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Newest Member: Sunnyhopeful82 (45341)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Not sure how to feel about this...
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Recently, I was told that my ex's OW wanted to go to my kids' events with my ex. He refused to let her. He said that he was a crappy husband, so the least he could do is try to be a good ex-husband. He insisted, "I won't do that to Harriet."

He was a truly crappy husband. And I think he tries to be a decent ex, although he misses the mark a lot. Not sure how to feel about that. Thankful? Not really. I guess I just hope he keeps it up - he would like us to be friends but that's not going to happen.

Too little too late, I suppose is what sums it up.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 492 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess I'd be thankful I don't have to see OW at my kids' stuff, but wouldn't get all soft feeling about your ex. He SHOULD be doing it (being a good ex).

The utility company doesn't call you to sing your praises everytime you pay a bill on time, do they? No - because that's what you are supposed to be doing.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with nekorb. Your Ex is just doing what he's supposed to do. They are his kids, not hers. She is nothing to them. The kids' events are for the kids.

Honestly, this is probably more about your ex and he's just using you as an excuse. OW is probably pushing to formalize her relationship with your Ex. "Why don't you introduce me to the kids? Why don't I go to family/kid events with you? Blah blah blah." It's easier to say, "Oh I couldn't do that to Harriet" than it is to say "I'm not ready to take that step with you."


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1861 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, July 10th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After the craziness I dealt with in how self-absorbed my XWH has been the past three years, I think it's actually almost, somewhat decent that he'd say that. Does it make up for the rest of the damage? Hell no....but if he sticks to it good for him. Though sadly, most WS' don't follow thru on much that seems even slightly positive.

My XWH too recently thought we could be friends - thought we should "get together to catch up" I told him that we are not friends - my friends don't treat me the way he has, and left it at that. Haven't heard from him since.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4607 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 4

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