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Newest Member: asherssoul (45716)

Wayward Side Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Unanticipated Consequences
♂ Member
Member # 42012
Default  Posted: 3:23 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

t/j @ Becomingme

I can't post to your stop sign as I'm what they call a betrayed child (BC)...long story, and I see you don't have yourself set up for pm's. Understandable in that you need as much protection as you can get. I read though your story and your thread and you have a very painful story on your hands. Wanted to welcome you to SI and let you know that this is a safe place for you. I also really feel for your BH and everything he's going through. Sounds like he could use the support as well. Understandable that you may want to keep SI to yourself, but if you were willing to let your BH come here, if he's not already, in addition to creating his own threads he may find some additional support in the betrayed menz thread here:

Most importantly wanted to welcome you and hope that you and your BH get some much needed support in your journey forward.


end t/j

sorry for the t/j Wayflost.

And to all of you in this consequences thread, I feel for you having your privacy violated in a most despicable manner.


25 years and counting of pain caused by mother's infidelity. Aftermath: 1 deceased sibling, 1 lost family, 3 lost souls.
"Each new day I am just glad to be alive and have survived all that I did." Ashland13

Posts: 2349 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Northeast US
♀ Member
Member # 41583
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YOP - as far as I am concerned, so long as anything you want to say is in accordance with the rules of SI you are welcome to a t/j or two. So no apology necessary.

I agree BecomingMe, please stick around. Many of us have been through a lot, done a lot, and are working on a lot. But we are here as a community to support each other in our healing.

Some of the consequences we face as WS make perfect sense. Some of them feel "just" or "fair" or at least deserved. But other people continuing the degradation, deceit, and bad choices is not a consequence that sits well with me.

Not believing it would happen to me is the part of it that I am struggling with most. How stupid was it of me to think that I wouldn't be further disrespected in this way? There is another thread from pizzalover where she talks about the lies she told herself.

I told myself that my APs were "honorable" men. That they were interested because they respect me. That I needed the ego kibbles that they handed me.

But when I think about the potential for sharing of my images... These were not honorable men, just as I was not an honorable woman. These men did not respect me. If they had respected me they would have treated me as "off limits." And since I know that is true, I also know that they were anything but trustworthy.

My BH on the other hand, is.

Me: WW
Him: BH (totalheartbreak)
Both: 30s

Posts: 488 | Registered: Dec 2013
♀ Member
Member # 43189
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Becomingme)) & ((Wayflost))

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

DDay: April 2014

Posts: 94 | Registered: Apr 2014
♀ New Member
Member # 44183
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

YOP, thanks very much for the kind words and welcome. My husband is definitely one to keep to himself, though I have shared your posts and will encourage him to read. He is an amazing man, and I am lucky to have him beside me.

Thanks, timidhope.

Posts: 18 | Registered: Jul 2014
♂ Member
Member # 42834
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, July 22nd (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While photos didn't happen, we have warned our kids of this type of thing for future reference. We've told them that photos can be posted anywhere, anytime and to be careful whether it be less than fully clothed as they get into teen and college years or even drinking down the road photos. The internet spreads this stuff fast.

Her-BS (deena04)
Upper 30s and kids at home (hers/mine/ours)
Cheater-me 2.5 years into relationship, 2 months before engagement, 1.5 year before M...this is not an excuse but a timeline of our life

Posts: 249 | Registered: Mar 2014
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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