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Newest Member: Gladiator5 (45339)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Tips on Self-Discipline?
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I realize the years are going by and although I am doing ok I want to be doing better.

What works for you to help improve self-discipline?


Posts: 1006 | Registered: Jul 2012
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Accountability. For instance, if you want to lose weight, it helps to join a group where you have to be weighed on a regular basis. No one else knows your weight, but it makes you face yourself and realize that you have to stay on track if you want to see progress.

Another form of accountability is seeking medical advice. If you have a condition that requires a special diet or other change to your way of life, your doctor will know if you're not living up to expectations.

You can also make deals with yourself; if I do X, I will treat myself with Y.

Of course, this isn't foolproof; you can easily lie to yourself or just flat out ignore your own advice, but it's a start.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20284 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
million pieces
♀ Member
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me, sign up for a race that I can't fake my way through. And something that is enough money I don't want to "waste". For me, that is at least a 1/2 marathon. Did that last fall, got back into shape for the first time since dday. And then I didn't run for 4 months afterwards Sooo, I signed up for a full for this fall and signed back up with my local running groups training group. I'm realizing how much I enjoy it and enjoy my running group.

Bottom line for me, $ and fear of making an ass of myself


Me - 42
2 kids, 9 and 12
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me, journaling works--pretty much no matter what the goal. For food/fitness journaling, I like crutches like the fitbit and fitday.com. Otherwise, a pen and paper or a notebook phone app does the trick.

Right now, I'm working to become more disciplined with writing--so I simply log how many words I write each day. There's something about the accountability that ensures I do it. Most days.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 53, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8841 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I keep track of sober days. If they don't tally up to somewhere close to 50% of the total elapsed days in a year (I have a datebook that has that on each day), it's time to cut back.

Yes, I like my wine!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17493 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 2:03 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is my approach:

Measure. If you can't measure you can't control it. So I measure:
- YNAB for budgeting
- Argus (on the iOS device) for things like food, coffee intake, calories, etc.
- Sleep time (on the iOS device) for making sure I sleep well.
And so on.


Immerse yourself in the topic. On any area of your life you want to improve, immerse yourself in the self-improvement material. I listen to Dave Ramsey daily. It helps me control my spending just knowing that I have a goal and listening to other people who do it. Because I can measure the goal, I can know where I stand measured against myself. Because I hear from others, I know how I stand measured against others.

Be Accountable. Tell your friends and others what you're doing, and show them how you're progressing. Show them your numbers and your measurements. Some of them will get it, some will look like you're crazy. And that's fine. But now that you have told people, you will be more likely to stick to it.

Measuring makes my left, calculating brain stick to it.
Immersing myself in the topic helps me control my impulses.
Being accountable creates the social pressure that's needed to not drop the ball.

Finally, relax a bit and enjoy the process (some enjoy the measuring, some enjoy the social pressure and being able to talk about it, etc). Don't stress out too much if you fall back a bit or even completely. Just pick yourself back up and get back on the horse. If it's too much pressure you may give up on it.

This is what works for me.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the responses! Tonight is my last night if goofing off!

How do you listen to Dave Ramsey each day? I think that would help.

I tried this before but hope this sticks!


Posts: 1006 | Registered: Jul 2012
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dave Ramsey has a podcast on iTunes that gets updated daily in the afternoon with his morning radio show.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 4:46 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you- I will listen to his show.

I am trying- my hugest issue is cutting back. I do so many different things. This weekend I am attending a few events and working.

I would enjoy watching a movie with some tea or taking my time to get ready. I am always rushing from place to place.

I think people see me as someone who loves going out but really I am quite happy just relaxing at home.

It is a balance and I think I am out of balance...


Posts: 1006 | Registered: Jul 2012
GotPlayed
♂ Member
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, July 18th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You're very welcome.

Just immersing yourself in the material will cause positive changes, little by little. You choose how fast you want to walk on this.

I love the idea of getting out of debt. Pretty soon I will be there myself, even with this D hanging over my head. Have been very strict with my own self so that when I exit this M it will be maybe with no assets, but with no debt either.

Then to save up and try to live life simply for a while. I attend about one meetup event every couple weeks. Will start picking up the pace when money starts accumulating again.

I just want to make sure I can retire. This D really messed up my retirement plan. GotPlayed 2037 (and whoever his wife is) will thank me, and will be able to buy themselves something real nice.


Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
BS 42, WW 41. 18y married
DD: 11/5/13
DS10 Autism, DD8
OM: Reformed wife-beater ex-con
D filed 1/14/14 by WW (never warn them, they'll get ahead)
Married a powder keg

Posts: 755 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
gardenparty
Member
Member # 12050
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, July 19th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I make lists and stick them on the fridge. Even if it is a small task like replacing a light bulb in the garage, if it is not on the list I get side tracked and forget it. I love the idea of accountability. We accept that in our jobs why not make it a part of our everyday lives.


divorced!

Posts: 2710 | Registered: Sep 2006 | From: newfoundland
Topic Posts: 11

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