Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: sandihaze (45362)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: he abused my kids....wow...
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Call his supervisor.

Go yourself to the police station.

Call child protective and have a case opened.

This is so wrong.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 2215 | Registered: Jan 2012
teeghan
♀ Member
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 9:14 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Homewrecked - I have called child protetive services and made a report - they have not done anything yet. I am definitely going to try to get a higher up in the police department to hear my compliants as well.

I agree this is beyond wrong.... I am still in shock. I am still wondering what the hell they saw to make them say they dont have a case and it was closing? How much abuse does it take for our justice system to really step up to keep the victims safe and put away the man that is causing all the pain, breaking all the rules left and right. Does it take until they are gone? I just am so shocked......


Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG Teeghan! No wonder you are shocked and enraged! This is just reprehensible and heart wrenching. Please keep your strength to keep fighting for your kids. Sending you prayers and hugs.


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 21 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, he officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 715 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
painfulpast
♀ Member
Member # 41038
Default  Posted: 10:09 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sick that they interviewed the abuser and decided that there was no case!!! HE'S THE GUILTY PARTY!!! OF COURSE HE LIED TO THEM!!!

I hate police, seriously. How dare this detective not bother to interview the kids but instead interview an abusive asshole and then send the kids back there.

Definitely go to his supervisor - his lack of care in this case is bordering on criminal neglect. Be sure to tell the supervisor that if your kids are abused again you intend to file charges against the detective division for criminal negligence or misconduct or any charge you can make stick. After all, any further abuse is solely because of their failure to properly do their job.

Lazy pricks.


The stones from my enemies, these wounds will mend
but I cannot survive the roses from my friends

Posts: 1898 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: East Coast
Jeaniegirl
♀ Member
Member # 6370
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have seen two cases like this that horrified me. In both cases the judge actually held a hearing but still two babies (separate cases) were given back to an abusive parent and both were killed. No wonder a protective parent often flees with children.


"Because I deserve better"

Posts: 993 | Registered: Feb 2005
Hrtbrken1
♀ Member
Member # 33802
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I live in Georgia as well, and this just makes me so ill. Considering how much the lack of response to child abuse cases has been in the news lately, I am FLOORED by this detective's response. I agree, call his supervisor. If you can, PM me what county you're in.


Me-BW
Him-WH
Together 16 years, married 10.
DDay 07/26/2011, 8 month EA/PA with friend of our family. Months of TT.
DDay#2 Early spring 2012, confirmed EA with another woman.

Posts: 144 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Sunny South
brokenblackbird
♀ Member
Member # 29541
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are your children in counseling? If they are, get them in. Counselors are MANDATORY reporters of abuse.

I assume with bruises and marks that have lasted 18+ days you have already taken him to a doctor but if not - take them to the doctor. Doctors and nurses are also MANDATORY reporters of abuse.

Do all these things. See all these people. Get yourself a paper trail that cannot be dismissed.

Call CPS and get the case reopened. Show them the photographs. Show them the doctor's report, the counselor's opinion, etc.

Time for the mama bear claws to come out.

Hang in there!


Posts: 777 | Registered: Sep 2010
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This just makes me sick. Im so sorry. Im so fucking pissed off for you and your babies.

This POS has beat you in front of the kids..stalked you..had a RO..there is a shit ton of evidence against this POS..all showing him to be an abusive asshole..and this fucking detective believes the word of a known abuser?? And he doesn't even bother to speak with the victims?

I agree...go to the police station and ask to speak to the head detective.

I don't see how they can say there isn't enough evidence here. I don't understand why they aren't speaking with the children.

I will pray that they won't suffer any further abuse this weekend while they are with him. Im sure he is pissed that they told.

Hey..he violated probation by leaving the state..what happened to that? Are they just going to look the other way on that too?


