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Newest Member: darkchyld (45368)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Yes I did..Sent pics of my .....
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MC = Marriage Counselling
IC = Independent Counselling
D = Divorce

All 3 of these should have been options

not having an A (A = Affair) whether EA (Emotional Affair) OEA (Online Emotional Affair) or PA (Physical Affair)


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

no stop sign = BS always welcome
I d


Posts: 715 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
SorryInSac
♂ Member
Member # 44108
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MC marriage counselling,,,, got it. I did not think we needed it. I had been to counseling for anger management ( was supposed to help me keep my job) so have very mixed feelings on counseling.


Me - 47-PoS
BW Gabybaby. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2014
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Re: Mixed feelings about IC....

Its obvious what you have been doing isn't working out so hot for ya, so at this point, what have you got to lose?

You cant wing this man. You have addictive, obsessive behaviors. IC can and will hold you accountable. As well as help you work thru this crap.


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne


Posts: 6316 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

why would you not need counseling in a living separate lives, and rather pleasure yourself than than be intimate with your BS (Betrayed Spouse)?

I understand the thoughts on counseling. My question is if you try on a shirt and it is too tight, do you have mixed feelings about wearing shirts? Why would this be different?


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

no stop sign = BS always welcome
I d


Posts: 715 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
SorryInSac
♂ Member
Member # 44108
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was going to add something in regards to the counseling and legal matter, but it does not pertain to why I am here.


Me - 47-PoS
BW Gabybaby. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2014
SorryInSac
♂ Member
Member # 44108
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aubrie... think you may have a point there.
Dr.Jekyll.... same


Me - 47-PoS
BW Gabybaby. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2014
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SIS,

I have been reading both threads. Without being specific about what's being said elsewhere, it sounds like your depression is severe. I recognize a lot of commonalities in my own decades-long struggle with same.

I urge you to work with your doctor or psychiatrist if you're seeing one. It doesn't just "get better" on its own.

[This message edited by heartbroken0903 at 1:00 PM, July 15th (Tuesday)]


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried.


Posts: 2232 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
SorryInSac
♂ Member
Member # 44108
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have addictive, obsessive behaviors. IC can and will hold you accountable.

I believe I remember her telling me that I have this...


Me - 47-PoS
BW Gabybaby. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2014
Aubrie
♀ Member
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And how did you respond? What were you feeling then?


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne


Posts: 6316 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
SorryInSac
♂ Member
Member # 44108
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

heartbroken... can you specify some common, and why do you think severe?


Me - 47-PoS
BW Gabybaby. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2014
SorryInSac
♂ Member
Member # 44108
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Aubire.... I think I just laughed it off and said no I don't.


Me - 47-PoS
BW Gabybaby. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2014
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I believe that Dr J brought up a good point. Did you get into porn around the time that you started taking care of yourself?


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5079 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
SorryInSac
♂ Member
Member # 44108
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes I did


Me - 47-PoS
BW Gabybaby. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2014
heartbroken0903
♀ Member
Member # 27879
Default  Posted: 1:18 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shouldn't have opened my mouth because it's against the rules to take content from other posts and discuss elsewhere.

The things that stand out to me from your posts, and that I can relate to: the tiredness, sleeping during majority of time off, difficult shifts/burnout at work, loss of temper/difficult interpersonal relationships with colleagues, and frustration with unemployment/underemployment. Add to that your sporadic taking of ADs/not taking as prescribed...that can make depression even worse.


Me: XWS, 30s, 5-month EA/PA in '09-'10
Husband: XBS, 40s
No kids

Married 2.5 years
D-day 3/6/10
Divorced 5/14/10

Remarried.


Posts: 2232 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: the cat's meow
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Was porn a big part of your life prior to all of this?


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5079 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
SorryInSac
♂ Member
Member # 44108
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No, not at all. In fact I used to scoff at porn.


Me - 47-PoS
BW Gabybaby. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2014
SorryInSac
♂ Member
Member # 44108
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

heartbroken..... I don't think you violated any rules on giving you opinion. I thank you for that. And I have often wondered if I was more depressed, or even manic depressant.


Me - 47-PoS
BW Gabybaby. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2014
tired girl
♀ Member
Member # 28053
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So there is a correlation between using porn, taking care of yourself and stopping sex with your W? Understand, I am not blaming porn here.


Me45 Him 45 Hardlessons DS 25,23,20
D Day 1/18/10 his 3/8/2012 mine
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor Roosevelt

Posts: 5079 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: az
SorryInSac
♂ Member
Member # 44108
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tired..... thinking that may have started playing a part in it.. and no, the porn was not to blame, it was me.


Me - 47-PoS
BW Gabybaby. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4yrs, together 7yrs total

Posts: 62 | Registered: Jul 2014
DrJekyll
♂ Member
Member # 43618
Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, July 15th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the reason that I asked about porn, was for myself porn distorted my thoughts for years before I strayed. It is very common. It is a player in the game, but not the WHY.

Something you will need to look at through this process is all of the players in the game and the WHY. the players are going to be all of the boundaries that you have broken. drinking, porn, medicines, friends, FOO (family of origin) CSA (childhood sexual abuse) CoD (Co-Dependance) ETC.

When was your DDay (day of revelation)?


I am no longer Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. I am me, and they are both part of me.

"If you don't eat the elephant in one bite, it might trample you while chewing"

ME: WH HER: BS (holesinmybucket)

no stop sign = BS always welcome
I d


Posts: 715 | Registered: Jun 2014 | From: United States
Topic Posts: 100
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