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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: please tell me it gets better...
whiteflower99
♀ Member
Member # 13937
Default  Posted: 11:44 PM, July 7th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i am having a mini melt down tonight. i don't know why, it just hit me that this is my life now. i am facing possible surgery for an injury that has kept me out of work for six to eight weeks, so finances are rough. i feel like poo, i saw a photo of myself from five months ago... i look like i have aged ten years. i am scared of being alone. i am tired, so tired of keeping it together for my kids. i have GAINED 15 punds cause i cant stop eating... lol i guess i am just having a grand old pity party. i have so many regrets... i wish summer was over and i was back in school.



What are you pretending not to know?

me FBS
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way; no longer defining mysel


Posts: 1747 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Greensboro, NC
bent44
♀ Member
Member # 31386
Default  Posted: 12:03 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

White flower,

I am sorry you are having a rough go tonight, and am sending you a hug. I am a full time single mom, putting on weight, aging, watching too much Law & Order, and generally confused about where life is headed... all that to say I can relate. It even sounds like our WS's could have been twins separated at birth.

Some days maybe it just needs to be enough that we are free of.....

him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis

I'll take fat, old, tired,confused, and lonely over the life I would have had/did have with XWS any day!!! Truth is, a wonderful daughter, peaceful home, awesome friends, and an honest life describe me now....not too shabby!

Hang in there, this will pass! And, yes...it will get better. It already has.


"If you marry a chicken, don't expect an eagle."


I don't know if my chicken will ever become an eagle. But rest assured, I'm going to be a phoenix. Nevermind that I am still in the ashes stage of the process.

Update...he


Posts: 730 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: California
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 5:38 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just breathe a minute.

It does get better. I promise. There's just a whole lot of shit to wade through first.

I'm a year out and things are not great by any means nor is anything settled, but I still feel better than I did a year ago. Stronger.

Hang in there.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am 6 years out from my divorce. It gets infinitely better. I had no idea how much better it could get.

6 years ago, I was enduring in-house separation and in the midst of my 2nd D-day.

Now: I'm happy living alone, sporadically dating, loving my job, enjoying my family, and doing whatever I want. Life is fabulous. There is so much joy in my life.

Give it time. You will get there.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7772 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just being away from a sex addict is better. To be away from the perversion, the filth, the dysfunction that goes along with a person who lies about everything. Just knowing that your life, difficult as it may be, is authentic and REAL is better.

I'm so sorry that life is really rough for you right now. You do at least have hope again, though. Hope for happiness, something that would not be possible living with a sex addict. You have your freedom, a priceless gift you couldn't have had before.

((((HUGS)))


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
tesla
♀ Member
Member # 34697
Default  Posted: 4:30 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((whiteflower))))


"Thou art the son and heir of a mongrel bitch." --King Lear

Posts: 4687 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Indiana
caregiver9000
♀ Member
Member # 28622
Default  Posted: 4:44 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((whiteflower))))

One thing I have learned through the ultimate horror of dday and after: It DOES get better. And that truth translates through to other bits of ickiness too. Whatever the rough patch, give it a bit of time and it does get better.

I have found two things though. I have to work on my perspective and my attitude. And I have to be realistic.

There are certainly times when life seems to sling everything at once. Counting all of the "things going on right now" only makes me feel overwhelmed. It seldom gets me the compassion or consideration I seem to think I deserve from others. I find that attacking one thing at a time and fully dealing with whatever that one thing is helps by making me feel productive and it reduces the overwhelming list by one. Also, I try to remember the things that are going right. Even sometimes I have to list them out. All of this to say, it is how I try to shift my perspective/attitude.

A bit too simple and practical but it has worked for me. When I remember to do it...

I am not trying to be preachy or lack sympathy. I have had plenty of meltdowns of my own!! But they suck and I hate that you are down. Have a few more ((hugs?))


Me: 44, independent, happy, despite co-parenting with a lower muppet
FT "Stretch" (and Skew!) ;)
DS 13 DS 10
S 5/2010
D 12/2012

Posts: 5861 | Registered: May 2010 | From: a better place
whiteflower99
♀ Member
Member # 13937
Default  Posted: 12:16 AM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone. I am sorry to admit that I am struggling. All of my emotional numbness has worn off apparently and I am running from rage to despair and back again.
I have not been able to continue with IC due to insurance issues and to top it all off I have a slipped disc that is making my legs go numb and weak.
I know it isn't a lot compared to other horror stories but damn!! I just wish I had someone to share my day with, KWIM?
Thanks for letting me vent/cry. Seriously heart you guys.

[This message edited by whiteflower99 at 12:16 AM, July 10th (Thursday)]


What are you pretending not to know?

me FBS
him idiotic sex addicted, hormone addled, porn watching, post pubescent male with a walking hard on for anything without a penis
4 kids 15 13 12 8
Earned my *F* the hard way; no longer defining mysel


Posts: 1747 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Greensboro, NC
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 1:08 AM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((whiteflower99)))
I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. I will never forget the support you showed me during my difficult time. Your responses just the right combination of righteous rage on my behalf, concern, and empathy.
It's called a rollercoaster for a reason, but it does get better. If you ever need to talk, PM me.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2335 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
Topic Posts: 9

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