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User Topic: Struggling
Mama_of_3_Kids
♀ Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 9:52 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep telling myself that working full time will eventually get easier--a year into it and it's no easier than it was on Day 1. I simply force myself to go to work everyday and give it everything I can, because I know I have to. I don't hate my job, but it is fairly stressful with a lot of demand on me. From Aug-March, I work at least two evenings, plus 40 hours/week (sometimes more than this, depending on the week)...oh the joys of being Salary.

Since Do3K became Youth Leader, the demands have increased on not only him, but also on me(especially with organization and written forms of communication, such as permission slips and letters to parents). It's great that he's been placed into this role; it REALLY fits him well and he absolutely LOVES it I am very proud of him and his passion for it, but the added demand on me is difficult, at times.

The part that I am REALLY struggling with, though, is when I see/hear certain people complain about what their kid did or how they "want to send their kid to boot camp". I would LOVE to be a SAHM, again! I NEVER complained about it, when I was one--it's a hard gig, but I truly LOVED every.single.minute. Even the, "OMGsh, kid had me up until 0200 puking and is now super whiny," moments. It's hard when I see/hear this, because I want nothing more than to be home with my kids.

Being a SAHM just isn't an option, right now. We are very close to paying off all of our debt...we currently have one loan and student loans standing between us and freedom from debt. My student loans are half of my income, every month, and we simply cannot make do without me working. Change of job is difficult, although I have been looking, because I am a Registered Nurse trying to find employment in another field (at this point, nursing isn't an option unless it's as a school nurse, or in a Dr's office--both are few and far between type jobs).

I am feeling rather stuck, as my heart is in one place but my "have to" is in another. I know many, if not most, moms face this struggle and I'm not alone in it. I am just struggling especially hard with it, tonight


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11583 | Registered: Dec 2009
confused girl
♀ Member
Member # 10649
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, July 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand that you are trying to pay off your debt and your load will be lighter when that is done. Why are you limiting yourself to nursing only in a school or doctor's office. The wages are market based and you would earn significantly more if you worked in a hospital or nursing home. You could pay off your debt more quickly that way.

As I re-read that it sounds a bit harsh and I certainly don't intend it in that manner. I just wondered.

Hugs to you as you continue on this journey.


Love always hopes.

Posts: 1382 | Registered: May 2006
Mama_of_3_Kids
♀ Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 6:47 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's a long story, some has to do with reasons that will move this thread to G, while others have to do with this: my grandparents both died from cancer, within two months of each other. Then I worked Tele for a year and ICCU for about four months. I was and still am very burnt out...I cannot go to work knowing that there's a very real chance that one of the patients will code. After my grandparents passed, it became increasingly hard to run a code and keep my crap together. I know there are places like M/S, where codes are few and far between, but I worked there for five years, while in college, and hated every minute.


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11583 | Registered: Dec 2009
confused girl
♀ Member
Member # 10649
Default  Posted: 7:15 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Some nurses thrive on the adrenaline rush of running a code - some not. I am glad there are all kinds of nurses. We need them all.

I know some days are tougher than others. Blessings to you.


Love always hopes.

Posts: 1382 | Registered: May 2006
unfound
♀ Member
Member # 12802
Default  Posted: 9:11 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh mama ((( )))). I'd pick you right up, squeeze you tight and pat your head if I could .

I get it. I'm doing the same for mostly the same reasons. while the job I have is amazing and I love it, I miss being home (even though my boys don't "need" or even want * me around sometimes so much anymore). Still, there are days I have to remind myself why I'm doing it, put on adult clothes and grudgingly walk out the door.

just because you're doing it for the right reasons (and you are), doesn't make it easy all the time.

once you're debt free and have options as to what you want to do, I'll be right there whooping and hollering the loudest for you.. till then it just plain sucks, but I'll walk along with you through it, k?


ka-mai
*******************
From time to time, I do consider that I might be mad. Like any self-respecting lunatic, however, I am always quick to dismiss any doubts about my sanity. DK

Posts: 14861 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: mercury's underboob
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((HUGS)) I feel you.

Would love to SAH but my husband is self-employed and my insurance here is too good to give up (at least for now).

I hope you're able to find a way to go back to SAH soon.


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6805 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Mo3K)))

I know your kids will appreciate how hard you work for them and it is great that you are modeling responsible fiscal priorities to them. They know how much you love them even though you are working full-time.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4196 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
inconnu
♀ Member
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 12:12 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Mo3k))) it's tough being between the rock and the hard place. Even though my kids are grown and don't need me at home, I miss being a sahm, every day. The long weekends at home make it worse for me, since it gives me a bigger taste of what I'm missing.

I know, not helpful to your situation. But at least you know you're not alone.


