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Newest Member: gloumama (44930)

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User Topic: So this is 35...
Gottagetthrough
Member
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 8:23 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok. So I chose a path for my life.

Initially, I was in an MA program and looking to complete my PhD, have kids, and be a working mom

I completed my MA, got pregnant, and never went back

I became a homeschool mom last year, and after some hefty family crises these past years, I feel that for MY little family, I need to be at home right now. Its not the answer for everyone, my mom worked and that was right for my parents.

Being a SAHM never bothered me until recently. Now that I am 35, I am seeing a lot of my friends who are working moms get to some great places in their career... I have friends who just passed their medical boards, who just got tenure, and who have made partner in law firms.

And... I feel sort of left behind.


I have to keep telling myself 2 things... this is my path... don't try to live someone else's life! Right here, right now, I am where I need to be.

2- Life changes in an instant, and in 5 or 10 years, I may very well be in a PhD program or working at a fantastic job.

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 8:34 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 1379 | Registered: Jan 2010
gardenparty
Member
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 9:26 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At 39 I went back to school to be a plumber/gasfitter. I am now a red seal plumber/journeyman gasfitter and just became the first female project manager in my company. I am 47. You have a ton of time ahead of you to do things career wise. Do not make the mistake of thinking that other peoples life paths are the right one for you.


divorced!

Posts: 2676 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 10:13 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with garden party. I had my kids young, so I never finished college. I worked in local govt working my way up thru the support ranks because I had to work to support my family. I was a records manager over a division working on a project and was offered a job in software development for my area of specialty two years ago making six figures which was a huge raise for me. I believe I'm the only person in our company without a bachelors degree and I'm doing well performance wise.

My point is that picking a path doesn't necessarily limit your options. I'm not comparing paths, but there may be other options in your future based on you.

[This message edited by persevere at 10:14 PM, July 8th (Tuesday)]


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4516 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 6:08 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sometimes life doesn't go according to plan.

I am 33, have a good education, all while working my way up the ladder for the past 15 years. I make very good money, after starting at $8/hour many years ago.

And all I wish I had was a family and I would love to be a SAHM. That is all I have wanted all along, and it never came to fruition for me. I feel left behind.

I am not wanting to discount your feelings. I just think there are very few people who get to have it "all" and get to choice what they want to do vs. what they have to do.

I do hope that in the future you get back on your path and get the career you want. It's never too late!


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2229 | Registered: Feb 2010
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have similar thoughts at times and I am 48. If I continued teaching full time I'd be retired now with a very good pension. I stopped on and off to have the two kids, and when we moved a good distance away I decided I didn't want to commute and leave the kids in daycare. I see all the people I was teaching with all those years ago retiring and all those years of a fulfilling career under their belts.

I switched to working for a non-profit for flexible hours and the ability to work from home. I am still doing that after 15 years, in addition to other part-time retail jobs.

I know I haven't fulfilled my potential. I have a Master's Degree and am not putting it to use. However, I like my work and the flexibility that it continues to give me. I enjoy working for a non-profit and have been able to do good work in a field that I've always been interested in.

Life flies by and I often wonder if I've made good choices professionally, or if I'm lazy or afraid to step out of my comfort zone. Now I'm 48 and I guess I have to come to terms with my decisions.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37574 | Registered: Sep 2007
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:14 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Being partner or having your PhD doesn't matter one bit if you can't look back and know that you were the best parent that you could be.

like I always say when I'm dead and gone no one is going to say wow she was a great nurse, she gave 50 hours a week. No the people that matter are going to say My mom was always willing to take a day off to have fun and was always willing to drop everything for any fun adventure.

You only go around once make it worth the ride!


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8496 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm 34, have a fairly good job, and would love to be a SAHM.

Grass is always greener and all that.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6728 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
Topic Posts: 7

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