Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: confusedwife32 (44902)

Off Topic Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: 6 years ago today at 5:25a.m....
Guinness23
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 1:18 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

....my mother died.

She died of congestive heart failure at 71.

Every 6 years, the dates fall on the days of the week they happened. Because I am now living by my dad in the very same bedroom my mother was taken from by the ambulance for the last time, I am triggering and very sad.

I lived in Illinois 6 years ago. On June 5, 2008, I discovered my husbands affair and tried to work it out without sharing the info with my family...least of all my mom who I knew was going down hill. From June 6 to July 7, I rarely talked to her because I KNEW she would detect something in my voice that would indicate the crap going on in my life. It is a decision I deeply regret to this day but know why I did it.

I wasn't super close to my mom. She pissed me off with her type A personality when I was in my 20's and distance was always good. BUT I DID love her dearly. She was MY mom and I was her baby...her "joy" as she called me when I was a kid as I was her last kid by default: my brother 5 years younger than me was a stillborn.

Whatever she told me I believed when I was young. If she told me the sky was purple, I believed her. She was a beautiful strong woman who was often compared in looks to Elizabeth Taylor.

At 2a.m. ish on July 8, 2008, my soon to be exh called me on my cell phone telling me that my dad was trying to call me and didn't know my cell #. Seems he tried to call the house and I was asleep. Found out in the divorce, my exh ALMOST DIDN'T try to call me and I would have missed being there when she died.

I lived in Illinois then and my parents lived 2hrs away in Indiana (where I live now). I JUST made it by 4 a.m. ish to the emergency room she was in. I got to tell her I loved her and squeeze her hand. After many tried to jolt her around ( her heart gave out) they called time of death around 5:25 a.m.

It was so surreal. My dad was there and me. She lay there with a tube in her mouth looking SO DAMN OLD. The chaplain gave her last rights. Then they told us it was time to go.

On the way back to my parents house (now mine), I called everyone I knew to get the word out. Automatic pilot.

Later that day, her body came to the funeral home she was to be waked at.

I got to see her laying in the prep room. It is a memory I will NEVER forget.

They asked my father about how to word the obit. They asked him what kind of liner she should have; coffin she should have. He just sat there in shellshocked silence. I was able to help him out on all fronts as my other two sisters were too far away at that moment to make a difference.

I picked out her clothes and her jewelry she now has on.

It is the most horrific experience of my life and one I will never forget but am glad I was there for.

All of this while knowing my marriage was disintegrating....

2008 sucked.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 501 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:41 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((((((((Guinness)))))))))))


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5062 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
lost_in_toronto
♀ Member
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Guinness))))

I know the anniversaries of traumatic events are very visceral and hard. Be gentle with yourself, honey.


Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1666 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Guinness))) thoughts with you today.


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
Getting ME back and moving to HAPPY - whatever that means
I want out!

Posts: 946 | Registered: Dec 2013
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 8:05 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HUGS)))


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Guinness)))

Wishing you some peace on this difficult day.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52120 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Guinness23
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, everyone.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 501 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
yearsofpain25
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very sorry that you are going through this and very sorry for the difficult loss of your mother.

Will be thinking of you today.

yop


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2054 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Guiness)))
CHF is an ugly disease. I deal with it every day at work. It is epidemic in our country.

Sorry you are feeling pain today.

Do something nice for you that you and your mom enjoyed, in honor of her. Embrace yourself in the good memories.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8433 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Topic Posts: 9

Return to Forum: Off Topic Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.