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7694 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
teeghan
♀ Member
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 2:09 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hrtbroken you have a PM

Yes confused I have been at a loss of words over the last 10 months. He has stalked me, barged in on my very sick mother, telling her he would stop at nothing to get my kids, text me and ask me to come to his house to have sex and leave the next morning to go to work - and they have YET to ever do anything on a TPO violation ... he wont pay support, and I cant get him served as he wont answer the door and because he is self employed I can not get a garnishment so I am still fighting that.

And then yes NOW this - I am beyond upset. I am thinking of emailing our local news department in all honesty. I am truly at a loss of words. I have tried to file several reports of BLANTANT violations against my ex and every time the damn cops tell me it is a civil custody issue, take it to court we cant help you.

Keep in mind I let a LOT of what he does go. I only have tried to report major things and He still gets away with everything and anything. It makes me sick.

I tried to call the kids and they didnt answer. I am a basket case.

Yes my kids are in counselnig and the counselor has mentioned callnig CPS to file a report. I havent followed up with her yet but I believe her. She cant stand him and in my counseling sessions told me how he will NEVER stop. It is not about the kids, this is about control. He is still trying to control me. He even went after my best friend who is a cop (not same county as I live in and where I am trying to fight him at) but he is a cop. He loves his job and has done it for 12 years. He gave us a place to stay when we left that day back in October.

Well NOW my ex has the interanl affairs folks investigating him of using his 'police' power to get my ex arrested when It should have been me to go to jail that day. I was floored when I found out all the allegations my stupid ex put in a SWORN statement. My poor friend is not in great jeorpardy of losing his job over a idiot that gets away with anything and no one seems to want to stand up to him.
So I have tried to not ask him any questions. He was also floored on what has been going on with the legal system. He told me he lost faith in the justice these days. I know the feeling big time.


Here is my goals this week:

Contact the SHERIFF himself Monday morning and get a sit down meeting.

Follow back up with CPS to see about getting a case with them for the kids.

Finding an attorney to file emergency hearing in our town for Sole Custody NO Visitation.

Follow up with Counselor on her behalf of her reports.

Be back in counseling with kids and myself.

And maybe call local news depending on how the talking to the sheriff call goes.


Thank you all again for listening to me and giving me advise. I am a basket case this week - I just do not know what more they need for abuse... :(


Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
teeghan
♀ Member
Member # 40859
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh and confused - on the leaving state issue - Yes I most certainly did call his probation officer, which the info was given to me by the police station on who it was and who to speak to.

They are going to get his cell records to see where his phone pinged that day and if it is over state lines, then yes he will have what they call a revokation hearing. That is when the judge will revoke him to go to jail for x amount of days (usually 60 here where I am at)

I am not sure how they proceed on that. I just make a report - I dont get any other info other than they will definitely find out. I just cant believe this is my life. Was enough to be cheated on, then being abused, but now my kids. This part I can not handle. I am about to lose my marbles literally and I do not want to go do something I will regret :( But damn... when does it stop?????


Posts: 111 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Georgia
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 2:17 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I could give you a big hug. Im so sorry. I can't imagine anything worse.

I had the same thought..about calling the news stations. I would wait until after talking to the sheriff and CPS, and your counselor. If no one can help, maybe that should be your next step.

Im not surprised he isn't letting the kids call you. Unless it's in the visitation agreement, chances are, he won't allow them to call you at all. He wants you to worry. I think he sounds insane.

I hate this for you.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7694 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
still2suspicious
♀ Member
Member # 31722
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WTF!!

What the hell is wrong with that detective?? What a lazy POS! How does he sleep at night knowing what is going on with your babies and doing nothing??

I am spitting nails for you teeghan.

I vote for the news media. Up here we have some wonderful "dog with a bone" investigators. They DO NOT let up with DSHS. And DSHS has been in so much shit they do not like to have everyone know how worthless they really are.

Yes, not letting your babies talk to you is just his messed up thinking of controlling you. Doesn't give a shit what your babies need/want.

NUKE THOSE FUCKERS!!!

Sending all my prayers and strength to you, and your babies.


