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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: How do meetup groups work
Acer0112
♀ Member
Member # 43241
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a little intimidated by how many different groups are out there when I search for my town. I wanted to reach out and make some single friends to do things with. All my closest friends are busy with families most of the time.

If I find a few for my area and interests, do I create a profile, join and go? Are there average ages listed, don't want to end up in the 20 something group? And honestly, is it the same 10 people that go every time?


D-Day 1/24/14
D-Day2 04/08/14, false R
17yrs married, 23yrs together
Two kids 13, 11
Divorced 10/2014

Posts: 201 | Registered: Apr 2014
TrustedHer
♂ Member
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I find a few for my area and interests, do I create a profile, join and go?

Yes.
Are there average ages listed, don't want to end up in the 20 something group?

Not usually. Some groups make it more obvious based on their group like Mud Volleyball, Rock Climbing, white Water Rafting. Others, like Film or Music or Dancing not so much.
And honestly, is it the same 10 people that go every time?

Some groups, yes. Others, no. Some groups are singles on the prowl, others are people just out to socialize.

The only "on the prowl" groups I found pretty much made that clear on their Meetup page, though.


Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5181 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Lonelygirl10
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 8:15 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly, it's fine to join a few and check them out. No pressure if you don't like it.

Some of them are based on activities (like running or biking), and have varying ages. Some are more geared toward age groups (Singles over 50), and some are just socializing groups. I joined one that is for people new to town. There were people in their 20s and people in their 40s. When I first started going, I didn't meet anyone I clicked with. I kept going though, and some girls my age moved to town and joined. Now we organize our own events and don't go as much to meetup. When I look at the page, it's a whole new group of people going now. So I think some people use it to meet people, and then stop going. Others continue to go. It just depends on what you want to do.

I've joined some groups and never attended an event because it didn't look like my thing.


30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1212 | Registered: Jul 2013
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I joined a meetup group and we did things like ice skating, horseback riding, bowling, a cookout. Everyone was really cool and generous. Nobody tried to hit on me or anything.


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3415 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 10:10 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You create a profile, pick a group, RSVP and attend.

I've joined 5, and am active in 2. One is for social singles 45+, another is a dance group. I'm new to this city. I'm not looking to date right now. I'm looking to create a local base of people to do things with. This works for me, I'm finding my way around a large city and meeting people in the process learning local hot spots vs the tourist areas.

Go enjoy, and don't forget to report back. we love hearing about new adventures.


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5279 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:11 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The one I go to regularly (they don't meet all that often, I go everytime I'm free--so far it's been three times over about six months) has a recurring cast of characters but I fit into it easily despite being new; it doesn't feel 'cliquey'. We are mostly in our late 20s/early 30s but there is an older man who comes and is welcomed with open arms.

There is never anything to be lost by trying it out!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 5:52 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I joined several, mostly topic-based (photography, etc). I find that a few people of the one I frequent the most always seem to also be on some of the others. It's nice because it helps break the ice on the other groups. There is definitely a core of people that will always show up (i.e. the organizers and their closer friends), but there will be a series of people who show up on and off depending on what it's about and their availability.

On the one I frequent, many people there have become pretty good pals of mine, and I've done things with the guys in it separately and a dinner or two (as friends, no real "date" with women who are becoming cordial friends of mine. It's cool. We bounce ideas, some of them decide to tell me about their dates and new boyfriends and ask me for a guy's opinion.. I'm friend-zoned and could care less about it.

I have no current interest in dating, and I'm very focused on work and caring for my kids so no real romantic interest in that department yet. Seems to work well for me. It's boosting my confidence - I never felt right about talking to women socially at all when married, so it's a nice change to be able to tell a girl, "hey let's go see this movie/for coffee/whatever" and just talk. 18+ years since I've done that, and it seems to me that without my internal "must date" worry I can do it without the gripping panic I had before I met STBX (I was, and still am, horribly shy).

At least in my experience that's what the Meetup concept has brought. I call it "insta-friends". A no pressure, group and do neat things together, come if you like with no guilt if you can't, home-base and list of social activities. By now many are not instafriends anymore. They're friends.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
BrokenSpirit50
♀ Member
Member # 34485
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi "Acer" all you can do is try the group. If you don't like it you don't ever have to attend again.

I joined a singles group before I met my BF that included 30's,40's and 50's. We had a good time. No pressure and they planned way more events than I could possibly attend.

I am also a current member of a group which happens to be mostly women. I've met some really nice people.

I introduced a friend at work to meetup groups because she is single and was complaining of getting bored. She now runs her own group and holds lots of outings monthly.

good luck


Me BS 54
Him WH 55
M 32 yrs - together 40 yrs
Kids 0
D-Day 12-18-11 (WH didn't want to R)
Divorced 6-21-12 Done!

If the grass is greener on the other side....water your own lawn.


Posts: 239 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Midwest
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:11 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just wanted to say I am so jealous you have that option. I live in a small town and there aren't any meet-up groups. Church, bars. <End pity party>


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5297 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Kernel,

Start a meetup in your area. I'm willing to bet some others in your area are having the same issues meeting people.

Hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5279 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
neverbeokay
Member
Member # 8275
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also live in a large metro area where there are thousands of groups. They do often state the ages of the group. I joined a group that is large (1000+ people) and have multiple activities each week. I have been to a few and it does tend to have a core group but a lot of people drop in occasionally or are completely new at each event. Everyone has been really friendly and welcoming. A lot of people have become friends outside of the group and do other stuff together as well. It is almost all single people but not a dating group, although I have been hit on a couple of times. Most of the people are divorced and just want to widen their social circle. The first few times I went were just okay but as I have started to meet more people I am having more fun.

Posts: 306 | Registered: Sep 2005
Topic Posts: 11

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