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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Is this normal? Mortgage questions during D
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So - I'm still waiting to hear from the L, but my anxiety level is a bit high at the moment, so I wanted to get some input from the SI expert panel.

WH is working on buying a house. There has been lots of talk about me needing to sign away dower rights. No problem there. However, today my L emailed me the paperwork to look over at the end of the day. When I looked at it - I'm listed as a borrower on the mortgage. Is this a normal part of the whole buying a house during D thing?

Trying not to get my feathers ruffled about WH possible trying to pull a fast one on me.

Anyone have any thoughts?


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my state:

You would need to sign an affidavit that you were aware he is purchasing property in his name only. You would also not be on his mortgage.

I'm thinking that he checked married on the application and he was prompted to add your name.

YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE ON HIS MORTGAGE FOR HIS NEW PLACE!!!!! I can't stress that loud enough.

Hugs,

K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5550 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't sign!!!
He's putting you on the mortgage for HIS house.
DONT DO IT!!!!


Me - 42
SorryInSac (STBX WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Done

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity/typos.


Posts: 6691 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks K and Gaby - My L sent it over to me and only said, "advise.".

I think he wants to make sure I didn't know my name was on there before he rips WH's atty a new one. (He's only been retained for a week! Already sick of my WH, I think....he's trying to play catch up with everything that has happened.) Especially since they have dragged their feet getting us the papers and now this shit is in there!

I think....idk....

[This message edited by nekorb at 8:44 PM, July 10th (Thursday)]


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My L sent it over to me and only said, "advise.".

My attorney would do this sometimes. It was usually because something didn't sound right to him. I would just let your attorney know this was not something you knew about and you aren't agreeing to it. Don't sign!


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

:::sigh:::

I'm beginning to anticipate the shitstorm that will ensue if I don't sign the papers tomorrow night.

WH is supposed to close next week and I won't be available to sign if they don't get it together tomorrow.

Trying not to let my mind get away from me. Not being successful.

[This message edited by nekorb at 10:14 PM, July 10th (Thursday)]


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
NoMorDeceit
♀ Member
Member # 23547
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry. Do not sign anything. Why would he attempt to buy a house with you on the mortgage?? WTH? Something doesn't smell right with that, he knew you'd find out, he knew you'd pull the plug on it and now he can cry he has no where to go. You need to be sure your atty is on this like yesterday.


FBS, been through the D marathon too.
Many D Days in April 2009
Multiple affairs, LTAs, and many OWs
Reconciled... There is hope! :)


Posts: 568 | Registered: Apr 2009
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh HELL to the NO!!!

Refuse to sign ANYTHING until you and your L go thru the paperwork line by line. You do not under any circumstance need to be or should be a borrower on his new home. Too bad if he gets upset, he should have 1) kept his dick in his pants and 2) paid better attention to the whole "buying a home" business so that you were NOT listed as a borrower. Period. This is ALL on him. NOT YOUR FAULT.

If he decides to throw a fit, walk away or hang up or whatever. You don't have to take his abuse any longer -- he fired you from that job.

((hugs))


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17695 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No No No No No No No!!!!!

You do not sign that!

As matter of a fact, I would call the mortgage company and tell them, you are not signing anything and you have not agreed to be a borrower on the loan.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 11:10 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To reiterate what everyone else has said, FUCKING HELL NO!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1265 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 11:21 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm starting to feel like y'all are saying this is not normal. I thought maybe it had something to do with us still being married?

I will say there are a shitload of other papers in there to sign as well....there is supposed to be a dower agreement, but that's missing....I thought all I was signing was the dower...not all this other stuff!

The other thing that is "off" to me is that it says the property is being purchased as an investment property, not to be used as a primary residence. Wtf?

Apparently, my L is choosing not to work 24/7, so I will have to wait until tomorrow to hear from him.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Technically, he should not be buying anything until you are divorced. Nothing is supposed to change until the divorce is over. I would suggest freezing any other assets and don't forget about the retirement plans because he will drain those.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Peridot brings up a good point. Where is he getting the down payment from? Marital assets???? Any use of marital assets during a divorce should be questioned and/or stopped by your attorney unless it is being legally offset in some way in your settlement.


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 23,18 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1265 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So he wants the benefit of the marriage without the marriage? I don't think so...
You don't need to exit the marriage any additional responsibility. What an ass!!!


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4672 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Peridot brings up a good point. Where is he getting the down payment from? Marital assets???? Any use of marital assets during a divorce should be questioned and/or stopped by your attorney unless it is being legally offset in some way in your settlement.

Yes, it's coming out of a joint account but is being accounted for.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 12:33 AM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope you are taking an equal amount of whatever he is taking out of the account and putting it in another account in just your name.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4801 | Registered: Feb 2008
momentintime
♀ Member
Member # 16394
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he put you on the mortgage papers, is your name on the deed? If not, he is having you take half the financial responsibility, while leaving you off getting any money if he sells. WTH! If you are divorcing you don't want to be tied financially to anything WITH HIM!

Do NOT sign anything. He is the one on a deadline, NOT you. Don't be rushed or pushed to do something without conferring with your lawyer.


BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl


Posts: 3007 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: New York
monarchwings
♀ Member
Member # 39891
Default  Posted: 5:28 AM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I see two significant issues here. IF he is only a week away from closing, he would have had to sign your name and had your credit run to.prequalify for the loan. Also, an investment property requires a 20% downpayment vs a 5% down owner occupied loan. That is equity you are putting in from marital assets. Third, if you are on the loan you are on the deed. No mortgage company is going to list you responsible for the loan but not the deed, not these days. They are scrutinizing everything. If he throws a fit, its because he got caught trying to slide things by. If would be cheaper to by owner occupied, less down less interest. Just say you are divorcing, not growing a business.

Posts: 118 | Registered: Jul 2013
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:23 AM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If he throws a fit, its because he got caught trying to slide things by.

This is exactly what I'm afraid of. WH trying to slide things by. It's his MO!!

Something just seems off here. I was hoping I just didn't know about the weirdness of buying a house during divorce/dissolution.

My atty has court today, so no clue when I'm going to hear from him at the moment.

I'm feeling like I'm going to have to make that neurotic phone call to his office even though I know he isn't going to be there.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 6:45 AM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Does the non-applicant affidavit make the situation seem any better? There is one of those in there.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Topic Posts: 75
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