[This message edited by whymewhyus at 7:25 AM, July 9th (Wednesday)]
The reason he continues to have affairs is that he has an issue that he is not dealing with. He is shifting the blame to you and you are nailing yourself to the cross. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Please stop blaming yourself and start putting the blame on your husband who treats the office like a singles bar.
Look into the healing library for the 180; this will help you take the focus away from him and start thinking about yourself. Read up on some posts from those of us that have walked in your shoes. Healing takes a long time, 2-5 years and it is a bumpy, ugly ride even with a spouse who is remorseful. Your husband is not remorseful, he is upset that he got caught. There is a difference. He needs to be looking for a new job or perhaps a transfer to a another department. He must get away from the OW. If not, every day that he goes to work will hurt you all over again. It is no way to live...
OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.
Hopeful but cautious
It takes a long time for the hurt to heal, stay or go. But it WILL heal. This overwhelming pain is not here forever. Take comfort in knowing that.
I hope he will stay and do the work to heal your M. Have you ordered the book "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass or "How to heal your spouse from your affair"?