This is a tough one, CJ, but I will be as gentle as I can.
I am realy starting to get the feeling she still hiding things.
She is. CJ, she needs INTENSE help - yes, she may be showing remorse (could also be regret that she's been caught and cannot live her fantasy lifestyle and still have the comforts and security of home) - but this is not an overnight process - it will take YEARS of intensive IC for her (and, if you're going to give this M a go, IC for you too). MC is futile unless the WS is remorseful and willing to do the hard work.
I am at a point of laying down some demands, requests that are totally not negotiobale and would be considered a deal breaker.
Again, as gently as I can...
You've done this...you split then let her back. She is "cake eating" - you need to put on your proverbial "bitch boots" (I guess that's okay to say to a guy) and close the bakery.
Crazy thing is I still don't want to loose her.
CJ, it's not crazy. But know that she knows you don't want to lose her and will put up with a lot of shit. It makes me very sad to see her trample on you in this manner because you seem like a really kind man and a great husband.
She aranged that herself without me forceing her, which I guess is a good sign.
She could also be placating you because you're becoming a little bit more forceful.
In my very humble opinion, I think she wants to have both worlds...and she's feeling regret (google regret versus remorse)...I do not think she is a bad person, but she is very broken, and you alone absolutely, positively cannot fix her. Love cannot fix all things. And honestly, if she's not truthful in IC, they cannot help her.
I am sorry to come off so negative - I really hate doing that in the Just Found Out (JFO) forum; call me devil's advocate.
One more thing - you can file for D, but it doesn't mean you have to actually divorce. It may help pull her head from her butt to see you will no longer be second in your M.