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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Words I'd like to say to the OW/OM!!!
BlueBlueEyes
♀ Member
Member # 43949
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so filled with disgust. I wish there was a forum of things people want to say to the AP! How can they be do selfish, naive, stupid, careless!!!... What does it take to decide you want someone who is married with a family and to hell with everything else? Doesn't sound like love at all. Such destruction and little or no consequences. I wouldn't cause this type of pain on my worst enemy!


BW - 49
WH - 50
Married 30 years
Beautiful Son, Daughter and 2 Grandsons.

OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.

Hopeful but cautious


Posts: 194 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Texas
Guinness23
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 10:26 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What I wanted to say to the AP:

"My exh tells me you are a good Christian person. So in YOUR religion, you only believe 7 of the ten commandments or do you pick and choose upon demand?"

[This message edited by Guinness23 at 2:07 AM, July 25th (Friday)]


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
BlueBlueEyes
♀ Member
Member # 43949
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guinness I'm a little confused by your post. How would your exh know me? What do you mean by 7 commandments? I'm the bs not the wS.


BW - 49
WH - 50
Married 30 years
Beautiful Son, Daughter and 2 Grandsons.

OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.

Hopeful but cautious


Posts: 194 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Texas
shiloe
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think Guiness was referring to her OW.

My exh tells me you are a good Christian person.

That is exactly the same thing my WH told me about his married OW #2.

Seriously???!!!


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with married ho-worker. Kicked him out, he filed

Posts: 592 | Registered: Mar 2003
needfriendshere
♀ Member
Member # 43350
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think Guinness is telling us what she would tell the OW.

I would tell our OW: "Get a life already! Forget about the man who dropped you flat and find a man who will treat you with respect. And please stop telling me things I already know about my H and what happened between you. Nothing you tell me will make me leave him..."


Me: early 50's
WH: early 50's
Married: 23 years
DS: 21 years old
Other DS: 18 years old
D-day: 2/14/2014
H's AP lasted 6 years, but we are both trying hard to R.

Posts: 407 | Registered: May 2014
BlueBlueEyes
♀ Member
Member # 43949
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, July 24th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ohhh.... Got it. It sounds familiar to me as well. Mine told me this woman was a really neat person who should have stayed his friend. No kidding! And she has 3 daughters! Who does that? I think women who can do this to other women deserve the fallout! I'm angry with my husband but these people are do selfish. Best friends, sisters, babysitters?!?!? Who can you trust if not your husband and friends?


BW - 49
WH - 50
Married 30 years
Beautiful Son, Daughter and 2 Grandsons.

OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.

Hopeful but cautious


Posts: 194 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Texas
MammaMia
♀ Member
Member # 34030
Default  Posted: 1:44 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I told her what I thought of her to her face and I did it four times. Two over the phone and two in person. It felt good(still does ) it is off my chest.
Since I do see her once in a while, I totally ignore her now. Once we practically sat next to each other and I kept talking to the guy next to her pretending she was a persona non grata. She is a nobody to me and I want to keep it that way.

Whether you confront the OW or not, is totally up to each individual. Some do not see the need to do so, and others do make a point to confront. You do what you think is best for you and only you. She may hurt you intentionally though by what she may tell you.

The OW in my case kept quiet the first three times and she said hardly anything. The last time I confronted her over the phone, she claimed she was not going to listen to me and hung up. Fine with me: she had already heard what my opinion of her was.


And once the storm is over, you wonít remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive.But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you wonít be the same person who walked in. Thatís what this stormís all about.Ē

Posts: 865 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Somewhere in the South
Guinness23
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 2:12 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry for the confusion, folks

I would NEVER challenge anyone here about their religion. I went back and edited my post to clear up the confusion.


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 522 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
BlueBlueEyes
♀ Member
Member # 43949
Default  Posted: 4:04 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Guinness, everyone understood perfectly except me. I get it and I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. I'm up, can't sleep again and am expecting a difficult next two days. Whole other post... Thankfully NOT to do with wh! You people are my life line and I am not at my best. Not even close.


BW - 49
WH - 50
Married 30 years
Beautiful Son, Daughter and 2 Grandsons.

OW - multiple, just found out about ALL of them, Husband coming out of years of fog due to multiple childhood and military events.

Hopeful but cautious


Posts: 194 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Texas
william
Member
Member # 41986
Default  Posted: 6:49 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so happy Ithe one I did see I saw on a bus. I told him to get off at the next stop or I would give him a beating so bad that he would wish for the rest of his life that he had gotten off the bus while he had the chance. I was fully prepared to deliver on my promise. I've seen him 2x since. He saw me on the bus while waiting for it. He didn't get on. The other time he was in his car. He pulled over, rolled his window down, and shouted "what do you want with me". I walked over, put my arm through his window and pointed at him, told him if he ever sees me again he better run, and then I jammed my finger into his eye. I've not seen him since.