Me: BS
Him: WH
DDay: LTEA

Posts: 1304 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From:
hopefulmom44
♀ Member
Member # 44136
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Teeghan-

Hang in there. Be strong and keep up the fight for your little ones. Sending hugs your way!


Posts: 102 | Registered: Jul 2014
Gemini71
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have any advice, because you are already doing everything you possibly can. Just wanted to let you know that I am horrified at what has happened. Sending you and your kids prayers and positive thoughts.


Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.


Posts: 1862 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Hrtbrken1
♀ Member
Member # 33802
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Doesn't Atlanta CBS do investigative reports on things like this? I agree on contacting the news, FTG.


Me-BW
Him-WH
Together 16 years, married 10.
DDay 07/26/2011, 8 month EA/PA with friend of our family. Months of TT.
DDay#2 Early spring 2012, confirmed EA with another woman.

Posts: 144 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Sunny South
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

https://www.facebook.com/SafeKidsInternational

https://www.facebook.com/pages/I-Am-Custody-Battle-Strong/118955334937387

http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2011/08/05/read-excerpt-from-phyllis-cheslers-book-mothers-on-trial/

http://www.courageouskids.net/

http://www.momlogic.com/2010/01/custody_crisis_why_mothers_are_punished_in_family_court.php


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
nekorb
♀ Member
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 7:21 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh teeghan. I'm so, so sorry.

Stay strong. Stay safe. Stay LEGAL. Ok?

Sending prayers and thoughts your way.


Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 aka CAT- colossal asshat; Married 22 years
D-day: July 17, 2013, with TT to follow
D filed July 16, 2014, 363 days later than I should have
Psalms 27:14
Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart. Wait for the Lord.

Posts: 1838 | Registered: Aug 2013
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What!? He worked the case "hard?" My ass he did! All the pictures and the kids testimony should be enough. I can't wrap my head around this. Didn't he leave your daughter on the side of the road? What did the detective say about that? Was that just parental discipline? Screw that! Ugh! I'm pissed for you!


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Go to every news station that you can with your children's photos, and offer the reporters the chance to blow, sky-high, a conspiracy in the police department to ignore documented child abuse, documented spousal abuse, and any other thing you can think of. Offer names of people who you've reported to and had no help from. Speculate on how much longer it will take until your children are raped or killed by their abuser. Go to the FBI and report that your children have been taken out of state by their documented abusive father and abused in another state.

You've done everything, Every Freaking Thing, that you were supposed to do and you've been shit upon by this PD at every turn. Time to go after them, and then bump this up the line to the media. I would also get in touch with your local state representative and make sure that they get photos of your children's wounds.

Screw the locals. They obviously are completely worthless.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4943 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Delilah169
♀ Member
Member # 43689
Default  Posted: 9:06 PM, July 26th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((teeghan)))

I was absolutely horrified after reading this whole topic. Someone said "Definitely go to his supervisor - his lack of care in this case is bordering on criminal neglect. Be sure to tell the supervisor that if your kids are abused again you intend to file charges against the detective division for criminal negligence or misconduct or any charge you can make stick. After all, any further abuse is solely because of their failure to properly do their job." Great advice IMHO. Put the fear of God into that police department regarding anything else happening to your babies.

You seem to have it all together, are doing all the right things. You MUST be sure his visitation rights are stopped before his PO puts him back in jail, cuz he's gonna be pissed, and he sounds like a scary, scary man.

My heart bleeds for you and your brave children. You are a wonderful mother, I am in awe of your strength. Thoughts and prayers coming hard.

Please keep us updated. . .


Me - BS, Him - WS
Her - POS WB Fake Friend
Married - 22 Years, together 25
One 22 yo DD
DD - 4/28/13, TT since then
Trying hard for R
"Life might be a little simpler if we just got over it"
"It all seems so clear in hindsight"

Posts: 110 | Registered: Jun 2014
Topic Posts: 86
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5

Return to Forum: Just Found Out Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.