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Newest Member: TryingToReform (45458)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: I mentioned ow's name on date with wife
Tickingtock
♀ Member
Member # 41411
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, July 17th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know if this happened to me, as a BS, I would think it was an intentional jab. Like "you're having a good time right now but just remember that I can eff other women."

But whenever I read a post like this I wonder if it's the opposite. I wonder if after months of living a lie, of constantly sneaking around and being constantly on alert and afraid of getting caught, if WSs let their guard down and slip BECAUSE they aren't thinking of the OM/OW now that the truth is out and they are no longer in the A.

Apple, if you were still in the A, do you think you would have let OW's name slip? Were there other times that you didn't say her name, in any context, out of fear of getting caught?


Me: 31, exBGF, now married

Posts: 189 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: West Coast, USA
Apple3point14
♂ Member
Member # 39035
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You raise a good point ticking tock. I imagine most people in an affair are hypervigilant. Covering all tracks, watching what they say carefully. I am no longer worried about that in the context of having an affair, or have anything to hide, but I think an exercise of caution always needs to be used to keep your betrayed spouse comfortable.

Posts: 81 | Registered: Apr 2013
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, July 20th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

three of my best friends have the same name as OW1. I cringe every time he says their name, although its like, whatever. My AP's name is our BIL's name. I always say his first name and last name when I speak of him. I'm sure it still sucks.


his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

“Follow your intuition. Be smart, be brave. Tell the truth and don’t take any shit.”


Posts: 5344 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 43
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3

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