We continue to work on our relationship,ourselves, and with our counselor, and all the challenges that come with parenting two young( ish) children while both working in full-time careers. A lot of the time we are doing well. He is committed again to our marriage. Me, too. Yet, I just broke down in tears for the first time in a long time, and I'm not entirely sure why. I think I'm just sad that our marriage and family (and my mind) are tainted by the affair. Usually I take the outlook of "look what we were able to build together" approach, but tonight I feel sabotaged by the "why does this have to be part of our relationship?" feeling.
I so wish he hadn't chosen to have an affair. I'm not looking for anything in particular with this post, I just needed to get my thought out there.
I think the best thing you can do is communicate this to your H. You don't have to know why to share your hurt with him. It's still a process and sometimes the pain resurfaces.
If I had a better handle on my own pain I'd have better advice but want you to feel heard and understood.
Take good care of you!
It's painful and sad and I was pregnant too.so when I like at my little boy it hurts me deeply.
You seem like you have come such a long way,you are together and working at it.
Share with your husband how you feel.
There's bound to be times when it hits you hard,but the fact you aren't like it all the time.
Is such a great sign.
Yes its tainted it,sadly.
But look how strong you have been to work through it together.
Now you have a stronger bond,understanding of each other and marriage. You have both worked hard on your marriage because you want to.
I am so sorry that looking at your little boy is painful, and I get it. All I can say is that I don't think it will always be painful. The joy of him, and memories that you build with him, and his little personality as it emerges, will dominate what you feel when you look at him. I used to feel so sad looking at my innocent baby girl, and then the fact that I felt sad made me even sadder, and sometimes angrier. Now (and for a while now), she is so much herself that that's what I see. (((lttlemiss1)))