Say what you wanna say and let the words fall out...honestly
I wanna see you be brave

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect


Posts: 12164 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 4:13 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Mama)))

Sorry sweetie.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24591 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
thebighurt
♀ Member
Member # 34722
Default  Posted: 5:38 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Mama))) I was a SAHM until the youngest was in school. I know what you mean. I loved it and felt bad that they didn't get to come to our house after school and that I wasn't the one there for them.

Like you, I knew it was the only way. Otherwise, we might not have had a home for them to come to. You are doing the responsible thing. Sadly, telling yourself that doesn't make it any easier or better.

Luckily, I *mostly* had jobs I liked, but that didn't make the changed situation at home any easier to take. Sometimes, being a grownup just stinks.


Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

Posts: 2381 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: the Other Side
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mama I have been in your work shoes.
Brush up your resume and start looking at options you haven't considered in your career. I was an ICU nurse and still 14 years later still think like one. Giving it up was hard but I couldn't do the mandatory 12 hour shifts with the kids being toddlers it just didn't work.
I did a summer of agency while I looked for something that was hourly and 8 hour shifts. Ended up in endoscopy. What a freaking awesome job. Low stress, fast pace, hands on, rare call that someone was almost always ready to pick up.
Being a nurse really does give you waaaaaaayyyyyy more options than most other careers. Most hospitals and offices are looking for RN to do care management or case management, your experience is a shoe in for it. With the changes that have come with medicare and ACO's they are looking for any way to keep folks out of the hospital and that is a ton of patient teaching with the flexibility of being salaried.
Brush up the resume get on monster and start looking. You will find something.
It's frustrating I know but I absolutely love what I do and the stress level is nonexistent.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8691 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Mama_of_3_Kids
♀ Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 9:14 PM, July 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, everyone.

I put in my application for about 10 positions, today (all either Case Management, Education, or RN Office jobs). They're out there, but they're also highly sought after. I am going to keep looking; in the mean time my boss and I will be having a come to Jesus discussion, b/c the demand is more than is reasonable for one person.


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11583 | Registered: Dec 2009
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 8:25 AM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good for you Mama - In my area it used to be to get into case management you had to have experience, but now the demand is much higher.

I currently do Outpatient Care Management. I work in an MD office, and 25% of what I do is wellness stuff for employees and families. 75% of what I do is with seniors and management of chronic illnesses, and making sure they have what they need to be successful at home.

If full time is too much some systems offer job sharing in these areas too. I worked with 4 girls who did this, between the 4 of them they = 2 FTE's.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8691 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Tammy1
♀ Member
Member # 43280
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand. I want to work part-time, but in teaching it's hard to find. I'm so stressed out and not looking forward to the school year starting again soon.


BW: 40 (me)
WH: 42 (him)
Married 18 years
3 kids
D-Day: 4/7/14, 9 month LTA
Together- trying to R

Posts: 71 | Registered: Apr 2014
purplejacket4
♀ Member
Member # 34262
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know where you live but make sure you investigate the college health's in your area. I'd live someone with your qualifications. No coding here just lots and lots of STDs and URIs!


Me: BS 45
Her: fWS 48 (same sex partner)
Together: 18 years now (both MDs)
OW: meh so what 40s PhD
DD1: 10/30/11EA; DD2: 11/10/11 Had ONS; TT until 12/26/11; broke NC 6/12; NC again 7/12; R-ish

Posts: 2239 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Great Southwest
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Best of luck, M_o_3_K, and a hug: (((M_o_3_K))).


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10341 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Mama_of_3_Kids
♀ Member
Member # 26651
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone.

Without giving away where I work...part of my job is to work with kids, during the summer, doing a one hour teaching session. One of the places I am going is in the poorest part of the city (which, coincidentally is the second poorest neighborhood in the state). We are talking about making good choices (teamwork, being different, being good stewards of resources, saving money, etc); today, we talked about saving money and how that we can buy the things we need, and sometimes what we want, but that it's also important to save money. I gave each of them a piggy bank (donated by a local bank) and we gave the piggy's collars, with bells (a piece of ribbon with a bell on it). These kids LOVED their piggy's and kept saying, "Thank you SO MUCH, Miss Mo3K!" I absolutely love these kids and I am sad that I only have two weeks left with them

It occurred to me, on the way home, that *THIS* is where my heart is...it is with kids who are at risk for drug/alcohol abuse, poverty, etc. I absolutely LOVE this part of my job. I am trying to think if there are any areas of nursing that I could work in a place where I can make that kind of a difference. I'm considering WIC and low income clinics...any other ideas???


Me: FBW/30 Him: FWH/33 The kidlets: DS13, DS10, and DD8 The hounds: Four Shih Tzu's
Finally, completely R'd
Clothed in strength and dignity, with nothing to fear, she smiles when she thinks about the future.~Proverbs 31:25

Posts: 11583 | Registered: Dec 2009
Topic Posts: 17

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