The other guys - I'm glad I've not seen them. Some aren't bright enough to run. I don't know if I could stop hitting them once I started.


me - bh
her - lara01

from 09/11 - 05/13
2 ONS, 10 sexting partners, 1 LT EA/PA

??/06/13 DD/1 - admits to LT EA, begin false R.
01/13/14 DD/2 - LTA was PA.
01/18/14 DD/3 - sexting 5 guys.
01/19/14 DD/4 - 2 ONS with different guys


Posts: 544 | Registered: Jan 2014
neecee
♀ Member
Member # 43523
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I confronted the OW the morning after I found out and I scared the bejesus out of her, I was acting on pure emotions and I really let her have it. 3 days later on Mothers Day, when I had time to calmly think about what I wanted to say to this POS M woman with children, I sent her this text. Along with a scripture on adultery.

On this mothers day I am grieving a great loss. The man that I held up so high, who was the center of my world, my life, my rock, my strength and support, is no longer there. He has taken what was a bond that was 30 years strong and severed it in a moment. He has destroyed my life and that of my children. They are devastated. Now having to deal with the hearts ache that comes with deception. They have lost respect for him. My 16 year old daughter will have to always know her fathers words and guidance of how love should be, suddenly mean nothing. My 14 year old son is left confused and crushed by the man he looks up too. My 7 yr old daughter will now have to learn to live without seeing her father every day of her little life. My children have lost their father as they have know him. They are devastated. So on this beautiful sunny mothers day, my home is filled with sadness, sorrow, and pain. How do me and my children move on from such devastation. A huge part of our lives has died. I will never forgive either of you. But I take comfort in know that God will fight my battles for me. And when judgment day is upon us, I will stand before the Lord whole and pure. You and him will have to deal with your sins before a higher power. And you should pray he is merciful on you. Happy Mothers Day adulterer.

I sent her a few texts a few weeks later, but I no longer feel the need to do that. I need to focus on my future with my H, not her.

[This message edited by neecee at 9:55 AM, July 25th (Friday)]


What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.....I should be dead by now!!!!!
me 44
WH 46
married 19 years
together 28 years
3 children 16,14,7
OW-lucky to be alive!!!!
D-Day 5/8/2014

Posts: 113 | Registered: May 2014 | From: new york
sparkysable
♀ Member
Member # 3703
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and then I jammed my finger into his eye. I've not seen him since.
OMG William I am crying I am laughing so hard! Seriously tears!


D-day OW#1 2/2004; R for 6 years; D-day OW#2 5/2010

Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.


Posts: 3348 | Registered: Mar 2004 | From: NY
Hopeful74
♀ Member
Member # 44003
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH AP was after him the day she met him. I thought I had nothing to worry about. After my WH came out of his 'fog' and called me trying to come home (after staying with her for 2 months after DDay) I unblocked her on FB long enough to leave her this message, 'if you contact my husband ever again, I will contact Kevin (father of her child) and let him know what kind of environment his trashy baby mama subjects his son to'. She read it rigt away, but never responded. As soon as I could again, I blocked her on Facebook. I felt better. I felt like I was finally standing up for mysel after being so passive with her.


Me: BW 39 Him:WH 37 (M)12 years; (T)18 years -2 DD: 16; 3; 1 DS: 9
Separated, headed for Divorce-he's not strong enough for me
'Everytime you get up and get back in the race, one more small piece of you starts to fall into place.' -

Posts: 302 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Hampton, VA
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"My exh tells me you are a good Christian person. So in YOUR religion, you only believe 7 of the ten commandments or do you pick and choose upon demand?"

THIS^^^^^^

Also - glad you're so worried about your children not seeing the filthy sexts you sent my husband! Too bad you didn't give a shit about my children when you were begging my H to leave me and be with you.

And give up the God act and FB posts. Everyone knows you're a dirty whore. My H was OM #1 out of 3. I'm SO glad I told OBS. He started watching you, and finally saw you for the gold digging pig you are and tossed your fat ass out!


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1893 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

and then I jammed my finger into his eye. I've not seen him since.

Shouldn't that read: "and then I jammed my finger into his eye. He's not seen me since."


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 4089 | Registered: Sep 2005
Hopefuldad468
♂ Member
Member # 44143
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, July 25th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For now...I got to say what I wanted to the OM and former friend.

After the NC call...I made my WW have him call me..

I was calm and collected and never raised my voice. I just reiterated what NC meant and what the concequnces for my wife would be if she contacted him ever again. That should do for now...until he tries contact again...then I have some surprises in store...

[This message edited by Hopefuldad468 at 10:07 AM, August 16th (Saturday)]


Posts: 65 | Registered: Jul 2014 | From: Midwest USA
Topic Posts: 16

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