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User Topic: I met OC yesterday...
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 11:46 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I met OC for the first time yesterday.

It was a chance encounter. Wrong place at the wrong time, I guess.

I am still processing my feelings.

I won't lie... it stung to see a cute little girl hugging my ex's leg. A scene I had dreamed about many times, only it was supposed to be MY daughter or son.

He introduced us...awkward. He said "This is daddy's friend, Whalers..."

I squatted down and said hi. I asked about the stuffed animal she was holding, if it had a name.

She is a gorgeous little girl. When she was younger, I could see the resemblance to my ex (in photos). Now she looks like a mini OW.

The whole encounter probably lasted a minute but it felt like an eternity.

I stepped outside and took a few deep breaths.

I'm okay, I think.

The whole thing is just so odd... how easily someone can go from being your other half to more or less a stranger in a familiar body.

ETA: I used to avoid places I knew they might go, because I was afraid of this happening After 4 years, though, I realized that I was giving them a power and still letting him control me. I guess now that it happened I can relax - I can't see much worse happening.

[This message edited by Whalers11 at 12:45 PM, July 14th (Monday)]


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Feb 2010
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Whalers, you were so amazing and brave. You knew that the OC had no choice in this and you showed her kindness.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. You are truly the better person.

(((Whalers11)))


I bow to those who keep their hearts open when it is most difficult, those who refuse to keep their armor on any longer than they have to, those who recognize the courage at the heart of vulnerability. - Jeff Brown

Posts: 17380 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
itainteasy
♀ Member
Member # 31094
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Whalers))))


Posts: 3387 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: NWPA
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That must have been terrible. I'm so very sorry.

What a good heart you have, to be kind to the little girl. ((HUGS))


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6744 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 12:15 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't imagine how painful that must be. (((Whalers)))


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17396 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are amazing, and have such a kind heart.

((Whalers))


Posts: 7125 | Registered: Dec 2010
tearingaway
♂ Member
Member # 28618
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, that is so tough. I'm sorry, Whalers.

It was good of you to be so kind to the little girl, but that takes a really big heart and a lot of strength.


Posts: 331 | Registered: May 2010
Whalers11
♀ Member
Member # 27544
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, everyone.

I love kids, and I never wanted to hold anything against OC - this had nothing to do with her, really. I mostly feel bad for her that she ended up with 2 selfish pricks for parents.


Me: BGF - 33
Together 11+ years - not married, no children.
D-Day: 2/9/2010
OC Born: 10/9/2010
Status: He chose OW/OC and left immediately.

Posts: 2231 | Registered: Feb 2010
OK now
♀ Member
Member # 14459
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What dignity and class you demonstrated. Your XWBF is a fool; hopefully he'll realize that one day.

[This message edited by OK now at 1:02 PM, July 14th (Monday)]


Posts: 1709 | Registered: May 2007 | From: NC
NeverAgain2013
♀ Member
Member # 38121
Default  Posted: 1:32 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You, my dear, are one class act.


Be careful - that 'knight in shining armor' may very well be nothing more than an assclown wrapped in tin foil.
ME: 50+ years old and cute as a button :-)
Ex-WBF: Just a lying, cheating, gravy-sucking pig - and I left him in 2012.

Posts: 1756 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: USA
shygirl07
♀ Member
Member # 42972
Default  Posted: 12:53 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whalers,
I posted on another of your threads, I can totaly relate to you .. my WEXBF had a baby with his wayward ex , they got together behind my back.. ive only seen a few pics of the baby but it has blue eyes like her and her features completly.. anyways I know how it feels to see someone you were with for so long with a baby..its weird right? I think you handled it with grace ...

I agree sooo much how you said the OC had nothing to do with it , its the selfish pricks she ended up with ..in my case a mom who is a loser who clings to men to support her , she would often tell me she didnt want my bf that they were friends , (yah right ) and he is a sick , rude, mean , heartless , lying , cheating drug addict.. i hope with all my heart they both change because this child didnt ask for this.. he would often tell me that he needed a child to fix him..additionaly a year before she got pregnant, i had gotten pregnant myself....
so I can totally understand your story..
we can relate to each other a ton

[This message edited by SI Staff at 1:27 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]


me:27
him:30
7 years together
no children

OW was his ex he always convinced was his friend .. moved in her and knocked her up , got together behind my back


Ddays : many in 2009 and 2010
final dday : Sept 2012 after being broken up 3 w


Posts: 73 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: CA
brokeninfl
♀ Member
Member # 21896
Default  Posted: 1:42 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just have to agree with everyone else -- you are a total class act.

You rock.


"On the other side of fear lies freedom"

Me - 36 BS
Him - doesn't matter
2 DS
DD 11/08
Divorced.


Posts: 1074 | Registered: Dec 2008
LoveActually
♀ Member
Member # 31030
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow..talk about classy. Although I can't even imagine how painful that moment was, what an amazing example of empowering oneself.


BS (Me)
WS (Him)
D-Day 5/29/09
Married 11 yrs, together 16 yrs

Posts: 773 | Registered: Jan 2011
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Red  Posted: 1:46 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

shygirl07 -

Please do not post personal information on the forums. Use caution sharing your personal information via private message. YOU are responsible for the personal information you share on the Internet. Thank you.


Posts: 35268 | Registered: Mar 2011
seethelight
♀ Member
Member # 43513
Default  Posted: 1:49 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whalers:

You handled this so well.


ďIf two people truly have feelings for one another then they donít have an affair. They get a divorce and they sort out their feelings. You are accountable for the people you hold hostage in a marriage when your mind and heart refuse to fully commit

Posts: 1151 | Registered: May 2014
IrishGirlVA
♀ Member
Member # 39694
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is going to happen to me one day. My exWBF lives within 2 miles from my home and works within 2 blocks of my work. We shop and eat lunch in the same areas. We even drive to work the same route.

I hope I handle my encounter with as much grace and sophistication that you did.

I know it wasn't easy. Just thinking about this for myself makes me sick.

[This message edited by IrishGirlVA at 2:19 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]


Me: 40 yrs old BGF
Him: 37 yrs old WBF
Us: Together for 4 years and living together for 1
DDay: June 2013
PA with the mother of his child. Both of whom live in another country.
Status Jan 2014: Done. She's preggo again.

Posts: 242 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Virginia
million tears
♀ Member
Member # 24416
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Poor, beautiful, baby girl will probably have to deal with infidelity in her life with such scum as parents. You handled it very well.


2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT. 2 more recent d-days-way overstepped boundaries.

Married 27 years. Together 29.

3 children 24, 21, 14

OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC.


Posts: 1664 | Registered: Jun 2009
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 3:10 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((( Whalers )))
That was incredibly classy on your part.
That little girl is an innocent. You treated her with kindness AND refrained from kicking her father in the nuts.

Job well done, I'd say.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 3:26 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday)]


Me - 40s
SorryInSac - WH#2 - 40s. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - ??

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW)
Legally married 18yrs, together 16.5yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6445 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 3:35 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The whole thing is just so odd... how easily someone can go from being your other half to more or less a stranger in a familiar body.

I've never read something so profound ...

Whaler you are an amazing and kind woman. I can't even begin to imagine what you were feeling but you handled yourself so beautifully. I wish you the most wonderful of futures, you deserve the best


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5048 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whalers,

You have always been, and continue to be, a class act with nothing but dignity.

Kudos to you.

(((hugs)))


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
OC born 3/08
OC Adopted 2014

Reconciled


Posts: 2271 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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