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Newest Member: 4ever2gether (45763)

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User Topic: just my imagination?
hihn
♀ Member
Member # 43986
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After reading so many stories of discovery day I have come to believe the number one way for a cheater to get caught is through texting? Am I right? My WH during his A even asked me "does it bother you that O_ _ _ & I text so much?". To which I replied "should it?". Just a few days after that he made the mistake of leaving his cell phone on the desk & she texted him. The text was in response to them previously making plans to moving her in as soon as I moved out. Those two morons actually thought they were going to live together in the house I bought, in the better of the two houses that I owned. The smaller house wasn't good enough for her. I texted her back, you will never come within 20 feet of any property I own. My WH was a minimal contributor when it came to financial, emotional or physical support in any thing for us as a couple. It started 25 years ago & just got worse through the years. But he loved bragging to others that he owned 2 houses. For which he only paid 1/2 of the mortgage on one of the houses, and half of the utility bills for one houses. Repairs, improvements, furniture, you name it I paid for. I got the pleasure of paying for everything else. Now I get to pay for his crappy choice in women too. The OW has stalker tendencies. Is a considerably stupid, money grubbing, warped, NPD, HO with sadomasochistic tendencies & expensive tastes. A sex addicts dream come true. I could groan on for some time about how intentionally absent he was in the financial department & many other departments, but I will spare the other details for now. FYI I just sold the other house two days ago. When we decided to R that was one of the first matters I decided take care of. Only one house to try and take from me in the future, should it not work out, & that feels good During my first individual PTSD session my counselor said after telling her about what he put me through in past 25 years (of which I was just scratching the surface)" you are a very faithful person aren't you?". I wasn't sure where she was trying to head with that but the thought of it was scaring the crap out me. I put up with the emotional abuse because I was faithful, maybe I was just a na´ve idiot? There is more, so much more that he said & did to my face & behind my back all these years. I wear myself out thinking about it. But on the brighter side he has turned over a new leaf, is genuinely remorseful, trying his best to earn my trust back and contributing to everything in our life together. In case any of you are wondering, no I am not into porno, S&M, OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! How I was so lucky to end up with a secretive sex & porno addictive I have yet to figure out. Perhaps some day I will.


Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1 1991
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14,moved in with OW 3/9/14,moved out from OW 4/8/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners

Posts: 172 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: colorado
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 12:46 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ws and ow started texting over the team he coached, her kid was on the team. It graduated to sexting soon after, then pix, then pa. I caught him by seeing the boatload of texts shooting between them 8 hrs a day. So to answer your question, in my case, definitely.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5242 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
hihn
♀ Member
Member # 43986
Wink  Posted: 2:54 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let's make a pact not to tell the cheaters out there that they shouldn't text about there cheating, because it seems to be the number one way to get caught. Let's let the bloody fools have their false sense of security/secrecy. Mawhahahaha....


Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1 1991
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14,moved in with OW 3/9/14,moved out from OW 4/8/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners

Posts: 172 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: colorado
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 6:31 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd get down to a lawyer PRONTO and have a post-nuptial document drawn up that doesn't entitle this guy to a box of saltines in the event of a divorce.

You've lost far too much already.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1906 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
mamazen
♀ Member
Member # 42137
Default  Posted: 1:19 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do we have the same WH? Coasted on me financially forever, now wants everything. Porn addict, and I recently learned he likes blow jobs from men, and has probably been doing this the entire marriage. Didn't realize there was a mold for these kinds of guys. I'm sending you compassion vibes. Good luck.


mamazen


me 56
WH 57
married 19 years
separated since 8/2013
D FINAL! Sept 10 2014
D-day Dec 21 2013 (after separation)
2 sons 15 and 12
OW = family friend and WH work colleague, going on many years (I was clueless)


Posts: 77 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: canada
hihn
♀ Member
Member # 43986
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG mamazen

Mine did the anonymous sex membership thing, plus prostitutes, and 2 co-workers. One of the anonymous sex dates ended up being a male dressed in drag. Who promised WH he would introduce him to his sister for anonymous sex if my WH would let him give my WH a BJ. Of course my risk taking WH agreed but claims he didn't like it and got pissed at the guy because WH never did get to meet the sister. Sometimes I think I am still in shock over sheer numbers of sex partners he had & what all he did with them. Yet some how I didn't get a STD. That's a miracle in & of itself. Thank you Jesus.


Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1 1991
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14,moved in with OW 3/9/14,moved out from OW 4/8/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners

Posts: 172 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: colorado
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 3:39 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex hid his sexual preferences from me as well. I am not into porn, young girls, rape, anal rape, or being urinated on. How in the world did I end up with him? He lied to me. Plain & simple.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU

Posts: 10040 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
918Mama
♀ Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine asked "does it bother you that OW and I are Facebook friends??"

I said "nah. I trust you."

Not sure which of us was the bigger idiot.


Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 600 | Registered: Dec 2012
hihn
♀ Member
Member # 43986
Default  Posted: 4:53 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((mamazen))

Have looked into the I can relate forum?
Topic: Spouses/Partners of Sex Addicts-13


Me BS 58yo, Him WS 55yo, sex addict
DD#1 1/28/14 co-worker#1 1991
DD#2 2/8/14 co-worker#2 9/13 - 4/14,moved in with OW 3/9/14,moved out from OW 4/8/14
DD#3 4/10/14 22+ anonymous sex OW
Full disclosure 7/30/14 30+ sex parteners

Posts: 172 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: colorado
Vulcanized
♀ Member
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I caught XH thru text.

OW's pet name for my H: swamp nuts. Sums it all up, huh?


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 776 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OW's pet name for my H: swamp nuts


OMG WTH??


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5242 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
whattheh
♀ Member
Member # 40032
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My fWH was sly and told OW not to text and not to phone. They communicated mostly by email.

OW occasionally broke the rules and texted and called when she wanted reach him more quickly though I later learned.


BW- mid 50's (me)
fWH-late 50's
M 33 T 35
DD-Early 2013 PA 2010
In R but I have PTSD...

Posts: 590 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 12

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