorkies--all bad ideas. Chis can be wonderful pets, but you have to get them from a very reputable breeder. They need a lot of care and attention--once again, they're not accessories.

Any kind of teacup dog is an abomination. Breeding them down that small causes all kinds of physical and emotional problems.

I'm very serious. Dogs are pack animals; they need they're pack, and you are it. If you're out of the house 60 hours a week, you won't have time for a grown dog, much less a puppy.

I've had dogs all my life, and I still can say that raising a puppy is a challenge. Every dog is different. I'm not even talking about breeds--literally every dog is a different personality. I've raised small beagles and giant mastiffs. I frankly prefer the giant breeds for temperment and personality, but the catch with them is that they don't have long lifespan.

I have raised puppies while working full time, but not the hours you're working. I don't have any with me now because of that very reason. I work long hours, and I have no local support structure.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20284 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
Pentup
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Default  Posted: 6:46 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to throw my 2 nets in. If you work full time, much less 65 hrs a week and can not take your dog to work, unless you can afford doggie daycare every day, then that is very unfair to a dog. You will also be setting yourself up for a dog with separation anxiety, etc.

I have 2 dogs, I thought one more could not be much more work than 1. I was very wrong. It is 2 times the work.

I can take my dogs to work and my h and I can swing shifts. Otherwise, I would not have a dog or two.
It is about being fair to the dog. JMO


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
osxgirl
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Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll chime in a little too... If you had a house where you could have an outdoor dog, there are larger breeds (I'm thinking of huskies) that are a bit more independent. We had huskies growing up, and they liked being outdoors - liked roaming the large yard and "owning" their territory. They liked being near us and getting attention, but weren't as "needy" about it.

But very few dogs are that way. Certainly the smaller breeds aren't. My sister has a maltipoo (half maltese, half mini poodle) that weighs about 4 lbs. They seldom leave the dog by itself even during the day. Maybe for a few hours at most. A lot of times, my sister drops off the dog even if she is just at the office for the day (she's a corporate flight attendant, so she travels a lot, but sometimes she is at home in the office). When she travels, she pretty much always has my mom watch. If she and her DH are going out for the evening, most times the dog gets dropped off. She really just doesn't handle being alone more than a couple of hours.

Even with our huskies, which were pretty independent and outside-only dogs, when we went on vacation, we had to find someone that could go to the house, not just to make sure they had food and water, but also to spend at least a little time just petting/playing with them. They needed that reassurance.

---

As most people have said, cats can be a lot easier... at least from the perspective of how much time they need from you. There would still be plenty of work involved. The litterbox, the hairballs (worse with long-hair cats), grooming them frequently to help minimize the hairballs. But they can provide just as much companionship - it depends a lot on the personality of the cat.

Even with cats, I would recommend having two, especially if you work long hours. Many times, when a cat is the only one in the house, especially if it is a younger cat, it will find all kinds of things to amuse itself. Things that might not amuse you so much. They can be self-entertaining to a certain extent, but their attempts to amuse themselves can sometimes be destructive. Having a companion can help with that.

I'll also second the bit about looking at different breeds depending on what kind of companion you want. Although the individual personality of the cat is what really determines how they act, different breeds tend to have different traits. Maine Coons and Norwegian Forest Cats are both breeds that tend towards being more outgoing and friendly (but they have the long hair that means hairballs are pretty much a given). Our one cat, which is at least part Maine Coon, frequently greets me when I get home from work by dashing through the house in front of me to get on the bed before I get to the bedroom, and then "Squeeeeee"ing loudly at me to greet me. ("Squeee" because most Maine Coons tend to have less of a meow and more of a squeak when they talk, especially when excited.)

Good luck, whatever you decide. Make sure you plan for vet visits and costs too!


Posts: 2405 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
lieshurt
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Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The particular breed I was considering is very small (10 lbs or less) at full size and good for an apartment. They can also be trained to use a pad/box so they can stay alone for longer periods of time so that's something I'm considering.

I have a 7 lb Chihuahua who's also trained to use a pad if she can't go outside. She HATES to be alone for long periods of time. My son is home during the day right now because of summer break, so she has company. Any other time, I borrow a dog from my bff so she can have a friend to play with.

I agree with the others. Rethink getting a dog.


Walk away from anything or anyone who takes away your joy. Life is too short to put up with fools.

Posts: 13807 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
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