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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: CS and Joint Account
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, STBX is trying to use the joint account to transfer CS.

We are 3 months into ordered CS.

The joint bank accounts were never really used by either of us, so they have very very low balances.

I did have to deposit the tax refund into it. I withdrew my half of the money, and left his and never touched it.

He is using the account. I am treating the joint account like it has ebola or something

The first month, there was money in the joint account from tax refund. He said "Take CS from the joint account" I did, with his email saying I could and memoed the withdrawl.

Then the account was back to a low balance, he should start sending me checks? Right?

Now, he is transferring money from his single account into the joint account. Ugh. I don't like it. On the one hand... I don't have to worry about bouncing checks. On the other hand, I feel like the account should be not touched because you are just asking for trouble.

And here is another thing, the last 2 payments, he is transferring the exact amount for child support, but not telling me to withdraw it. (So I am not withdrawing it, obviously, it is his money until he tells me to)

I feel like it is a game. When I go to the judge and say "STBX is X months behind", he is going to say "The money is right there!". And I will say "He never gave it to me". And around and around we go.

I hate this crap.

Any advice?

[This message edited by littlefoggy at 8:22 AM, July 11th (Friday)]


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 498 | Registered: Nov 2013
osxgirl
♀ Member
Member # 8795
Default  Posted: 8:59 AM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly - wage garnishment.

I know that a lot of times, the person paying the CS feels it is some sort of indictment. Sometimes it is.

But it could (and should) be looked at like any other deduction. Taxes are automatically taken out. So are payments to retirement funds, health insurance, etc.

Having it automatically deducted from the paycheck takes the emotion and uncertainty out of it. It also means there is no reason for misunderstanding or confusion.

----

There is another reason to NOT do this through the joint account. Unless your bank does something different than most, there is nothing to show WHO took the money out of the account.

There is nothing stopping him from depositing the money, later withdrawing it, and claiming that you are the one that took it out. That he essentially "paid" you, because the money was withdrawn from the joint account.

In other words, just showing deposits and withdrawals to/from a joint account does not show payment, and doesn't provide proof one way or the other. It might be ok as long as he is paying, but if he decides to stop, you could have some big problems.


Posts: 2412 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: Maryland
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well you don't want to waste time and money with lawyers if you don't have to. I'd email him each time you see an exact deposit into the account for the ordered CS. The email can be short.

Is the deposit of $X into the joint account earmarked for the ordered CS? Please confirm this so I know how to treat it.

You'll create your own paper trail that will either show things are working or that he is being a butt head. Right now you want to put in the effort that shows that you are trying to be civil and work things out. In your finalized decree, you should arrange for a method of payment either in checks, cashiers checks, court ordered employeer withheld and deposited.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53020 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
kidshurttoo
♀ Member
Member # 26853
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex and I use our old joint account and it works just fine. There is records of the deposits and your withdrawls. If the account is only being used for CS, then it should not be a problem. Why would you assume you can't touch the money, when he has transferred it there for the purpose of you taking it for CS? I guess if there are other transactions going through I could see it could get messy but to me, this is a convenient way for us to transfer the money without incurring lots of charges. Wage garnishment, cs enforcement could be used if things aren't amicable and he isn't paying the right amounts or on-time, but from your statement it sounds like he is paying correct? I dunno, works for me.

Posts: 314 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Canada
badd
♀ Member
Member # 23468
Default  Posted: 9:43 AM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

take the money out send him an email about it after you take it. Don't give him a chance to say in court you obviously did not need it there it was and you did not take it.

ETA And YES! wage garnishment!

[This message edited by badd at 9:44 AM, July 11th (Friday)]


Posts: 132 | Registered: Apr 2009
rescuedog
♀ New Member
Member # 39171
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took my ex's name off the joint account and authorized his personal account at the same bank to transfer in but unable to withdraw. CS was the only thing the account was used for and he had no access to it.


The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog. - Mark Twain

Posts: 31 | Registered: May 2013
StillLivin
♀ Member
Member # 40229
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's not a good idea to have joint anything if separated. I couldn't take his name off, so I closed.
If you do not have finances specifically addressed, creditors can still come after you if your name is on it too.
A friend had her CS money taken out of the bank because it had her estranged husband's name on it too. I don't know the particulars of what creditors or other CS was garnished, but it would be a shame if he posted your CS and someone else got it because that account had his name on it and he was sued.
Most states do garnishment. I would have his check garnished and put into an account in your name only.


I don't need further confirmation of what a fuckwit he is. I already have plenty, thanks very much. -SBB
D: 7/2/2014

Posts: 2501 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: AZ
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's not a good idea to have joint anything if separated.
^^^This. Take your name off the account. It can get messy in the future. Just have him write you a check or he can set up bill payment through his bank to draft you a check every month. If necessary have his paycheck garnished. If your WH is an asshole then he could decide that since you didn't take the money out then you don't need the child support or any other stupid thing.

Take your name off the account and deposit the checks into your own account.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1924 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
MinorBee
♀ Member
Member # 17895
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I took my ex's name off the joint account and authorized his personal account at the same bank to transfer in but unable to withdraw. CS was the only thing the account was used for and he had no access to it.

My ex and I do something similar with my alimony. We both have accounts at the same bank. He deposits money directly into an account that is only mine so once it's there he can't remove it.


previously married for 20 years
DDays: which time?, OW's which one?

Posts: 457 | Registered: Jan 2008
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 10:37 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Open a separate account, send him an email with the new account details and tell him he needs to send the CS to this account.

Close the joint account.

Wage garnishment is the best option if it's available.

It was the best thing I ever did. It took me out of the equation. My exwh seems to think that CS is money for me So he kept threatening that he wouldn't pay, stopped and started payments and was generally messing me around because he could.

I contacted the CS agency here and allowed them to start collecting the payment on my behalf. X was pissed that I did this as he lost control of the situation so he then stopped paying all together . Now after much searching the CS agency is now garnishing his wages there is no guarantee that my children will get this money but the chase is now removed from me having to fight him for it.

He now has to fight with the CS agency not me.

It has brought me so much peace.

[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 10:37 PM, July 11th (Friday)]


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1382 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
littlefoggy
♀ Member
Member # 41429
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I sent him an email, yesterday. No reply, yet.

Called the bank. I can close the account. So I told him that I wanted to. And that I would prefer checks for now.

No wage garnishment here,that I know of. I wanted to go through our CS enforcement but the L said do it this way for now and then after D is final, go through them. I am sure she has some master plan.

I also asked what the plan was with the money as Moo suggested.

Thanks for your replies!


Me: BW 30
WH 37
DDay 11/12/13
Divorcing

Posts: 498 | Registered: Nov 2013
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thought I read you said it is an ordered amount?

So there should be no problem if you take money out, he knows what it's for. Maybe just paper trail everything you do on that account and if you can, don't use the account or attach anything else to it on your end if you want.

If you could have him do direct deposit from where he works, it works wonders although is a step below getting the state involved.

I understand there are different tax laws when that comes into place. This puts Perv in line. I try not to hold it over his head, but he does know it's MY call if he screws up anymore to press the dinger and activate it.

It's so much learning but we have more "power" on our side than we start out knowing. I don't like to say power, but rights...or something.


Ashland 13

You gave me nothing and now it's all I've got - Bono

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2366 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Topic Posts: 12

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